Do you have a relationship with your mother?

Hi Realsmack, this topic really hits home for me, because I've never had a good relationship with my mother. She was a very negative person and I'm surprised that I didn't go crazy while was living with her. I live with my dad now, but I still struggle daily with those traits that I inherited from her. She was a pretty hatefuly and angry person (as was my grandmother, so you see where it comes from), and sadly I inherited a bit of that anger problem. I've been toning myself down lately, but that's one of the reasons I don't have a relationship with her. She tends to try to call me a lot. I don't even like talking to her. When I did talk to her, she would come with the same ol' same ol, even though she tried to convince me that she had changed. It's like I've told her before: She's my mother and I love her with everything I can. I just don't like her. I don't like how she acts and I can't be around it.

..I never had the chance to establish a relationship with my mother because I was very young then when she passed away.. So whenever I see children having a happy time with their mother, I keep on wondering that if my mother is around, maybe I could also bond with her.. But I can't change the past I can never bring her back to life.. I wish you could get closer to your mother including your children.. It is a blessings that you still have your mother with you.. no matter how terrible her attitude maybe, she is still your mother and you have to show her that you care.. Let her feel that you love her while she's still alive because when she is gone, you can't do anything for her already.. Tell your children good things about her so when they meet her, they will not feel awkward towards your mother.. You see, people have soft spot in their heart for children.. I hope you could really establish a relation ship with her in the near future..

I do not know what your mom has done and how it hurted you.I just do not understand your attitude.Do you love your mother?Sorry that I cannot feel that and I think you are just hating her all the time.Did she never do something good for you?There must be some profound reasons that one hates another so deeply;so I do not want to persuade you to love your mother and it is not real-life.For myself,I love my mother very much,and she gives me life and she gives everything she can give to me.When I come to my girlfriend's home first time,I talked with her mother and she actually received poor education;then I told my girlfriend that your mother knew nothing.My girlfriend was angry and said:"you are not allowed to say bad words about my mom!" You know,maybe our culture is different.In our country,mom is a word standing for the best part of the world.Take care of yourself and to be a good mother!

I have never, perhaps more accurate to say that very rarely meet with my parents. Because when I was 7 years old I moved to the capital and live with my uncle and aunt in the capital. Now more than 11 years I've parted with my parents. During the 11 years I have just returned to her parents' house when I was 9 years old and 8 years later intervals (1 month ago) I went back again to visit them. Do you think I will close and intimate with them? Even my parents and grandmother hardly knew me. Then when I was near my mother I felt awkward, I felt alien in my own home. If you rarely saw my mother and how do I get close to him? Oh I almost do not have a sense of soul ties.

I feel for you as Ihave not had the greatest relationship with my mother. In the past I have had a lot of anger, and I had bulimia for about 10 years which I believe started from pretty much taking out the anger on myself because there was nowhere to put it. Things got better when I moved from England to America but she still had the power even over the phone! I think she did the best with what she had though. Her mother never wanted her, she was sent to live with her grandmother from the ages of three to fifteen just because my Nan 'didn't want a girl' She never really dealt with her own stuff so she kind of passed it on to me I think. Its strange now because she has Parkinsons Disease and though nothing was really resolved, you just look at her and see an elderly lady now and it doesn't matter anymore.

i do have a relationship with my mother. and it's not all pretend. i have a REAL relationship with her. there are times when i talked back at her and showed no respect. i'm human, too, and i do have feelings. and sometimes i just can't control my anger. but there are also times when we get along very well. we always go shopping together and do mother-daughter stuff. i guess we have ups and downs but that's natural in every relationship. conflicts make the relationship more active and more alive. i hope you can work it out with you mom. :)

I feel for ya. I have a great relationship with my mom. We have always been close, except when I was 15 til about 18. Normal teen aged stuff. Now I am a little older and we have an outstanding relationship. I cant imagine what life will be with out her. You are absolutely right, you cant change her. All you can do now is break the cycle and be a better mother. Hearing you mention your sons, I bet you already are. Great job and stay strong!

I have a relationship with my mother, and dad, now. Growing up with them was a hellish existence full of abuse, booze and beatings for me and my brother so I hated them both very much. I quit talking to them for a long long time. I've had many years of counseling at this point so I can have a relationship with my mom and dad now. And in fact, my parents are "good" parents now and they have quit drinking. And good is really a strong word for their parenting now, I mean they will help us, me, my brother, my daughter and grandsons, when we need it, they are there for us. The problem is that they are negative all the time, always seeing the bad side of everyone plus they put us down for our life choices and our weight problems but like I said, they are there for us when we need them. I've just got to accept them for who and what they are, which is, some really messed up in the head people who aren't very nice, that's my mom and dad. In fact just now, my parents have said that my daughter didn't pay them $60 that she was supposed to. So we were all talking about it together, without my parents, and there is NO $60 shortage, it was given to them. It's frustrating but it is what having a relationship with my parents is like, always. They dont' change. There are so many times that I think we would be better off if we walked away from them forever so I know what you mean with your mother.

i've got an ok relationship with my mum, we've never been the best friend type. i'm not that open to her, i can talk to my boss better. mum does hit the roof about things but she still cares and is there for us. she is very generous as well, but i get a bit fed up with being dobbed in to help with somethings. not all relationships are perfect, but we have others to help us.

I was feeling a bit metamorphic at my first sight of your title.After reading your story,I know So that's the whole story.I have seldom seen this kind of funny story.You really terrify me!

It is not uncommon to have tense relationship between daughter and mother, esp. when young. As daughter, I would suggest that you think only about the merits of your mother, and express it in words to her, and your appreciation of what she has been doing for the family. No complaint, no blaming, but patience and persistence. She will be with you and your son. Blessings.

I have a very good relationship with my mother. I've always had a good relationship with her. My mom is very involved in my life and my kids, etc. I don't know what I'd do without her. I would be very sad and lost if she moved away or if something happened to her. I know how you feel though. One of my Uncle's used to live with us until I went into 7th or 8th grade. He left suddenly to never return. I had always felt abandoned by him. In high school he would start to call maybe once a year. I would not answer the phone. Too much time had passed that he didn't bother with me or my siblings. You do not sound like an adolescent.

For the longest time I have always tried to be a good daughter to my mother but could never be as good as my 3 younger siblings in her eyes. I was the peacekeeper for many years, trying not to stir the pot or upset it but finally after a blowout with my oldest of the younger siblings and my mother took their side is when I decided that enough was enough. She had always acted as though my daughter, who was her first grandchild, was her pride and joy but once this blowout took place she now has no contact with my daughter. She blames me for everything, including the fact that she hasn't seen my daughter in over 6 months. But she has made no effort in contact me or my daughter, who has her own cell phone. I don't know if it is just that she is angry with me for not catering to her and giving in as I had always done in the past or what it is exactly.