I have my own skillet and I don't like others to touch it
By Teresa W.
@horsesrule (1957)
United States
August 30, 2009 4:54am CST
I know that makes me sound selfish but let me explain. I moved in with my daughter and her three children almost 7 years ago. Last year, my daughter's partner moved in too. So that's 3 adult women, three little boys and three animals (two dogs, one cat) all in one small house. Our kitchen is used by all of us, every single member of the family, animals too. The only place that I have to call my own is my bedroom and I have to share even that with the kids because the Playstation is in my room.
Well earlier this year, couple months back, I won a contest and the prize was a really nice heavy weight skillet. I don't remember the brand but its a nice skillet and it's new and it's mine. Skillets don't last in our house. We all use them and I have no control over the other adults in this house (remember its not my household, it's my adult daughters). But anyway, I told everyone that I want this to be my skillet only for now. I told them that the time might come when I don't care if anyone touches it but for now, it's my new skillet I won and I like it a lot. I don't want to share it. Why? Because they will have it on high heat too much and the coating will fall out AND they will use scrubbers to scrub it clean or stick it in the dishwasher, those are big no no's for a skillet. Plus I don't eat pork or lard and they cook bacon and leave bacon grease in all the skillets. I am not slamming anyone, not even them, I just don't eat pork, that's just me. However, I find bacon grease in all the skillets in the house to be gross and I want a skillet that does not have pork or bacon grease cooked in it.
So I ask them not to touch my skillet, I ask them not to cook in my skillet and I ask them never to wash my skillet if its dirty. I figure that way my skillet might actually last more than a couple of months!
Tonight I found out that the other adults in the house, my daughter and her partner hate my skillet. They say it is because I make a big deal about it, always asking them if they are using my skillet or if they've touched it. I didn't think I'd been that bad about it but they want me to keep my skillet in my bedroom.
What do you think? I already know I'm selfish, I mean, what about the part if I should keep the skillet in my bedroom except when I am using it? Why can't the skillet just be in the kitchen and they don't touch it?
4 people like this
11 responses
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
30 Aug 09
I can understand where you're coming from lol. I've lived with room-mates who took my brand new teflon frying pan and warped it. Then I bought another new one and they used a fork to scramble their eggs in it and ruined it. The third one I kept in my room so it wouldn't be used and ruined the same day I bought it. I don't think it's really selfish, you're just trying to keep something nice. I think the only reason they don't want it with the rest of the equipment is so they won't be tempted to use it, and that's ok because they're trying to follow your wishes. Maybe keeping it in your room is a good idea, just to keep the peace.
2 people like this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
31 Aug 09
You are right, keeping the peace is more important in a household this size than whether or not my very own skillet (which sounds silly when I write that!) is kept in the kitchen or my bedroom.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
If you want the skillet to stay nice, you'd probably best keep it in your room anyway, until the "new" has worn off and you feel okay about others using it. While it's in the kitchen, it's just too convenient and easy to use this nice, clean skillet, and then people might resent that they can't use it.
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
31 Aug 09
That's true, that is exactly what is happening, they feel resentment towards my skillet. I'm not sure I completely understand that but I will have to keep it in my room so I can keep the peace. And also to keep them from smashing my skillet with a hammer as one person said to me.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
31 Aug 09
I know exactly how you feel, and I believe you are entitled to your idiosyncrasy. Many years ago I worked with several other guys as a machine-cleaner in a large factory. The machine cleaning crew had special equipment suited to their jobs. I remember that one person had inscribed in black marker on his plastic pail. " Ron's Pail! Do not touch or fondle!"
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
31 Aug 09
LOL I like that black marker idea! I did try to do something like that with one skillet before I got this new one from a contest win. I sprayed gray paint on the handle of one skillet and asked them to please not cook any pork, bacon, in it. That didn't work so that's even more why I want this one skillet for cooking my foods in especially.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Aug 09
horsesrule hi hatley here It is your skillet and I cannot'
emphasize the word yours enough. three women in one kitchen
means diseaster wow. They are adults and adults should know
that if you say dont touch my skillet you mean dont touch my
skillet. tellthem whats so hard about that. I will hang my'skillet on a special nail and you will not touch it.understand plain English,
you will not touch my skillet.if necessary post a nice stu rdy'
sign in the kitchen over your private nail and make sure that they do not touch and do not put any pork in it.
Dont use it use your own skillets please. and never ever fry any bacon in it. just leave it alone as its not yours its mine.
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Thank you hatley, I had to laugh when I read your response because it is so exactly how I feel about the whole skillet episode! It doesn't seem like a big deal that I should want to have one skillet that is mine only that doesn't get touched by food that I don't eat but it seems to make them so mad. I am just going to have to keep the skillet in my room I think just so that I can keep the peace in our household.
@babyjesus (277)
•
1 Sep 09
Well since i have one kitchen for everybody and i want myself, my helpers and even my kids to learn cooking and to learn to use the kitchen and other tools well, i share everything in the kitchen with a rule to keep everything in order and to use them properly and with care. We can't really avoid careless or insensitive people but i don't want anybody to deprive themselves to use things in the kitchen. However, if in case there are cookware or things which i don't want them to use, i tell them and they won't use them. Since its your skillet, you have the right to lend them or not.
1 person likes this
@coolcoder (2018)
• United States
30 Aug 09
You sound exactly like my dad. He's got his own heavyweight skillet, and woe to the person who dares to cook in it. I've never understood what the big deal was--it's only a skillet, after all--but whatever floats the boat, I suppose.
1 person likes this
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I know, it probably doesn't make much sense but its about more than just the skillet I think. It's also about respecting other people's property and this skillet is one that I won in a contest so it is actually sort of special to me, even if it is just a skillet.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I would assume they want you to put it there because that way you will not be asking them all the time if they are using it. I would just store it somewhere else in the kitchen, away from the other cookware.
@danishcanadian (28955)
• Canada
4 Sep 09
Actually as far as I am concerned, the bedroom idea is not a bad one at all. If they hate your skillet, they're less likely to touch it, or use it. Also, if it's in your bedroom, it won't be out in a public area, so again they will be less tempted to use it. It's the kind of thing I'd do if I lived with other people and didn't want them touching my stuff.
It's just like my husband and I. "if it's in my bank account, it's my money!" LOL We're responsible for agreed expenses in the household, and we pay them, but we have our own separate bank accounts.
So since your house does not have separate kitchens, and the majority of the people don't seem interested in respecting your property, keeping it in your bedroom, might just be the thing to do. It's what I'd do.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Maybe because they don't trust themselves not to use it if it is left in the kitchen.
When I lived with my in-laws my mother-in-law had a special pan that she didn't want anyone, but her, to use. That was fine with me. I don't like cooking anyway! LOL
Happy mylotting!
@seanbryan (349)
• United Arab Emirates
31 Aug 09
Hi horsesrule!
Yes, better keep the skillet in your room to leave it untouched except by you. But the fact that you are their mother they should respect your rule not to use your skillet. You have all the reason to keep it your private thing as you said you don't eat pork and they are fond of bacons that they cook in there, they must respect you for that and use some other skillet for such. Good Day!
@celestialbloom (204)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I completely understand your desire for them to keep their hands off your skillet! I don't think you are being selfish at all. You might feel differently if they took better care of the other cookware in the house and would respect your wishes concerning cooking pork in it. When I was younger and living in my parents' house, I would always have a "no touch" rule on a lot of my clothes, because my sister would borrow without asking and then ruin my stuff (by, say, dropping a chilli dog on it or something like that).
Same thing in college. Kitchens were community areas in the dorms, and we were allowed to keep our dishes and food in there. We had an "honor code" that was supposed to prevent folks from using/stealing/destroying/eating your stuff, but I learned really quickly that it was best to keep everything in my room. On the rare occassions that I did leave things in the kitchen unattended, something always happened - food was eaten, dishes stolen, coffee pot used and left on all day to form this brick-like substance out of the burned coffee. And did I mention I was at a women's college? Hehe, 30 young women sharing a kitchen (and bathroom, living room, etc) is just asking for trouble!