When your mad at your partner, how do you manage your anger?
By xio shi
@simonelee (2715)
China
September 8, 2009 3:33am CST
hello, fellow mylottres.
When you are in a relationship, how do you usually manage your anger towards your partner? Do you easily out burst and tell everything that you wanna tell and afterwards you're feeling okay? Or you just seat in one corner and be quiet? be alone? I saw many partners argued in public places and doesn't care if people can see them and hear their arguements. When I'm mad I usually zip my mouth and be alone.
2 people like this
21 responses
@shibham (16977)
• India
8 Sep 09
hi simon. good question.
it depends on the situation. i am an angry person by nature so i have to control it a lot. but when i become mad i go out from that situation for some hours and return back with a healthy mind so that i can handle the situation. but sometimes u know i lose my control and break whatever i get near to me. oh... whats a stupidity?
@simonelee (2715)
• China
10 Sep 09
So, you really can't help it but to release all those loads. Hmmm... If i were your partner, I'll make sure if i can sense that you're already mad I go to a place where it is empty so that you won't hit me with those hard objects or a place where all the stuff are glued.
By the way, it's Simone(female). thanks for the share, Shibham.
By the way, it's Simone(female). thanks for the share, Shibham.
@bloodcakelover (420)
• Malaysia
8 Sep 09
Me and my boyfriend fight sometimes.It is hard for me to manage my anger and i will speak up my mind.I cannot be quite an just let him win and do the things that cause me to get mad.I think it is better to tell so that we can discuss on how to overcome the problem or we can easily understand each others like.
@bloodcakelover (420)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 09
He will listen to me but sometimes he just forget about it and do it again it is hard to be with someone like this.Sometimes we just have to be patient and let them win.It hurts...
@simonelee (2715)
• China
16 Sep 09
I think it depends on the person we are committed(character and attitude). Some guys are worst than female when they are mad. They talk a lot. I'm wondering now if those kind of men are gay.
Anyway, does your boyfriend listen to you when you confront him? thanks for the response, cake.
Some guys are worst than female when they are mad. They talk a lot. I'm wondering now if those kind of men are gay. Anyway, does your boyfriend listen to you when you confront him? thanks for the response, cake.@simonelee (2715)
• China
19 Sep 09
ooops! me and your boyfriend have the same character, i think i'm the female version of your partner.. I often let it it pass,promising not to commit the same mistake again and asking for forgiveness,but then again I'm doing it again. I think bad habit is the most hardest thing to change in a persons life.
. I often let it it pass,promising not to commit the same mistake again and asking for forgiveness,but then again I'm doing it again. I think bad habit is the most hardest thing to change in a persons life.
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
9 Sep 09
It depends. If I got mad with him in public, I would glare at him and walk away, if I can. However, it is sometimes very hard to control the anger, as my partner can be tremendously irritating! At home, I would snarl at him, and then ignore him totally.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
19 Sep 09
ouch! ignoring a person in entire day is a torture. if your doing it how your partner deal with it? did your partner try to get your attention? does he allow you to do that and ignore you also?if so, your place might be as quiet as church.
if your doing it how your partner deal with it? did your partner try to get your attention? does he allow you to do that and ignore you also?if so, your place might be as quiet as church.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
8 Sep 09
When I am mad or angry at my partner, I usually turn very quiet because I don't like to start fights and don't know what to say to my partner. Ialways keep quiet and think about what he has done or what I can deal with it instead of just keep yelling or anything... he doesn'tlike my silence though, he would rather I talk to him.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
20 Sep 09
the usual problem in staying quiet is that they often insist that we should say something either it will hurt them or not, right? they usually don't understand that a person like us being quiet is important to think, relax, and heal the pain.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
When I'm mad at my boyfriend I try to keep quiet until the right time for saying how I feel comes. I don't tell him when there are lots of people around or when he has lots of other more important things to worry about. I like telling him my problems with him when I'm not mad anymore. But I admit, I'm not always successful at saying things at the right time. Even so, I do try my best, and I know he would forgive me when I fail.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
16 Sep 09
Hmmmm... waiting for the right time to speak all what's in your mind. i think when the time comes you forgot all those words that you wanted to say to your partner, I mean all those feelings and emotions are gone. When both of you are ready to talk you have less guts to tell the truth, right?
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
8 Sep 09
I usually take time to myself just to calm down because when people are angry they usually say the wrong things in moments of anger.
I dont like fighting in public. If we were in a public place, I wouldn't mention it until we get back to our home and then I'll bring the issue up.
I think it's embarrassing to be fighting in public.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
19 Sep 09
not really the "wrong words" but the "mean words" because you're speaking from your soul and trying to release those bad feelings. Most often if we are hurt we also want our partner to feel the same pain so we tend to hurt their feelings to, we want them also to feel bad.
@prashanthalva (2272)
• India
8 Sep 09
Yes .. I DO Agree Silence Is The Weapon That Works Best On Men .. My Wife Doesn't Talk, She Virtually Avoids Looking At Me .. Believe Me that Hurts a Man .. This Really Troubles Me A Lot .. I Ask Her Actually Beg her Not To Do It Again .. But As they Say Old Habits Die Hard .. She Keeps On the Silence whenever we Have a difference of Opinion .. I Have to agree I Indeed Lose the Battle ..
@simonelee (2715)
• China
10 Sep 09
I agree! my partner hates it when I'm idle. My partner always forced me to say something about the issue so that we can resolve the problem. But, for me, i rather shut my mouth rather than saying a words that will hurt him. you know what, as I observed it leaves a scar and the issue was not resolve and forget. Letting the issue pass won't really help but instead leading to a dying relationship(unconsciously).
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
9 Sep 09
Hi simonlee,
Well I would say that I am pretty vocal and will tell my partner when something is usually bothering me, although if I'm really MAD or annoyed at him, sometimes I'll just bottle it up for the moment. When I do this I usually retreat into myself and give him the silent treatment, refusing to talk to him. That's when he usually comes to say I'm sorry, or will try to engage me in conversation and try to resolve things. It doesn't happen very often but when it does, that's what happens. Although sometimes we have these disagreements because my husband is extremely soft spoken and talks in a quiet voice, whereas I am much louder at and times don't hear my husband, but then again no one else hears him either. Anyway, my biggest gripe is when he calls me deaf and says I'm not paying attention to him, because he is known for his mumbling. Ooh do I ever get mad. I'll say to him that you shouldn't make fun of someone with a disability! ha! I don't have one btw but I have to bring that into the conversation.
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
i will manage him by making him calm and laugh..i will introduce joke..or i will gonna invite him for an out. like site seeing..sometimes his anger will just fade away if i'll gonna prepare a special recipe for him..my partner anger won't get a 24 hours anger if i'll gonna make a move...he's easy to make calm and better.
@maharlikah (1045)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
In public places I zip my mouth and be alone. And if it happens in a private place I easily tell what I need to tell to make me feel okay.
@xiangd (63)
• China
14 Sep 09
Hello,I just want to say that I'm very similar to you. when my friends or partners or vokemate do some wrong thing to me,I keep slience and alone at most time.I'm a deep and diffidence man,I am not good at express what I think and what I feel.so certainly,I would not express my anger to even anyone.Sometimes I really don't know what is it,virtue or flow,just because this chatactor,the people around me would not anger to me too,maybe it answer for the famous word:"no pain,no gain"
@ariel02arnesto (6)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
You know we cannot parry misunderstanding in relationship.
But when you are mad to your partner or having a dispute
about your relationship, it's better to seek advice
from your parents or for those person who are close to you
to avoid broken up your relationship . . .
You know forgiveness can make you free and make
your relationship prolonged.
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
9 Dec 09
I'm not a showee person but I also show when I'm angry..and after that I'm fine..But don't make a scene just to show and I'm angry or slump a poor door. If I'm angry I'm confrontal and argued so that I can clear things up. Because for me its just a miss understanding..The way that you can solve that problem is to understand each other..
Sorry but I don't like people who just go quit..Because you can't achieve a thing if you go quit..Your only running away from the problem..Your not facing it.
@skbh12 (2946)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
hi simonelee!
when i am angry as much as possible i say it to my partner. i have to release the anger or else the more i keep it to myself the more angry ill become. good thing whenever im mad, my partner stays quiet. he doesn't really get into the mood that i am in. we never argue or fight in places loud. whenever we have problems, we both tend to keep quiet when we are on public places..
@patzel88 (3310)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
my partner will not care about even we are in the crowded people if he is mad at me, for he will not keep his mouth shut just because of the unknown people around us. He will still keep on nagging and making arguments for the things make him mad. In my part i will keep my mouth shut up so that the arguments will end.
@greenfeathers (1206)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I tend to keep quiet. Fueling the fire just makes things worse for the both of us for awhile and that can be worse than the original mad.
ENJOY!
@lmm123 (1)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I always tell him whats on my mind, unless were in public then i wait until we get home...(that just gives everybody a reason to be nosy, besides no one needs to know our buisness). We scream back and forth at eachother for a little while but no matter what the outcome is i never feel better after, i still need to go of and find a quiet place and be by myself for a little while. Its really not good for you to keep quiet only cause one day you will burst and everything is gonna come out.
