Do You Know What A Self Fulfilling Prophecy Is?

Hi Karen, my previous therapist said to me that I should write down one thing positive about myself each day for a month, so after a month I would have 30/31 positive attributes about myself to focus on. I think I did three days and gave up. Negativity kept invading my thoughts. I seem to soak up negative thoughts and anything positive fades into insignificance or bounces off like a trampoline.

Thank you my friend I might just do that ;0)

Hm, you could start over and get very specific...for instance, name every good thing you have ever done for yourself or another, and hopefully that will lead you to discover the positives in yourself....all 30/31 of them LOL. Did you bathe today? Then you practice cleanliness. Did you buy someone a birthday card or gift recently? Then you are generous, thoughtful of others. Do you remember to keep appointments? Then...you have a good memory. You write well here, so you are educated or good with words...you get the idea. Good luck and do give it another try.

Wow, you seem to have hit the nail on the head dear friend. When we get disappointment after disappointment after disappointment we come to expect them, yeah, bring them on! What is the point in hoping for something good to happen, when we know yet another disappointment is going to come along time after time, so we give up in actual fact or just expect disappointment, in a way we are not disappointed, because when we expect a disappointment and get a disappointment then we say well I told you so! Even when it turns into a success, we are disappointed because we wanted to prove to ourselves and others that we were right and that disappointments happen every time, kinds of screws up our thinking when that doesn't happen. Sorry does that make sense?

It certainly does make sense...when something does work, you usually hear things like "see, you just got to believe in him...or believe in yourself"..it will be okay...HA! Then we either humbly say, "Yeah, I know", or we can say "Wait a few months - then tell me I told you so", because we are so sure that it's going to fail again. And maybe if we weren't so pessimistic, it wouldn't fail...but we are so sure it's going to that we can't even be happy when it seems to be going to good. And maybe it IS the pessimism that does make it fail. Let me give you an example of what my son and I just went thru...He wanted to move out and live on his own...I didn't blame him..who wants to live with a parent forever. But when I heard where he wanted to live - about 4 miles from my house, in a 2 1/2 room apt,I was so discouraged and I thought of all the negatives behind it: he does haven't a car, therefore how is he going to get around; how can a person with ADD, Bipola, and all that other garbarge going to survive in a 2 1/2 room apt, when the walls are going to appear like they are closing in on him; with a social disorder, how is he going to stay in his apt. 24-7, and talk to no one - how can that be healthy for him. At least, when he lived with me, he had me to talk to." Those are things that went running around my head. Then he was told that the apt only had one window in each room (My God! the room is closing in already!), and that it really was only 2 rooms and not 2/12 (Great! - it keeps sounding good - YEAH, right!) But he proceeded to move in - the first time we looked at the apt...I was shocked, it wasn't just 2 rooms, it was almost 3, in the way that it was made. It had 3 windows in the living room, and 2 in the Bedroom, so I don't know why they seemed to think there was only 1. I was ecstatic! My response to that was..."okay, whoever is listening to me up there, you are proving me wrong...Please keep proving me wrong!" And when people asked me how he liked his apt...my answer was "Fine, now, but ask me again in a few months..things will probably change...unless someone up there continues to prove me wrong." Well, guess what, that was 4 months ago, and my son is moving back home...he can't handle living there..because he feels completely isolated from everyone, and me. He actually got worse while he was there. Soooooooooo...am I surprized...nope! Is he and I dissappointed...YUP! What's the next step? You got me...I have no idea!

Arrwyn: Your story is miracle...I am so happy for you that things turned out the way they did. I just have to make my son also see what you are saying, and try not to give up...he has been struggling like this for 23 years. Some of it I am sure is his own doing..because he just gets sick of the same results. So I am willing to try all kinds of things...but I'm not sure if he has any fight left in HIM. Additionally, mental illness is a tuff thing to cure...it is always trial by error when trying different meds....and it seems you have to take them for a couple of months before they actually work...so it is a lengthy process. I thank you very much for the response...you have given me back some hope, and encouragement...I just hope that he finds encouragement in your response as well and is willing to try it again. Bless you!

I would never push you away Princess, you know that. But I do find it so different being online and making friends and dealing with people than offline. You wouldn't recognize the same person, I guess most of my friends wouldn't recognize me, although my picture on the avatar is definitely me, I guess it's a different person online to offline. I have more confidence and I make friends easily online, I just wish that could be true offline too. But you are right, and I am getting help Princess, it's just a long road for me at the moment. Huggles xxxx

These books are different! Youll see what i mean.

Hi sis you are right! Negativity indeeds breeds negativity, so what you mirror is reflected back and forgive the cliches. Plus it's all about karma as well isn't it, negativity can be construed as bad karma so whatever you give out you just know that bad karma is coming back at you. It's like a vicious circle, hence the self fulfilling prophecy, it's trying to break that cycle is the key and I need to be strong enough and capable enough to do it! Huggles from your bro Wolfie xxx

true

that was for the type error

I guess it's also a defence mechanism kicking in. Everyone to me is a potential bully or in your case a potential abuser it's because what has happened to us in a past. We don't allow ourselves to be put into that situation where we are bullied or abused so we pull the shutters down so to speak on everyone. Thanks dear friend I hope you've had a good day.

Breaking the pattern is not easy, it's being able to take out the negativity aspect which is obviously the key that governs SFP.

Sometimes it can be a vicious circle, sometimes it's just another protective layer that we wear that subconciously protects ourselves.

A little of both...

Hello my friend, yes I guess the same goes for karma as for negativity, you send out bad karma to people then you will receive bad karma back, it's learning how to break the cycle and of course being strong enough to do so. I do believe I have missed a great deal of opportunities in my life but I put that down to being stubborn as well.

Yes I understand where you are coming from, thank you for your valid response, appreciated.

You are so right, we are sabotaging our efforts before we have given ourselves a chance, thank you my friend, appreciate your thoughts on this topic.