Is it really OK for my just widowed mom to be on the lookout for love again?

Hello Tamark, There is nothing wrong with wanting a partner in life after loosing another. My mother is 58 years old right now and I lost my dad (her husband) 6 years ago. I want her to find someone. I am 36 years old and if I was to get married, she would really feel alone, since we are so close and go everywhere and do everything together. It's not good to be alone in life, even at 70. Just be there for her and try to understand where she is coming from. She probably feels alone, after having someone next to her for so long. Have a wonderful and blessed weekend my friend Happy MyLotting Olivia~

I'm going to have to agree with alot of others on this subject. I feel like your mother really does need to find someone else. You say you love your mother, therefore let your mother love again. Your father is gone. Nothing can change that. That dont mean she needs to live alone for these further years. Let her move on, she needs love too...

Truthfully people aren't meant to be alone.....she should be out looking for someone but she also needs to be careful.....so that she doesn't fall for someone who will just use her! But there's nothing wrong with finding someone later in life....love is meant to be shared!

Hi tamark. Let your mother search for her love if she feels that she needs someone special to be with her. Considering that she is already that old it would be better if she does things that would make her happy for her remaining years. I understand very well that you are worried about her getting hurt but you can assure her that you will always be there for her. It is better to talk about this with your mom, that way she will always be open to you about her relationship. Thus, you can always still protect her from getting hurt by sharing each other's views on relationships and always being there when she needs you. I sincerely wish her all the best and lots of love and happiness.

That really a hard to deal my friend. Because we all know that old people is easy to hurt and feel pain if they heard something even do this is not to disappoint them. Just talk to your mother. That is she really want to have a companion in life again. Try to understand her and should be her partner the same as her age... And I don't think that age is good enough to have another partner do something weird? She should be stay single for not being experience pain in life...have a nice day!

It has been three years and life is going on around her. She needs to be able to find another love and be a part of life again. I have heard that if you really had a marriage the first time around that you are more likely to go out and look for it again. Your Father will always be close to her heart but I am sure she doesn't want to be alone the rest of her life. Please be happy for her because I know if you 2 are close she will need you to understand!

Dear Tamark, I have to agree with a lot of people who responded. Your mother is an adult 70 years old (my age) and fully capable of making her own decisions. It has been 3 years since the love of her life left her forever and she is entitled to new happiness. In fact statistics show if people were very happy in their marriages they are more likely to marry again after their spouses die. I know you love your mother and don't want to see her hurt, but with all due respect you do not have nor should you "deal with this matter".

Why dont you bring up the subject? Or just mention to her that maybe she would like to get out and met people. This may lead to her telling you what has been going on. I understand your concern with her secrecy, that is when bad things are more likely to happen. Just be very open and supportive.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost mine when I was 13 years old. Mom moved on quickly also and it was devastating. I guess some people jst do not want to live life alone.

It's great that you are concerned for your mother, but remember she is your mother. She is entitled to move on and find happiness again. Also, 70 is not an age to stop dating. If she's still full of life let her enjoy it to the fullest. She was blessed to have your father for many years, and she feels she is ready to date. She mourned and respected your father for three years. It is only up to her to know when she is ready to move forth. That is not your decision. Be happy for her, support her, and be there for her. You know, my best friend got to marry the love of her life last year in June. He was a teacher and an associate pastor. Well, when Dec.4th came, she had to place her husband in the ground. A newlywed and widow at the age of 35, in less than a year. Who knows when she'll be ready to move on. But like her husband, I'm sure your father wouldn't want your mother to spend her last days alone. It'll be fine. Just love her and be there for her.

Hi isnt it odd how Mother/child looking after and out for changes over the years! Everyone needs a companion or friend to talk to and maybe go out somewhere with. I really think your Dad would be approving of what she is at last doing after 3 years. I think you will always be your Mums number one but there are some things Mums shy away from talking about with their daughters or sons and that is not because they dont love them but because they do. It sounds to me as if your Mum (and Dad) have done a wonderful job with you and trust and love you so you have got to believe that your Mum will continue to do this and would not bring some undessirable into your family. Why not sit her down and have a parent child talk together so you can tell her what you suspect and she might want the opportunity to tell you things especially as you have brought the subject up in a loving way. My best wishes to you both x

hi, i m a widow too but in my late 40s. Let me just give my own view about my own experience. Though my husband has left me for more than 12 yrs already, I still feel i miss him very much whenever I think of him. It still hurts and to make myself happier again, i resort to cyberworld. In doing so, i feel i m happier again, doing things i like and at the same time, without neglecting my kids. They are all in their teens now, and they r very understanding. Maybe your mum just needs someone to talk to, and she feels comfortable doing that in the cyberworld just like me. It might not lead to anything but if it does, i m sure she is a happier woman. Let her enjoy her years... and at the same time, show her that u stand by her no matter what happens.. this is my view.. no offence.

Age is not a criteria , she is the phase of her age where she needs someone special to be with her listen to her understand her , in a new face may be this is which is knocking u deep down ur head but life goes on , and its all bout being happy and completing ur responsibilities Now she feels lonely again , misses the love and care she used to get from her love thats ur father its not weird but its natural every human does need love and care . if you be more of a friend to ur mom and give her the support she needs , give her a shoulder to rest upon being a son its ur responsibility to help out ur mom and not leave her alone so buddy take care this is life .

She wasn't just "widowed". I am sorry to hear about your loss. She is not getting any younger and I think that she has the right to engage in intimate relationships because she is an adult. It is only normal to have concerns about her getting hurt. Talk to her about this but know that she has the right to date other people. I don't think you should doubt that she loved your father or he was the love of her life. It could just be that she is seeking for some companionship to spend her golden years.

well.. i think its VERY good your mother is actively seeking companion ship.. she is not looking to replace your father.. But i bet she is lonely, and seeking someone to share the rest of her life with.. She is 70, and i'm sure she knows what she's doing.. she's got at least double the life experience you do right ? Would you rather see your mom happy with a companion be that a friend or a boyfriend, or see her sad and upset and miserable ? My grandmother is almost 90, she lost my grandfather over 20 years ago, and he was hospitalized i believe for 10 years prior to his passing. and she NEVER leaves the house except for groceries and once a week when my mom and aunt take her out to dinner. She has lived alone (by her own accords) for all that time and has no intentions of making any friends or anything. she just wants to stay in her home all of the time.. That can't be too much fun doing the same thing for 30 years.. I bet your mother just wants to live a little again.. Good for her, you shold be happy for her as long as she's being careful and taking percautions.. If you are really worried about her, then i'm sure she wouldnt mind talking to you about it would she if you ask ?

hi tamark please dont discourageyour mom three years is plenty longenough to mourn your dad, she probAbly longs for some male'companionship and thats not wrong.a lot of older people now'remarry andshe is due some happiness.she may live for many more years so why not let her be happy. she still loves you And always will.

Hmm... it's definitely a weird situation.. if I'm in your shoes, I wouldn't know what to do or how to react.. though, I think the only thing that matters is that you're mom is happy in her life.. I think that's the only thing that we as children can give our parents for the life they had given us, love and happiness.

She's been a widow for three years, let her date if she wants to. She desrves to be happy. Sheesh.

Hello, tamark,Don't feel confused. it's dutiful for you to show your concerns to your mother.But it's really futile. there is a saying that:it rains when heaven deems it,mother remarries when she wants to,so let it be" you have no choice to interfere your mother's personal affairs.