Should I tell my friend about this?
By clorissa123
@clorissa123 (4926)
United States
September 4, 2009 11:49pm CST
I saw my close friend's girlfriend went to a club with another guy the other day, I just wonder how close they are. I was in the club with other friends of mine that night, and she was with this guy dancing on the floor, and later they pick up some drinks from the bar. I am in such a dilemma should I tell my friend about this or not? I don't want to break his heart, and I don't want to involve in this too. Should I tell my friend or not? If he found out, I hope that he should move on. What do you think?
22 responses
@bigmal12 (57)
• United States
5 Sep 09
i definitely think you should tell your friend. he has a right to know. I mean if that's your friend, you would think he would do the same for you, so why not for it for him this time? You wouldn't want him to keep this information away from you, so why keep it from him? Also when people are wrong, they should be faced with the consequences, so don't worry about getting involved. They should have never did it. And telling him, would probably make you guys into better friends, because he feels that, you have his back, no matter what.
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I had no problem to back him up, nonetheless, he is my closest friend. I just couldn't see him sad after he found out. I hate women do such thing you know. If she doesn't love him anymore, just tell him in front of his face or have a little chat. At least he won't feel worse to find out the ugly truth.
•
5 Sep 09
well to be honest i had a friend in this situation but if you tell your friend you would split their relationship up, your friend might regret you ever telling him about his girlfriend being close to someone else. also how do you know if the guy she was with wasn't a relative or a family member. why don't you discuss this with the first and see exactly what is what before saying anything else that might upset the applecart. just a suggestion. god bless.
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I hope that what you said is right. She was going out with someone close to her family like a cousin or relative something like that. What If I am wrong, what if..... I really don't know, too many scenarios running over my head.
@anne12d (676)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
Do what you think is the best. If you want to tell your friend about what you saw, for sure your friend needs proof beacuse your friend wouldn't believe you. And if you dont want to tell your friend that's your decision but make sure you can handle your conscience because it might hunt you for not saying it... Either way you are involved. If you tell you are really involve but if you not tell, your conscience might hunt you...
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@anne12d (676)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
Have you decided what is the best thing to do?! Before you tell him, pray first that you can tell him nicely (although its really not nice), that he could handle what news you have for him. And be strong for your friend because he reaaly needs someone to rely on.
Goodluck!
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I will find a best moment to have this conversation with him. I hope that he could handle this truth. LiFE IS always complicated in situation like that. I have to done many thinking and planning, what is best for him, and what is the best decision to make.
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@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
5 Sep 09
How close between you and your friend? if you both are really close then you can ask your friend about his relationship between him and his girlfriend. If he opens for you then you can open a little for him too. If he just dont say anything, then you are better not say anything back to him.
sometimes his relationship is complicate to understand... she might try to date someone else to get some fresh air or she wants to give herself a little time about this.
who know, you should show up when you see her. just to see how she reacts
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I really don't know what is going on. MAYBE you are right about this. That is their relationship, and I really don't understand what is going on. But if I am right, my friend just end up hurting. I should talk to him about it.
@20021114476 (691)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
I once heard that in this kind of situation, it is best not to get involved. Thinking of it, I am somewhat torn in between. I also like to tell a friend if that situation arises to me too. However, by doing so, am I making it worse to them or it is fine to do so? What if we are judging it in a shallow way? In your presented scenario, there is no further contact like kissing so I wonder if they are just friends on a reunion or so.
@sunxiaoyang010 (169)
• China
6 Sep 09
Hi,I agree with you to some degree,may be they are just old friends,if the anthor told his friend about this,there will be a misunderstand which is harmfull to the affection of his friend and the girl.this will make the author feel sorry and regret at this.
@cyberjaze (106)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
You definitely should tell your friend about it. But make it sure first that there something between the guy and the girl. Case maybe, the girl needs someone to accompany her but her boyfriend was too busy to do so, so she resorted to someone else.Just tell your friend with care. Tell exactly what you saw and don't give malicious comment. Just let him do the rest.
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Maybe I should say, was you too busy to with your girlfriend these days. or how often were you with her? I might need to ask with caution, otherwise, he might be upset too.
@olivemom (21)
• United States
6 Sep 09
You would have to make that decision for yourself. If you were in your friend's position, think about whether YOU would want your friend to tell you what is going on. Personally, anything that can hurt my friend, she/he has a right to know about to spare him/her of any further heartache or embarassment.
@clorissa123 (4926)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I felt like that I should leave it out, and let him to ask her personally. I just couldn't see my friend hurt. It was too much for him eventually.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
You should tell your friend about her girlfriend
dating another man. Dating or not, your friend must know.
He has all the right because they had a relationship and it
is all wrong when she do that with out telling his boyfriend
about it.![](/Content/images/emotes/angry.gif)
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@happy6162 (3001)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I think you should not say anything to him right now. You need to fine out more about who the guy she was with before you say anything to your friend. Who knows maybe your friend already knows his girlfriends was out at the club with friends. Maybe your friend was at the club but you did not see him and she was just dancing with a friend of theirs. Until you fine out more about what was really going on you need to just stay on the side line.
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
6 Sep 09
I think you should probably leave it alone. Chances are he already knows what she's up, if he doesn't he'll find out soon. In the mean time he's going to need a friend to help him through. I'd just let him find out on his own, or she'll accuse you of orchestrating the situation. You'll loose your friend forever.
@freakme6582 (52)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
Tell him. I don't see anything wrong with it. If the other party is not guilty of two-timing your friend then it shouldn't be a big deal. Just tell your friend that you saw her gf out on the same club with someone.
I'm sure you would want your friend to do the same if you were in his position.
@dream12462 (44)
• China
6 Sep 09
i strong suggest that you tell your close friend,maybe he will beak his heart,but mental injury is better than being his girlfriend cheating,do you agree? and if you dont tell the truth,i think you are like his girlfriend,you are cheating him too,it will be more painful.on the other hand ,maybe there is nothing relations between his girlfriend and the guy.
@jross19871 (239)
• United States
6 Sep 09
It can not hurt to bring it up and let your friend know you saw his gf at a club with someone else. It may turn out to be nothing and you are reading far too into it. But, it may turn out that you uncovered a can of worms and are bringing your friend up to speed on what is going on. Either way, you are doing what a good friend should do...tell the truth to friends.
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I would ask him " Where were you the other night. I saw (her name) at the club but didn't see you. That way he knows she was there with out you accussing her of anything but he will start asking her questions and hopefuly will find out on his own.
@ladyhope (377)
• Canada
5 Sep 09
This is a tricky situation. I think that before you tell your friend, you should give the girlfriend the benefit of the doubt and ask her about it. If what she says doesn't jive or if you think she is lying to you, thats when you should think about going to your friend.
You do have to be prepared though, because your friend might not take it well and it might cause problems between you. (If you are close friends, this should not happen.)
@marctiu (829)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
I think that you should keep this as a secret first. Try to gather more information on that girl and the guy she was with. Maybe you just misunderstood and maybe it was her long lost friend or cousin perhaps. I believe you should investigate first if you are really trying to help out your friend. Maybe your friend knows about this the whole time. Try to ask.
But for me. I don't think I like to interrupt in such situations. I don't want to be involve. The guy would appreciate it if you go involve, but the girl might not. So, much better if you keep it to yourself and wait how their relationship would end. Not all secrets can be kept forever you know.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
why not try to tell your friend anonymously.give him some hint of what his girlfriend is doing behind his back.maybe by that, you have done your share and leave your friend discover for himself how his girlfriend cheating on him.and you have been loyal and extend your concern to your friend even without directly involving yourself to their problem.
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
i would be brave enough to tell my friend about it, just the facts and without additional comments or exaggeration. it is up for him how to take the news then.
@hunterh (18)
• Australia
5 Sep 09
If they have been going out for a long time then you should definitely tell your friend but if they are only casual and have only just started dating then you should let it run its course because you saw her do nothing and telling him may be silly because she could have been there with a friend and you telling your friend will start all kinds of drama. You should have simply gone up to her yourself that evening and asked her straight forward blunt honesty always goes best.
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