What do you feel if?

I would not feel bad about that, If i were to die before my husband, I would want him to be happy with the rest of his life. That does not mean that i will ever be forgotten by him. Why would you spend your days being unhappy about something that may not even happen, he might go before you.

That is the nature men. They are born hunters. Even while fully married they flirt around with other women. You can't do much about it but just to swallow the pain and tell him that you'll look down from heaven on every action he does. Don't torture yourself with his sayings as it might affect your health and that would encourage him to womanize. Taking care of yourself is the most important thing. His desire for outside flings is curtailed if he sees his wife growing beautiful everyday.

Your husband was being honest but what a horrible thing he said to you my friend. You are alive and I hope that you life is happy. You hopefully have many many years of life left. I hope that your husband learns to be more thoughtful and doesn't hurt your feelings again.

Personally, I wouldn't be at all bothered as I wouldn't be around to know and would like to think he could still be happy without me. I dont think its a good thing to dwell on because, if you carry this hurt with you, you're not going to enjoy your life with him as much as you should. Hopefully you have many happy years ahead of you and it would be so sad to let this thought spoil them.

Hello rainmark I would be mad at first then I would get over it, you are here now who cares what happens after you are gone that may sound cruel but its true do you have children you are worried about? if not hey he was honest maybe he needs a woman in his life to take care of him, I don't see why you are carrying this around not to mention he may go before you have you thought about that, I am sure he didn't think about this either, does he know how much this is bothering you, talk to him tell him how you feel then let it go.

yes.you re human so its normal to be wounded with such kind of statement.but better you knew it so when time comes that you will know you are gonna die the next day(God forbid) you can already figure out what to do on your last hours.for me if i'm going to die before my husband,i will settle all the financial matters for my daughter.i want to die knowing that my daughter would still have a good life even i'm gone.my daughter is my primary concern.

I would have felt very bad like you. I think you are justified. If its the way he thinks, I may have to say, he is becoming selfish.How can he hurt his wife like this?

Oh, don't worry about it, he didn't say he's going to do it while you're alive right? so worrying would slowly kill you. .hehehe.. Anyhow, perhaps he will change his mind soon, you know how our blokes just mumble their first thoughts without really thinking about it. And besides, who started the subject? hehehee..

Well, I do think that what your husband said was insensitive. I mean it is a reality that if we were to pass on before our partners that they would more than likely they would pick up and move on with their lives. In all honesty, If we really cared about the person, we would not want them to be miserable for the rest of their lives after we have passed on. Still, I would not want to even talk about that while I'm alive and well. Ya, I'd probably feel hurt. When I'm with a man, I can't imagine being with anyone else. If someone that I loved were dying, I would not be even thinking about being with someone else. At that point, I'd be wondering how I'm ever going to find happiness in life without that person. The last thing I'd be thinking of is hooking up with someone else even tho in reality, people do move on. What brought this subject up anyway? I just can't imagine someone just blurting something like this out.

Oh that's alright at this point in time, no one knows among you who will die first. Just answer him kiddingly, Oh really, that's okey as long as she'll love you the way I do, but I promise you, if you'll die ahead of me, I won't marry again. You see you'll get a differrent response from him. Sometimes husbands just want to torture our minds but they don't really mean what they say.

Hi rainmark, During our first few years of marriage, I did ask my husband this question : If I were to die, would he find another one? And he quickly said no. But just a few years back after 18 years of marriage, I asked him the same question and he said he would. I was taken aback. And realizing that he's said the wrong thing he quickly rationalize his answer saying that he still needs someone to take care of him and so on and so on. I was so hurt I couldn't say anything. At least I know how much our love meant to him. I don't blame you for being hurt. It really hurts to know the truth. You think you know someone but in fact you don't. What hurts the most is the fact that he can think about replacing you even before you die. What does it say about the relationship? Is he just going through the motion until you die and replacing you as soon as you're gone? That's what I thought when my husband said he'd remarry if I die. Since then I don't believe in true love. There's no such thing. Having said that, I don't think you should dwell too much on something that may not even happen. You can't predict the future. Things will change. Maybe he'll die first. So just enjoy your life. Maybe he said it without thinking about your feelings. Men can sometimes be like that.

Personally if I were to die I would expect my husband to find another woman. I would not want him to live out the rest of his years alone. He deserves to be happy.

Hi! Just thinking about "her" taking care of my children in my place is scaring the hell out of me. I don't care much about my husband looking for another girl if i die 'cause I think that's expected. Men are men, okay.But my children is another issue. What if she hurts my children? What if she'll treat my children bad if my husband is not around? I think that happens a lot and not only in the movies. In my country that's a common story. all i can do is pray, pray,pray.

hey, don't sad. if you love your husband, you should let him happy and enjoy the life all the time. i think he said that is just for joking, you didn't need to care so much. enjoy the happy life with him is the most important. :)

reality is reality..not even after dying..many start liking another woman even when they are together..but you should not lose heart, as he is with you and happy at present..live hapily and enjoy the togetherness...later maybe someday you will feel that u missed these days...so be happy and cheerful and dont think about the days which you will not be able to see..

I am not yet married. He deserves to be happy. You might get hurt but you need not to be selfish.

Hello my friend, I understand your part...if i would be in your place that would also my feeling...it would really be hurting on our part if our partner would say like that, much more if we have an ailment that we think would be the reason why our partner would say that to us...it feels like our partner never really love us..well maybe your partner just joking or whatever that he didn't really intentionally said that....take it easy/...thanks

I think I would cry too. But at times we cannot be selfish as the living one need care, warmth and love too. However, there are lover who will love only one no matter what. True love exist but very few Just do not bother what they say, live life to the fullest. Assuming the other party go first, will we look for a new partner too? Maybe, due to loneliness we might look for one. However, ladies are different, normally they will stay faithful and ensure they give their best time and love to their children indeed :)

In my opinion its a natural feeling. You want your loved ones to be devoted to you and not look for someone else. But even if your husband would have told that he is not going to find anyone else, it could have been a lie. You should be happy, I reckon, that he told you an honest truth. I feel that there is nothing to worry about it and live life with him happily as long as you can.

In my opinion, the true meaning of love is to make the one you love happy, so if you die, you should bless he can find one to love him and take care of him, the best gift for you is his happiness, don't you think so?