Run, Fly Or Escape From Your Troubles They'll Soon Catch Up
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
September 5, 2009 2:07pm CST
Have you ever tried to run away from your problems in hope that they'll never catch up with you?
Have you been tempted to walk out of the door one day never to return ever again? Just vanishing must seem tempting to some, when we are faced with no way out, it's too easy to escape and leave everything behind, your abusive partner, money problems, entrapment for example.
Or is it, desperate times indeed mean desperate measures need to be taken and when we have explored all options in our head, the only way out is just to 'escape' but whilst it may not always be the best or easiest option, sometimes it's the only option
But how long before the past has a nasty habit of catching up with us? Those problems we thought we had left behind come back and haunt us? Our partners who try and track us down and want us back selfish reasons or not.
Even if we do successfully escape, we are still the same person, doesn't matter if we get on a plane and jet off halfway across the world, we cannot escape what is inside our heads.
You can run from other people, but sadly you can't run from yourself!
Even if you change your identity, change your name, change your features, plastic surgery you cannot change what's inside, it always remains the same
I have done this, I had no option, it was the right thing to do at the time, I have no regrets. At the time I only had three options open to me, the other two looking back were pretty unspeakable and I chose the right one, fortunately but I was desperate, bl**dy desperate. There was no other way.
Have you ever 'run away' have you ever felt that you just wanted to 'escape'?
How tempting is it to start again, start a new life, even under a new name?
4 people like this
18 responses
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
6 Sep 09
hi wolfie .. that is life dear, we cant run away from problems as you said it will keep hunting you .. you can only ask for "strength" from our dear old freind up there, so that we can face each day and overcome all the troubles ..
actually troublefree life could be boring dear as there is no challenge ... (look who is talking ?? i myself cry when facing troubles/problems)
3 people like this
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
5 Sep 09
Hi Wolfie. Yes, I have escaped...an abusive marriage of many years. While in storage, awaiting the finailization of the divorce, literally 95% of all of my possessions were stolen (uninsured) from where I had stored them.
I have started over, in those senses I mentioned above, and it was a worthwhile endeavor, which brought with it a sense of freedom.
But...the scars remain. I am still "healing" but now see myself as a survivor, no longer a victim.
Those things that appear to follow us are the things we carry "inside" so of course, however fast or far we run, we take them with us.
The one thing I have never lost nor given away is my faith, my inner spirit. The rest will come with time and effort, and I am willing to hang in there for that.
I hope you are, too.
Karen2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
5 Sep 09
Hi Karen, I am so glad you escaped, life is too short to be somewhere where we live in danger for our lives, live in abusive relationship, no matter how abusive. I consider myself much stronger for doing it, it has put me off relationships for life but I know that being single I can be happy, I too am still healing, even after 2 years next month. I do still see myself as a victim but I am getting support, it takes patience I guess and a will to survive.
2 people like this
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Hi Wolfie. But...you ARE a survivor :)) Think about it. But yes, it is a healing "process." We each must go at our own pace, and it makes us "different" forever. But I try to turn that thought into: it's makes me "wiser" forever...things like that help me. At least the nightmares have eased up a lot, and I see that as a positive thing, too.
xoxo
Karen1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
5 Sep 09
I have been tempted but I had a very wise mother who told me you could try and run away from your problems but you could never run away from yourself.
If I'd been in an abusive relationship she would have done everything she could to support me in getting away from it, she hated bullies, but she would also have done all she could to restore my confidence and build a better life.
You need to concentrate on the courses you're taking and build up your faith in yourself.
There I go again, telling you what you already know.
Take care.
2 people like this
@hiddenwing (3719)
• China
5 Sep 09
To be honest, I hate to face degraded guy who haunted around from time to time!
My former classmate just treated me a dinner yesterday! Well, I couldn't help disgusting from the beginning to the end! I really really found it hard to bear it getting through the whole dinner! He kept talking bad words...and drinking and smoking...he even said..."don't mention my mom who is a pain in the as*" The guy was very rich! So, what the hell. Cause for him, richness is just a state of mind! Thus, I yawned again and agin! It was like I got extremely tired and sleepy so that I got an excuse to let it go!
Evil people are bad the world over?
Apparently, lots of people are that type! I really really want to run away so that I will never meet them ever again! However, life is messy everywhere! They fence you in, but I will still get disgusting to face any vulgar person!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Sep 09
hiwolfie oh yes on my birthday last year nov.15th I found out that the lAdy friend from theinternet who was all gung ho to put us up in an antioch ca Apartment hadeven signed a note to the management saying she would be responsible for our rent for three months thsn on my birthday she called the manager and told him she diddnt want to do it and to tear ups the agreement. wowe were homeless we were nmearly ou t of money and yes I wanted to run awary any place but you cannot out run trou ble.so finAlly out of despAration I allowed myson to call adult protective services and put me in a sAfe p;lace a retirement home called GoldCrestwhile he was placed in A gov.paid apartment so he hAd a plAce to stay while he and his roomates looked for work.Like
you there was no other choice that was good. we did what we had to do.I am still hoping my son will find a job and we can live togehter agAin in an Apartment. hope hope hope.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
You cling to hope don't you to help you get through, and sometimes it takes a miracle to be able to get out of the mess you are in. In my circumstance I couldn't see a way out I had dug myself a hole, escape was the only option for me, I dread to think what would have happened if I had stayed. I wish you all the best my dear friend.
@ashbelx (92)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
Hi wolfie!
If only I could. I have a daughter and a son to consider. I tried it once though but i can't swallow the fact that they're more affected than I am. Most of the time I face my problems. I have done some things in my life that in our culture are totally a no-no. BUt I faced them all and proved to them that everything changes and people change. That it doesn't matter how bad you are as long as you know and you accept your mistakes. But there are people who are just born judgmental. They never give you the chance to renew. Sometimes because of them I want to go to a place where nobody knows me. Just my children and me. Yet I know you can never escape from your past. Thanks Wolfie for making this post. Having said what I said somehow lightened up my day. Thanks!
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
Firstly a very warm welcome to you to Mylot! I am glad that I have lightened up your day. I find Mylot very therapeutic and being able to be honest and write how I feel I get some great responses, supportive and enjoy listening about how other people survive and their experiences. Take care.
1 person likes this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
6 Sep 09
As a child I would try to escape. I spent many hours sitting in the garden, making daisy chains and being Queen of the Buttercups and Daises in my mind. I relished the thought of having people who liked me. That was my escape, but it didn't work very well. I was always found and I always paid for it.
When I started work, my desire was to leave, to go to the city. I would change my name to Christine Johns and become a different person. I would get a job and become a business executive. No one would ever know who I really was, so I could be different. I planned, but I kept getting promotions at work and I kept putting it off.
Now, more than 50 years later, happily married for that time, I must admit that my first instinct is to ignore something or to run away from it, but I know that isn't the answer and will achieve nothing. If left, it would just fester and worsen. That first instinct doesn't last long and I face whatever it is and settle it. The old adage of never letting the sun go down on your wrath applies to problems too.
"How tempting is it to start again?" No thanks. That WAS my desire long ago, but now I am totally happy with my life the way it is.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
6 Sep 09
hi cloud ...
i remeber those flower chain days, they are so far - so far away in my memory ...
here is a "daisy chain" for you dear
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
All I want from life is freedom and independence, I will never take them for granted again, when you have been trapped like a bird in a cage you long to flap your wings again and fly free away from the shackles of those that want to entrap you, control you and manipulate you.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Sep 09
I've escaped from a brutal husband, a cheating partner and a drunk. They were different people, not the same person....lol. It's always bugged me; I'm a decent person but I have always wondered why my good habits did not rub off onto my partners. In spite of them all vowing they loved me, they treated me like shyte. I deserved so much better but I would love them, believe in them and stay loyal, no matter what until I would realise I was being dragged down to their level...then I would run for my life and my sanity.
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
hello wolfie,
in my own opinion, i think the best thing to solve a problem is to face them and try to figure out what is the best solution for it. for i believe in every problem there is always a solution. have not escape or run any problem so far and i'm so thankful for that. i prayed really hard to seek the guidance of HIM. even ask the opinion of my parents if it is necessary aside from my wife.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
A lot of times i do. But as i grow older
everyday I realized that escaping away from your problems
will make matter worst. It's better to face it, find the right solution
and get over with it as soon as possible.
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
7 Sep 09
Hey there wolfie34
I sure have run away, quite literally as you know, from a very big problem and yes he did catch up with me, or rather his solicitor did when a letter addresses to me arrived in the PO box of the refuge hahaha 
The problem will always be there as he is my children's father. We have a lovely new life now and my kids lead a more normal and healthy life for it. Things are quiet in that area right now, which is the way I like it but I dare say something will be looming around some corner, like a divorce or something!
The problem will always be there as he is my children's father. We have a lovely new life now and my kids lead a more normal and healthy life for it. Things are quiet in that area right now, which is the way I like it but I dare say something will be looming around some corner, like a divorce or something!@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
7 Sep 09
But at least with divorce is a 'closure' and that is the best possible conclusion I feel personally and maybe if I had a proper 'closure' with my ex, they wouldn't still be hounding me through emails. But that is the price I have to pay for what I did, but I had no other way at the time and if it means just a few emails here and there, then so what. Mind you I have moved on, whereas my ex still wants me back. If only they knew where I was! I started off with anger and hatred, it moved to pity and now I feel nothing at all, so at least I am heading towards the right direction whereas they have never moved. It's become an obsession.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
7 Sep 09
I understand what you say about closure and the divorce is actually something that is being worked on at the moment but it is very complicated and I could already be divorced 
. Even if the divorce get sorted he is still the boys father so there will always be a connection but he is not in their life at the moment so it is not an issue right now but might be in the future!!
. Even if the divorce get sorted he is still the boys father so there will always be a connection but he is not in their life at the moment so it is not an issue right now but might be in the future!!
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
6 Sep 09
The best thing to do is stay put and face problems as you do indeed take them with you.If it is a bully or something like that you could move and you would not have to cope with that sort of problem anymore,but on the whole you have to shake your problems off where you are,then move on if you still want to,chances are you won't.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
My ex was a bully a nasty aggressive bully and I seem to attract them, trouble is I turned into something I didn't like, I am still reaping what I sowed, and I have the scars, I am moving on slowly and I am finding inner strengths that I never knew I hate, the fighting instinct. I didn't have the energy then to fight, the depression was eating away at me. But I don't regret what I did, I am just living with the legacy of what I left behind, the demons mainly but as each day moves on I get stronger and they get weaker.
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Hello wolfie34
Well I have run away one time if thats what I can call it, it was in my best interest so I have no regrets, I want to run again really sucks seems like I am always running and you are so right running away does not change the person you are so in time you may be faced with the same issues over/over because you tend to make the same mistakes in my case I am too good to people and they take me for granted and I get really annoyed and want to leave them just so they can see how things will be without me, I know what I need and that is to move some where have my own space and not have to take care of anyone but myself, this way I wont have to worry about people mistreating me or being ungrateful for having me in their life
One day this will be possible and only then I know I will have some piece.
Well I have run away one time if thats what I can call it, it was in my best interest so I have no regrets, I want to run again really sucks seems like I am always running and you are so right running away does not change the person you are so in time you may be faced with the same issues over/over because you tend to make the same mistakes in my case I am too good to people and they take me for granted and I get really annoyed and want to leave them just so they can see how things will be without me, I know what I need and that is to move some where have my own space and not have to take care of anyone but myself, this way I wont have to worry about people mistreating me or being ungrateful for having me in their life
One day this will be possible and only then I know I will have some piece.@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
I am looking forward to the day where I can have my own place, where I can live alone, independence, freedom, privacy and when I shut the door I shut the world out. That is my dream. I am not a people person, I don't need people around me. Life is simpler and happier without them.
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Hello wolfie34
Well I like the way you said that, better coming from you then me 
shhhhh, its really hard when you don't have people that appreciate you and I really go out of my way for my family and all they do is complain like I have to do these things, once I am away lol I could only imagine how things willl change but then it will be too late 
Well I like the way you said that, better coming from you then me shhhhh, its really hard when you don't have people that appreciate you and I really go out of my way for my family and all they do is complain like I have to do these things, once I am away lol I could only imagine how things willl change but then it will be too late 
@derek_a (10873)
•
6 Sep 09
During my life, there have been times when I just wanted to run away from my problems, but yes, as your title suggest they'll catch up with you.
When I was young, I removed myself from my home environment when a relationship broke up and everything seemed to be going wrong. I was a pro. musician then so I could go anywhere in the country where there was work as I was freelance. I put 250 miles between me and my home town to "start again". But I was soon back to feeling lost and pining to go home again, but I had burned my bridges good and proper. I was up in the North of England for 12 years, and had to face my problems in the end anyway and it was up there that I first became interested in human potential development because of a chance meeting with a woman who became my new partner.
I can't help but notice there is a pattern here. I had my original problems and ran away. I felt like a failure at the time, but if I hadn't run away, I probably wouldn't have ended up becoming a therapist myself but would have struggled on in the music business.
This is why I tend to feel these days, that these painful events are life lessons. I would also hypothesise that if we can just listen to our own inner self, they needn't become so painful. But it would demand a higher state of awareness, something which I did not have before I started meditating and exploring my own inner potential. - Derek
- Derek@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
6 Sep 09
Thank you Derek for sharing your experience, I do hope that when I have my meditation course that it will work for and help me. My therapist is also helping me to deal with my past and my demons that I carry around with me on a day to day basis. I need to start loving myself for who I am and accepting the way I am, I need to be able to do that before I can move on. I have the inner strength, but it's buried, buried beneath a lot of turmoil, scars, hurts and bad experiences, I'm digging away!
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10873)
•
6 Sep 09
Yes, we need to learn to love ourselves before moving on, and we usually have to get the experience that we "forgive" ourselves for imagined wrong-doing and this means we can then let go of the unconscious guilt that we have taken on board during our life.
Sometimes in zazen, something may come into consciousness and I will feel a trace of impatience with myself that then may turn into a self-loathing and a "wish" for some sort of punishment. This is guilt how it forms in the subconscious and because it is not subject to our reasoning power, it continues to work below the level of awareness. When it occurs, I usual ask myself what I need to forgive myself for and then start focusing on breathing into the feeling (which often manifests as a physical sensation that is associated with past punishment from teachers/parents etc.) I can then usually transcend the feeling and forgive myself. Once the roots come up, this is quite easy, because it is generally decades old and no longer applicable to my present-day self.
There is another way that some people find very good and that is visualization of the Violet flame. Here's a link that explains more. I don't give this to foster a belief in anything religious or supernatural, but the subconscious mind can respond quite positively to such visualization. http://thevioletflame.tripod.com/
Zen says that all paths lead to our ultimate enlightenment and the conflicts in life are there on our own particular path. -Derek
-Derek @EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
20 Sep 09
Hello,
Yea at times I also want to run away, and just escape from all my troubles. It would be quite nice to start again, a nice perfect life. Many people want to escape somewhere, where you will never look back. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@hsofyan (3446)
• Jakarta, Indonesia
5 Sep 09
Yes, I have that experience. Leaving the problem, which there is no way out. This is about my relationship with my friend.
@ptty55 (45)
• Canada
21 Sep 09
I have never escaped...but I have thought about it many times. On those days that life becomes just too hard, I often threaten to walk out the door. I don't know if I have the nerve to actually do it. As a daydream, it seems like a great idea. Run away, change my name and start over. In the light of day, it does not seem like the best solution to the problems in my life. I guess I will have to stay and be happy with who I am.
