How do you treat your children equally?
By ashbelx
@ashbelx (92)
Philippines
September 7, 2009 1:45am CST
I have a daughter who's 9 years old and a son who's turning 7 next month. I really did my best to raise them close to each other and maintain an equal treatment to avoid resentments and jealousy. But sometimes, when they quarrel, i tend to take side with my son 'cause he's younger and kind of smaller and weaker than my daughter.I haven't noticed that this has caused a little problem with my daughter until one day she asked me whether I LOVE MY SON MORE THAN I love her.
I always try my best to provide them equally with material things, spend quality time with them whenever possible,cuddle them, tell them i love them. But only when they had a little fight that I tend to protect my son more. Am i doing the right thing? I talked to my daughter why i do this sometimes and I think she accepted my reasons. However, i am still not satisfied whether i am doing the right thing or not. Please, mothers, tell me how you treat your children equally. Thank you.
1 response
@UmiNoor (4524)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 09
Children will learn about justice and being fair from the way we treat them. I understand your need to side with the smaller and "weaker" sibling. But you must be fair to both of them. The reason why your daughter asked you the question is I think she feels that you're not being fair. You can give them material things equally but it's how you treat them that really matters. If you keep siding with the younger sibling, he will catch on and think that he can get away with anything. You have to be careful there.
If you want to treat them equally, be fair. Listen to both sides and come to a decision together. It's best if they come out with the resolution to the problems themselves. If they can't, I suggest a time out where they can think about it. Sometimes you can't solve a problem within one sitting. It'll take time. Yes it's easier and faster to settle it there and then but the children will not learn anything. Positive parenting takes a long time. Be patient.
