Should you or shouldn't you. Clean out your friends list.
By savak03
@savak03 (6684)
United States
September 9, 2009 8:25pm CST
Every week there are discussions started about friends here on the lot. Someone will ask about friend requests and another will say they delete friends for various reasons periodically. I've been bumped off some friends lists because I wasn't a frequent visitor for awhile. I have even started a couple of discussions about what appeared to me as strange friend requests.
Many will ask if accepting all who request is wise and others will only approve those who have been frequent visitors to their discussions. And truly, whatever makes you comfortable is okay. But I really want to know, does it really make any difference if you leave a friend on your list who is not responding to your discussions? Mabey they just got busy in real life or maybe they have been sick.
Now, I will agree that if someone requests you as a friend and then starts spamming your PM or being rude and obnoxious then by all means cancel that friend, but why cancel them just because they have gone silent?
10 people like this
21 responses
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
10 Sep 09
Silence sometimes the loudest noise you will ever experience...
Some accounts have been deleted yet I leave the avatar in my friends list for the memory, I remember...
1 person likes this
@TheGreatWhiteBuffalo (4822)
• United States
10 Sep 09
Why Lucy I've been very busy, I have much to show very soon... 
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Sep 09
My take on this is that I will delete those that are considered spammers to me. Like begging for me to fall under their referrals and stuff like that. I could even entertain with 1 message saying thanks for the offer and if I like, I'll come back to it, and they would say please, please.
That could bug me especially when I'm in no mood. In fact, I still have some in my list but I've not deleted them, because they aren't spamming me anymore. But if there is another request from the same person, I might have to delete it.
That could bug me especially when I'm in no mood. In fact, I still have some in my list but I've not deleted them, because they aren't spamming me anymore. But if there is another request from the same person, I might have to delete it.1 person likes this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
I would probably delete anyone who couldn't take no for an answer. I don't mind being asked once but after that it becomes harassment. I mean after all we all would like to make a little more money and who knows when one of those requests would be the one that would work. But just ask me once.
1 person likes this
@sconibear (8016)
• United States
10 Sep 09
[b]D O N ' T
C A N C E L
T H E
B E A R ! ! ![/b]
1 person likes this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
Oh, I would never, never cancel the bear. I just finally decided to start this discussion because someone hurt my feelings by deleting me after I had been silent for a little while. It hurt because I had always looked up to him but he just callously deleted me a few months ago.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
10 Sep 09
So far I have deleted several names with blank profiles. I would not delete those who seem to have become silent, either due to personal matters, or due to actual online interests.
In our offline world do we cross off our friends because we have notheard from them for a long time? Most probably not. That is the way I try to treat those who are on my friends list. They may come back, and forge a stronger and closer friendship bond. Even the oaccasional spammer may mend his/her ways.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223776)
• Chile
10 Sep 09
The problem I see if I don´t do some housekeeping once in a while is that I have a list of many pages of friends. When I want to send a message to somone, I have to check for about half an hour, as they are not by name.
The friends you have not posted at mylot for 2 or 3 months I delete. If they come back and want to be my friend again, f course I´ll accept them.
I am not that young and my memory is not as it was. So I can´t cluter too much anything because I get lost.
Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
11 Sep 09
I only delete people off my friends list that are no longer here. If they have not posted in over 6 months. I delete them. I like to keep my friends organized. It is easier to find a friend when you are not sorting through 40 or so more that are not even here anymore. I rarely post a discussion anymore, so I don't delete those who do not respond to my discussions. I comment more than anything lately.
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
13 Sep 09
I agree. Even placing them in alphabetic order would be a big help.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
10 Sep 09
Every once in a while I'll go through my friends list and trim it down a little, but it's been a long time since I've done this. I see no harm in having people sitting there, even if I never really see them. Thankfully I don't get spammed by anyone either and they'd be deleted immediately if that were to happen. What still intrigues me are the requests I keep on getting from people I've never seen before! I have some 41 pending requests at the moment and they're all from people that have never been in any of my discussions, or I in theirs. I have absolutely no idea who they are! I'm sure this happens to most of us, but I do sometimes wonder how they came to choose me in the first place?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 09
I don't leave 'em pending. The little number next to 'friends' drives me nutso...
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
41? Wow? I do get some of those myself but never that many. (note to paranoid self: now don't start worrying.) Sometimes I wonder how they find me too. I suppose they could just pick an interest and request everyone off the leader board. I'm sure there are other ways they could get a list to work from.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
10 Sep 09
Dealing with the friend list is a very personal affair.
I remove those that have not logged on for over 6 months UNLESS I know that they might be back and have personal reasons for not being here right now.
Others that just added me when they first joined and have only a few posts and are no longer active go to make place for new names who might become friends as time passes.
MAny of those on my list become silent for a reason and stay put there. There was a user who was active up until about 10 months ago and then disappeared. Four months ago I sent a PM and he reappeared two days ago! He was one that was more than just a name in a list though and I would never have removed him, just as you suggest.
He was one that was more than just a name in a list though and I would never have removed him, just as you suggest.@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
10 Sep 09
Thank you Savak!
I would second that motion if it were available
I have some profiles bookmarked to make them easier to find and there they end up in alphabetical order which is already a great improvemnt.@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
It is a personal affair, and I never meant to insinuate that it should be otherwise. I might feel differently if we had some control over where on the list our friends were. Then I might work on the list more and move my special friends, like you, to the first page.
@mayka123 (16604)
• India
10 Sep 09
I have not cleaned my friends list ever. There is no complusion that everyone should respond on every topic I start. Each of us have our own choices and not everyone would be able to respond on every topic. I do not feel offended when my friends do not respond to my discussions. Finally I too am not able to respond to every discussion started by friends.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
That's a good balanced view. While there are times I try to comment on all my friends discussions sometimes I just can't either because I don't have the time or I can't relate to the subject.
Just a case in point. I left a comment on a discussion last night on a topic that I couldn't relate to and tried to be funny. I'm afraid that I offended my friend. 
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 09
I accept everybody and if they piss me off (which nobody has so far) I will delete them. If it's somebody I've gotten to know and they piss me off, I will talk to them first and try and work it out. So far the only people I have deleted are people who have had their accounts canceled.
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
14 Sep 09
Hi dawn! Thanks for that discussion you have started sometime ago because it led me to a great friendship! I love your sense of humor but most of the time i just don't know what to say so i choose to just picture you in my mind while reading your discussions and laugh as if i am watching a comedy show! I'd better read you and laugh alone than respond like an idiot and piss you off! 
I love your sense of humor but most of the time i just don't know what to say so i choose to just picture you in my mind while reading your discussions and laugh as if i am watching a comedy show! I'd better read you and laugh alone than respond like an idiot and piss you off! 
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
11 Sep 09
I'll delete them as a friend if they haven't responded to me in awhile, just because I want to give room to those who do. I use my email now, and it get's very full everyday with people responding. I've been adding friends though recently, and I'm thinking about finding those that are no longer on my list that I've deleted. Some of the newer ones I have have good discussions, while others is all about the money! That can be annoying, and some of their discussions, if not most, end up being deleted. I am here for the money though, and for good advice, and nice people. Not that the people who are all about the money here and want to know about this and that program are bad people, they aren't, it's just they are all for the money, while I'm interested in here only (as a online money maker).
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Of course, I wouldn't delete you Alice! Your one of the people I love talking to on here!
Lol, it took me forever to get back to this one, but yay I have like 68 left in my inbox.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
18 Oct 09
Alice! lol! You know it was a long while until I realized what 69 was... I mean, in the terms of typing it out...
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
12 Sep 09
I had a clear out as well,so many friends request accepted by me ,but never heard anything from them.I usually leave it a month with no comments or discussions,you cannot have hundreds of friends otherwise if you don't hear from them for a long while they are not proper friends in the way we need them on here.
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
12 Sep 09
There is no reason at all to take them off if you don't want to,it is up to you,I leave regulars on if they go quite for a while I pm them to see if they are alright,or they usually put a discussion out saying they will be away for some reason ,then I know to keep them and wait till they come back.
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
I have not cleaned my friends list, there's just no enough reason for me to do that. There are some that have been missing for sometime and one of them left a word to say she will be gone for a while due to some problems and that her new place has no access with the internet. I have no idea if she will ever be back but i'm still waiting for her return. Another one whom i had been friends with for only about three days sent me a message to say she'd be deleting her own account but i let it stay on my list to remind me of her. I hope, if she decides to come back and reads this discussion she'll me know about it.
I don't have that many on my list and i hope to add more friends. I am just not that very active here on the lot and i'd be sad if a friend deletes me.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I, too, have had my dry spells when I was participating here on the lot. And as a result one of my friends who was a veteran here deleted me from his friends list. Now, while I appreciate that he has the right to manage his life the way he sees fit I was really hurt when it happened.
Don't worry Alexandra, I will not be deleting you. We all have to do the things we must and sometimes that takes us away from the things we like such as the lot. Personally, I don't consider lack of participation as grounds for deleting a friend.
@alexandra777 (643)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
Thanks, savak! I'm glad to have met someone as understanding as you! You are an angel! 
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
14 Sep 09
I never cancel any of my friends. I know they might come back to visit us again sooner or later. I was away for a while and came back also. I hope nobody deleted me for be gone.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Don't worry I am sure there would not be many who would take you off their list. You are firmly established on my list no matter how many times you seemingly disappear. Sometimes we just get busy with other aspects of our life and can't find the time to log in here. I totally understand because it happens to me frequently.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
11 Sep 09
I guess it depends on the individual person. Personally I don't delete people off of my friends list...the more the merrier. I might if they were causing me trouble, but only if I could find them as I have a lot of friends on here and it'd be a long process to search them out just to delete them. It's too bad mylot doesn't have a "delete friend" button directly on profile pages. It'd make it a lot easier to find them that way, especially for someone like me that doesn't want to go through my friends list.
I've been pretty fortunate so far though. I haven't had the need to delete anyone yet.
Happy mylotting!
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
11 Sep 09
Yeah, I haven't had much trouble either. Of course I think that we all have different levels of tolerance and maybe I'm not as annoyed by some things as others. I say this because I have some people on my list that seem to have caused a lot of trouble for some of my other friends but they don't appear to be bothering me. So I figure it has to do with what we, as individuals consider bothersome.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
10 Sep 09
I don't necessarily "clean out" my friends list, not even people who haven't been active in a long time since sometimes after months of not being active they suddenly reappear. I AM hesitant though about accepting friends requests, especially those that are complete newbies with zero or a few points...like how do they find me? I always check people's profiles to see if they responded to any of my discussions...if not I wonder what their "angle" is...do they want me to be a friend to spam me? Don't ask how many times that's happened--
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
I've been blessed in that I haven't had any bad spammers. I have had a few that asked me to join this or look at that but they took no for an answer in good grace. Of course I did have that one stupid request but I haven't had any other problems out of that one.
@littleowl (7157)
•
10 Sep 09
Hi Savak, when I do a bit of 'spring cleaning' on my friends list it is normally friends who haven't been active or answered my discussion (when I make them) after say 9mnths and also that they still are inactive anyway, it just makes me wonder why did they ask for my friendship anyways..yours I wouldn't delete as you do always come back and I know I can respond so it is really a 'spring clean' once a year I do...LoLo
@mohdehtesham (140)
• India
10 Sep 09
Well anything can happen in this situation either they are busy or sick but i think in both the conditions they just can send you atleast one message how are they what are they doing ...this doesnot take much time. thas a different thing when people you will get to know the friends you have added are bad but in this condition they should atleast once message .
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
10 Sep 09
Well, now think about this for a minute. Most people here have hundreds of people on their friends list. If they suddenly get sick or get really busy would they have the time to message each of those people to let them know they will be absent from mylot for awhile?
Another point is that not logging on to mylot for a period of time may have snuck up on them. they didn't mean to be gone but one day moved into two and so on. You don't realize time is passing until it has been awhile.
@vandana7 (100616)
• India
10 Sep 09
I am with u on this. Who knows they might come up with a topic that is of great interest to u. U never know. Unless the friend is behaving in a manner that does not come within the definition of friendship, there is no need to remove them from the list of friends.
