Asking for MY Money
By klaudine
@klaudine (3650)
Indonesia
August 31, 2009 3:53am CST
You know, when you lend your money to someone close to you, your partner or your lover, or maybe your bestfriend, it would be a bit uneasy to ask for your money back. I don't know the good way to do that without hurting someone's feeling.
The problem now is that someone I used to respect, my partner's parents. They hold my money about $300 for now and I don't know how to ask for the money since they really had bad impressions about me. But that's my money and I earned it myself.
I also don't want to hurt my partner's feeling because she was working so hard for me and live with me without the help of her parents. I really confused about this since for me $300 is not a small amount of money.
If you're in my position what would you do?
4 responses
@cambiste (1244)
• India
31 Aug 09
I'm in the same boat as you. A dear friend of mine online has yet to return $300 i lent him. I've already forgiven and forgotten about it though. It was the first time i earned online as well, but i dont have the heart to demand it (or even ask for it) back.
If you feel the need for the money, you should ask for it back, for surely, if a long time passes, they will not remember about it.
If you don't have any urgent need for it, you should forget about it and consider you gave it for charity.
This way of thinking has solved a lot of money problems for me. However, if people can't remember to pay me back (small or big amount), i never lend them any more money again.
Till now, i haven't asked my friend to pay me back directly. However, i have not lent him any more money. $300 is a big issue for me as well since it Rs 15,000 if i can get it back and cashed out off my paypal.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
Yes, cambiste. I need the money but now the relationship between me and the person is not really well. i don't want to talk to her in any way, and it seems there's no good willing from the other party to give me my money back. I don't know how about that in another country, but here, people with personal debt like her is such a disgrace. For god sake, she's working and she earns her own money. She's older than me and for god sake, please give me back my money, I am just a college student. LOL.
I don't know, but for me, people who wouldn't pay their debt is not respectable.
Of course, just like you, i wouldn't lend her any money. 300 bucks is about Rp 3,000,000 in my currency rate. I can buy a new phone with that.
@cambiste (1244)
• India
10 Sep 09
Its disgraceful to not return the money. That's why the proverb "Neither a lender, nor a borrower be" was created perhaps.
Why not ask your friend to remind her mother about the $300? Usually, people would try to get the matter settled if it involves their family. If you don't want to, you'll just have to muster enough courage to ask for the money back in person, im afraid.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 09
Well, as what I have said before, it is a bit embarrassing to ask back what I have lend to other. I mean, if they have the same dignity to me, they would have return my money back. It seems that they don't have it.
I don't want to involve my friend in this matter. It was between me and her parents, and I don't think it is wise to put our friendship at stake when it wasn't her fault at all.
All I can do now is think from the bright side, that I could still earn what I have lost. I am starting to be really serious in MMO and I hope I would make enough money to support myself. I just hope they have the goodwill to return the money.
@charlies2805 (777)
•
11 Sep 09
Yes, I agree with you. Especially when it's our closest friend, it's very very hard to request our money back. Beside, the money IS our money and especially if you are in a need of it. You wrote that you had lent your partner's parents and they had bad impressions about you ??? But, I do not want to ask it furthermore, the rest is your privacy. If I were you, I will try to ask your partner (first, your partner) about the 300$ which her parents had lended from you. Maybe she can give you wise suggestions.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 09
It is not her problem and I don't want to get her involved. I don't want her to feel guilty to any of us, me and her parents. I just hope that the parents would have a goodwill to return my money back.
Indeed, I am in the need of money, but now things are not that bad anymore. I can survive for now without that money. Maybe I would just letting it go. Some people said when you let go of something, you would get something better in future. Maybe I would be able to earn even more in MMO?
@charlies2805 (777)
•
12 Sep 09
I know that it's not her problem and you will try your best not to getting her involved, but however the lender is her parents. I believe she will know whether her parents pay you back or not without you yourself tell her. But I agree with you, maybe you can take that 300$ as a 'donation' =). And you already confirmed that you can live even if without getting back that 300$. Keep on moving on!!!
BTW, gw kirim lu message lohhh... Hehehehehe... Kalo ada waktu bales yaaa...
@adhyz82 (36249)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 09
i think it`s so dilematic. i had ever use a same experience with you (not a similar but near similar). i think the best key or solution is every person is understanding each other. you understand his/her suffer but he/she understand that you need the money now. and the second for solution is make a good communication and avoid a missunderstanding conversation.
@klaudine (3650)
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
That's right. I wonder if I could get the money back without having to ask anything to her. I mean, she owe me something, I just want to see the goodwill that she would pay me in return. For God sake I don't need the interest of the money, I just want the money back since it is a big amount for me.
Just like you, I don't feel comfortable and embarrassed to ask the money, though I know that it is my money and it is my right to get them back since I earn it my own.
