Would you say you prefer to blend in a crowd or stand out from the rest?
By ilyzium
@ilyzium (1197)
Canada
September 6, 2009 3:50pm CST
I think for me this varies depending where I am or what I'm wearing. Of course if I'm someplace like at a funeral for example, I wouldn't want to draw any attention so there I'd want to blend in. If I'm attending a wedding, or party, well I'll stand out and wear something trendy that makes me feel good about myself. If I have a new outfit that I'm dying to wear, then yes I'd rather stand out in a crowd and be noticed, but if it's just something nondescript, then I'd rather blend in. I think it also depends where I am too, because I'm of the mentality : "when in Rome..." therefore when I go to Europe, I find that Europeans generally try to dress more adventurous, daring than say in North America, so I'll do the same when I'm there. Then when I'm back here I tone it down a tad.
3 people like this
10 responses
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I would prefer to stand out in a crowd. Not because of the way I dress but because of my friendly, outgoing personality. I don't know a stranger. I strike up conversations with anyone and everyone because I am genuinely interested in knowing about people. People are fascinating. Put me in a room full of strangers and I will be leading the group after a few minutes. Have always had this friendly, caring personality.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I have more acquaintences than actual friends. I love people and they feel it. I have one of those common faces where people tell me their intimate problems or concerns without really knowing me. I am sympathetic and caring also and think that comes across loud and clear. I now have that attitude, as I get older, if they don't like me well who cares! Have always been the life of a party and love that label.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
Hi carolbee,
Well then if you're that personable and friendly, you probably have lots of friends. I admit sometimes I'll purposely try to stand out because I tend to be on the shy side and become really nervous when meeting new people, fear of rejection I think. But I admire that you're really confident and have no fear when it comes to meeting people. Good for you. :)
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
I like your attitude, such spunk! ;) I think they say that most people are like that where they have lots more acquaintances than friends, I know I am. Well, I used to be more like you when I was younger, but I've strangely become more introverted. I would say it also depends on the crowd of people I see: do they look inviting towards meeting new people, or do they appear snobbish and uptight. I also have to mention that certain cities are notorious for having really friendly people, where I live in Vancouver is not the case. I will for example go to different parts of Canada where the people are very warm & friendly, also go to a lot of places in the US where they're just as warm & friendly, then I come back home and there's a big difference.
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
•
6 Sep 09
Hi Ilyzium,
I don't like standing out from the crowd. I am actually quite a shy person so my preference is to blend in and not be seen, though there have been occasions where I seem to have randomly stood out anyway! It makes me feel really uncomfortable though being the centre of attention, or being admired or anything like that. If I was at a wedding or an event like that I would definitely not want to stand out, even if I was the bride I think I would spend most of my time hiding, unless the fact I was getting married made me hyper. I don't mind standing out so much when hyper, but other times I do like to hide in the background lol!
All the best,
Dranz 
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
6 Sep 09
Hi Dclehnsherr,
So you don't like to stand out or have people admire you, even when you know you look good or are wearing something really flattering? Really? Do you have to drink to stand out? I'm asking this because some people will only feel comfortable if they're drinking. Oh well everyone's different and if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring. Surprisingly I am very shy myself when it comes to meeting people, I don't like to initiate conversation, but I don't mind standing out though.
@DCLehnsherr (1037)
•
8 Sep 09
Hi Soonernation,
I can only imagine that I would be around at my wedding because I would be hyper due to love and happiness lol! If not then probably because the groom is keeping hold of me to make sure I don't run off and leave him to face our families alone lol!
I like what you said about the tiredness thing. I encountered that for the first time this weekend after spending way too long on mylot the night before. It was amazing...though I did sit in the car afterwards thinking I was like someone completely different, which was quite creepy. But it could be useful. (Maybe that shall be our trick on our wedding days, no sleep the night before lol)
All the best
Dranz 
Dranz 
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
i am a singer, so sometimes whether i like it or not i do stand out. on parties i like to keep myself as the blending type but once i was called at the stage i am the center already. with this, i make sure that i am dressed properly and make sure i make mysself proud of what will i do. but i always wanted to be the blending type only i want to enjoy without people eyeing me. i can only do that when i am at a party as a visitor only and during parties with relatives.
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
when i am not yet called i can blend well. the ouch part is when they call me up and after singing they will be asking a lot of things and worst they expect me to give them my number... 
. if its for business then why not, but if they want to get my number for a different purpose then that would not be nice.
. if its for business then why not, but if they want to get my number for a different purpose then that would not be nice.@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
9 Sep 09
Hi roni,
You're a singer? Really? Wow, how cool is that! Yeah that would be hard to "blend in" when you're on the stage, at which point you want to stand out and be memorable so that people remember you by your singing and persona. Well, I'm sure you're always dressed well, because I can see from your pic here that you do have style. I'm sure when people meet you they probably expect you to be very bubbly, outgoing that likes to stand out in a crowd...
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
For me, there should be a balance between fitting in and standing out. Fitting in is good because it helps us build stronger ties with society, but standing out is also good because it allows us to realize our individuality, that we are all unique beings. On the other hand, too much fitting in is equal to being mindless, and too much individuality isolates us and therefore makes societal ties weaker. The middle ground is the best.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
Hi angela,
I like your response, very insightful: "Fitting in is good because it helps us build stronger ties with society". I see what you're saying, as in "when in Rome". Or you could also say: "birds of a feather flock together". I think we all naturally gravitate towards people that are like us because they share a common "ground", so that we are easily accepted by them. Well, they've said that some of the most creative geniuses out there were also some of the loneliest and isolated so I would agree with you on that one.
@yourbetteroffasian (178)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I like to blend it but also have my own style. I dont want to be vague and imitate everyone else. I try to look natural and look my own way. I'm not one of those guys that wear dress shirts and polos with jeans every day. I'm the athletic type who enjoy going to baseball and basketball games. I like to root for my favorite teams on my shirts or wear a basketball jersey. Every one has their own style or should have their own style to express themselves.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
hi yourbetteroffasian,
Oh ok nothing wrong with wearing your favorite teams shirts or anything like that. I have to ask you though, now when on a date do you dress up and wear say dress shirt, dress pants, nice shoes, or something to impress a date? The reason I am asking is that we had this one friend that seeing this guy. Anyway they would go out to dinner, and while she had no problem that he was wearing his usual attire most of the time. When it came to nice restaurants he refused to dress up and would wear his spiderman ski hat with jersey, and refuse to conform. Well, I think there is a time and place to wear anything and I know this guy didn't even own a blazer or dress pants. But to wear that to dinner? Not cool...
@horsesrule (1957)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Generally I try to blend in so that I don't draw attention to myself. This is something that I learned growing up because when the parents would notice me, I would usually get into trouble because they were drinkers and very bad parents. That's why I would try to be invisible. I have had many years of counseling now though so I don't try to be invisible as much. I like to wear bright cheerful colors because they make me happy and sometimes the bright pinks, greens and purples can bring attention to me. LOL
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
Hi horserule,
Aw I'm sorry that you had to go through that, that's very sad indeed. Terrible for parents to do that to their kids. :(I hope your counseling has helped you though...? I agree with the bright colors, because I know for myself if I'm having one of those "blah" days where everything is going wrong, I'll try to wear some bright colors and stay away from negative people...too much negativity in the world as it is really.
@stephwrites (275)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I usually blend in. I don't wear the trend of the moment but I don't want to stand out either. But I'm a home body, I don't go out much so it's not an issue. I have teenagers so they really don't want me to stand out either. sometimes my daughter objects to what I wear but most of the tme it's okay.
My teenage daughter mentioned above loves to stand out. She wants to be the brightest and weirdest in the crowd. I draw the line at piercings. I can't stand to look at rings coming out of kids' eyebrows, noses and lips. But she dyes her hair two different colors, and last night she went blond. so we have all kinds in our family!
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
6 Sep 09
Hi stephwrites,
That's true if you're home mostly, it really isn't an issue. I guess when I mean "stand out" I mean to stand out in a good way, not with "horns on the head" or anything like that. But of course you can also stand out by by not being "mainstream". lol Oh yes there are the teens that want to stand out and the ones that don't. Does your daughter wear the usual colors or is she dying her hair those stand out colors like blues, purples, etc? I know when I was a teenager, my brother came home once with a nipple piercing, and amazingly managed to keep it a secret from my parents for years. Actually to this day I'm pretty sure my father doesn't know about his piercing.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I would hate to think of myself as just blending in a crowd. i would like to think I had the courage and conviction to stand out from the rest. I like being a leader and not a follower. How about you?
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
Hi sender,
I agree with you on that because when it comes to clothes, I would say I am more of a leader, because I wear what I like and don't care what others think. I do get a lot of compliments on my clothes, so I can't be doing that badly. I also purposely try to avoid buying clothes in malls and will shop in more independent stores, where there is more individuality. NY is a great place for that.
