Tensions of Having different religions with my partner.

@laydee (12798)
Philippines
September 4, 2009 6:13am CST
My boyfriend and I have different religions, though it hasn't played a huge part on our relationship (in terms of stress), I'm quite starting to feel it right now. He's in another country just very recently. He's still adjusting (both of us are) and I find that we have less and less time for communication (he's tired when he gets home, and I too at times). Like tonight, we've been having lesser time this week due to the hectic time in his work, and now I get a message from him through SMS saying he'd be home a little later than usual because he's going to attend their caregroup session in their religion. I don't really have problems with religious stuff but these caregroup sessions are just mingling sessions and I know I'd sound selfish when I'd say "Why does he need to mingle with these people if we don't have time for ourselves??" In reality, I think I'm more of worrying about him finding someone better or more interesting than me rather than the religion itself. But I guess it's out of my control really. Do you ever feel that there are tensions with your relationship with someone because of religion?
2 people like this
4 responses
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
That's really bad.I had a Girlfriend who is an INC. and she even proposed changing her religion just to be with me but i disagreed because she needs to be firm with her faith and religion. that really hurt me because she was a very nice and understanding and loving person.. I wish that one day, there would be a law that would allow Civil Marriages even though their religions are different. but then again, if it becomes a possibility, there goes another issue with the In-Laws.....
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
Hmm... Doesn't Civil Marriage already have a ruling about not caring what religion the couple is??
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
honestly, i don't know..I just thought it's the cheapest than Church wedding...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
4 Sep 09
I've never really experienced it but I have heard of it happening. I think in your case it is as you said...not so much the religion itself but the fact that it is cutting into your time together when you already have little time. I think if it were me, I'd have a talk with him. I don't know as I'd bring up the fact that the caregroup was the problem but rather just tell him that you miss him and feel that you need more time together as a couple.
• United States
4 Sep 09
I think it is hard but I think if you say you accept his religion, then sometimes he will go to meetings.I don't think this is putting them before you, but if it becomes that you feel it is - that he never listens to you but will do anything for them, then he needs a talking to! Do you have a particular faith yourself? I am a Christian and my husband is, but we have difference even in how we agree on some things within our common faith. Relationships in general are hard work, mind you...lol
• Philippines
4 Sep 09
i have the same religion with my late husband. i don't think that religion should be a problem in any relationship. a good relationship is one where the partners take and give with each other. it is a matter of patience and understanding. i guess u also have time alone with ur own religion and i guess he understood that, too. it is just a matter of working out things. try it. incidentally, my officemate and her husband have different religions ... and they are in a very good relationship. so, if they can do it, u too can!