How do you usually go about meeting new friends?
By ilyzium
@ilyzium (1197)
Canada
August 28, 2009 4:32pm CST
Well, I don't know about you but these days it seems like few people stay friends for their entire lives. Friendships die, people move away, friends are spending most of their time with a new partner, or one day you find you have nothing in common with your old set of friends. Then one day you realize you need to expand your social circle of friends. So, how do you normally meet friends?
I can say for myself that I've always had lots of friends, however I've noticed in the last few years that the number had dwindled down a bit: best friends have moved overseas, a few have married & had babies and they're wrapped up in their lives, and then I also have a few that I've realized are too shallow or I have nothing in common with. Usually I've met friends from the gym, a job, or through other friends. How about you?
6 responses
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
29 Aug 09
I'll be honest...
I usually make new friends through online venues.. friends of online friends, or my roommate introduces me. I don't express myself well verbally at all, so through writing online is usually how it happens for me xD
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
29 Aug 09
Hey zoey,
Really? You've made lots of friends that way have you? Friends that you've actually met in person and now hang out with? I've never met anyone online in person. I guess that would make me a little bit nervous because although most people you meet online are fine, perfectly normal in every way, but you can also come across the psychopath that uses it to prey on people. But then again you can meet a psychopath in any situation. Ok I'll stop there, I've probably been watching too many movies. lol Oh you don't express yourself verbally? Well, I'll be the first to admit that I'm quite shy in person when it comes to initiating the first contact, and I think most of my friends have probably done the initiating. I don't know...I suppose it's the fear of rejection.
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
29 Aug 09
Yup.. Met, hung out with, lived with, dated, partied with.. quite a few of them actually (= Sometimes it's just been something as small as meeting or taking them lunch... to at one point rooming with 6 or 7 of them. I have the voice of a 14 or 15 year old girl that comes in two volumes soft and extra loud... so just not fond of talking.. I either get heard of everyone ends up upset lol
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
Well that's really cool that you've made friendships that way, and really it doesn't really matter how you meet someone, but the quality of the friendship. Oh you have one of those "mouse voices". My husband's like that-so quiet and soft spoken that people sometimes can't hear him either. lol
@sehlers (163)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I've met friends in all kinds of ways. Usually I meet people just doing things that follow my interests. One of my best long time friends I met while we were both doing historical reenactment. I've had several friends that I met on an old local BBS. I have another long time friend I met when we used to ride the same express bus every day. So it varies. I just keep an open mind to meeting potential friends where ever I go, and that seems to work out pretty well for me.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
Hello again,
Yes I think that is always the best advice when meeting friends, to meet people based on your interests because at least that way you'll already have something so discuss. That's different about meeting people on the bus, but no more different than my befriending a friend in the ladies washroom. Well, ok the washroom thing was unusual...lol
@taztheone (1721)
• India
28 Aug 09
Meeting new friends are really exciting & it feels good to have many new friends. i usually find new friends at works or at pubs. Then also friends of friends meetup once in a week. Since I love making friends, I don't think its difficult to get good friends
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
28 Aug 09
Hi taztheone,
Yes it does feel good making new friends doesn't it? Especially when you have lots in common, it almost kind of feels like a new love relationship in a weird way...? Oh meeting friends under the "influence" are you? ;) Were you sober at the time? ;) You've also mentioned meeting friends of friends, well I've had some strange friends before because I remember some of them feeling almost threatened if i tried to befriend their friends? Insecure or what...
@PinoyBPOJournal (143)
• Philippines
28 Aug 09
I think an abundance of friends is a good thing as you can get different opinions about anything under the sun but I think some friends are just for good time friends and will leave you as soon as you are not useful to them anymore so beware and not all friends are good friends.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
28 Aug 09
Hey pinoyBPojournal,
Oh true, yeah I would call those "fair weather" friends that are there for you when everything is sunshine and roses, but disappear when you need them the most. Well, I know my problem is that I'm usually too trusting with people and won't see their "true colors" until much later.
@weebit_43229 (25)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Basically that is the best way because those people at least have something in common with you. Wanna know how many true "friends" I have?.... Other than my husband.... one. Someone whomj I have known since I was a child. I don't "hang out" with people and don't care to start. I have more important things to worry about, like my kids, rather than how much time I get to spend with my friends. To me friendships come and go, but family is forever. If you happen to find one or two people who stick with you over time, wonderful, but not a requirement in my book. Friends lose touch.... I didn't talk to my one friend for almost 5 years, but I looked him up when I moved back home (from across the country) and we picked right up where we left off. My kids now call him their "uncle" even though they know he isn't, but I honestly feel like he is a brother to me (family again), and family never leaves you completely.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
28 Aug 09
Hi weebit,
I agree that it's best if you meet people based on your own common interests-true, because then at least you'll have things to talk about. That's a nice way of looking at it: "family is forever", that's true and unfortunately lots of people forget that today, people become estranged from their families, etc. My husband's closest friends are all overseas, and though he doesn't talk to them much, he considers them like his close family -sometimes sees them every few years. Sometimes I wonder who is more loyal with their friends, men or women?
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
28 Aug 09
Oh so you're one of the "friend snatchers". lol Just kidding though, yeah that's probably one of the more common ways to meet friends. Oh I just thought of something crazy, but years ago I used to have this retail job working in a mall (yes I've had lots of jobs), anyway, one day I was forced to use the public washroom because someone had accidentally flushed scissors down the toilet, thereby plugging it. Anyway, I repeated my story to this woman in the bathroom and she couldn't stop laughing for about 5min. Well, we decided to hang out from then on and became best friends. Have I ever done that before? No, but you can meet people in the craziest ways.
