What do you think of a girl who date or accept a man because of pity not love?

Indonesia
September 9, 2009 12:53am CST
I don't know if this question is a common thing for many of you people here, especially all the girls, but I simply asked this question because it involves someone i know very well, a close friend of mine, the girl. So this girl,who is a friend of me accept this guy who has been trying so long to win her love, nothing wrong with that if she really loves him, but I do know she only accept him because he has tried so long to win her love and that she doesn't want to disappoint other's feeling as she has felt recently. However, when talking to me she always mentioned when will she really falls in love again, despite she already accept that man as her boyfriend, she has felt broken hearted before and refuse to listen to her heart anymore in finding the right person and just try to run away from her heart. The problem is I don't like the way she thinks, especially about how she treated love, is like a game to her, not really loving someone but accept it because he is nice and has tried hard, she's not being honest as all of the time until now she still opens her heart for other man too. I have been trying to told her, that she should not try to make fool of someone's feeling and just be honest, but she still does that. She doesn't want to tell her current "boyfriend" and keeps on seeing other man and playing with their feelings too..So what do you think of her behavior? should I tried to keep advising her or just let her be like that?
4 responses
eM
@eLsMarie (4345)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
well i encountered this kind of problem for a thousand times already. if she does want her boyfriend to get hurt, she should have rejected the guy's love long long before. she shouldn't let the guy exert so much effort and expenses if in the end she'll just force herself to fall for the person. leave your friend alone and be patient to wait for the right time that she'll be sorry for herself...
Daniel
@satan88 (584)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
9 Sep 09
This is definately a tough one. But I agree with you though she shouldn't toy with the guys emotions like that. People these days do treat relationships like a big game and i tend to avoid girls like that. You should tell the guys directly in my opinion. You don't need friends like that.
beaushell
@beaushell (339)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
I think your friend is confused. She doesn't really know what she want and what she is looking for. She is also longing for real love but just don't know how to look for it. She is also on a quest of finding that love that will swept up her feet and stick to it. Yet in the process, she may be hurting people as well as hurting herself. She needs guidance and advice. If only you will be patient with her and kindly tell her that. If you think you are not capable of saying the truth to her. Maybe you need someone older and more experience person so it can be explained to her.
madugulagopi
@madugulagopi (1093)
• India
9 Sep 09
Its something that happenened many times and I have seen many gals who have accepted the boys not because of love because of the fact that the guy had been trying for a long time and he is sincere.I am not saying that every gal is like that but most of them I have seen are like that.But the real problem starts after that when they start moving closer when they really try get to know each other.. That is when most of the gals realise their mistake and although most of them come back but some of them are stuck there not knowing what to do.. So its better for them to think before accepting someone in our life...