Hi ........

Qatar
September 2, 2009 5:21pm CST
hi everybody this is a poem i have wrote lately please read it and say what do you think? it called look inside. No; look inside though there is a heart feelings no creature tried to touch look inside cauz never my appearance as my heart look inside so you couldn't be fooled by my eyes look inside there is nothing that my eyes want to say as my heart look inside my tongue may have speakable words but my heart have the UN look inside; I'm pale yah but my heart has the color of passionate fruit look inside cauz my appearance may be hideous but not my heart.
2 responses
becky01
@becky01 (81)
•
3 Sep 09
I quite like it, the repetition of "look inside" works well although I can't say I am too keen on the spelling of "cauz" and "yah", call me traditional but I don't like slang. I'm no poet, but I think it's good.
November21
@November21 (385)
• Qatar
4 Sep 09
Thanks Becky01 mmm I might miss something its a typo lol .
0livejuice
@0livejuice (48)
• United States
3 Sep 09
Is English your native language?
November21
@November21 (385)
• Qatar
4 Sep 09
No, but i speak native. Actually my mother language is Arabic