Do you ever get tired helping others?
By careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
Philippines
September 12, 2009 5:39am CST
I have a friend who always help her family in every way. She worked very hard in order to cater and provide her family's need. But there's was time when she told me that she's tired of her life, tired of always helping her family.She asked me if she's being self centered based on what she felt at that moment. And I said to her that she's always kind and responsible to her family and what she felt was just natural emotions.
Do you ever get tired on always helping other people?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
12 Sep 09
I get the same feeling sometimes because sometimes I feel "burnt out".
I also help my family and have given up a lot, especially in money matters just to help them because they are family. Sometimes I feel like I want to just run away but it isnt the right thing to do.
I get tired sometimes but I still believe in responsibilities and it is the reason why I still help. I also have a conscience and if I abandon those responsibilities that I have, I don't think I'll ever be able to get a proper night's sleep.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Yeah, my friend was burnt out. She's in the situations of giving up what she did most of her life. I think what she really need from her family is emotional support. It's hard to always give and never received any act of appreciation or gratitude, as if they assumed it as your responsibility and they don't care how you feel.
It's great that you continue on doing what's good and important. But you know what I still believe that one day you'll received reap the fruits of your helpfulness and generosity you bestow to your family. God is good and He will reward those who do kindness to His people.
Thanks for sharing with us and God Bless
Enjoy your weekends!
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
13 Sep 09
Thanks for the reply :-)
I dont really bank on anything in the future...I mean I dont expect anything in return...because from experience, it's just very disappointing when you get your hopes up. Now, I help but I just leave it at that. I have learnt to let my expectations fall because of all the heartache. Nonetheless, I am still here :-) it's a matter of mindset.
Thank you for commenting and happy mylotting
@iskayz (5420)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
Yes
.. I did got tired of doing things for my family though it's not on financial matters, that's why I decided to go back to my hometown and live independently like I used to. I felt I needed to have my own life back.
I didn't abandon them intentionally but I must do things for myself cause not all the time we will always be there for each other. Soon, members of the family will have their own lives too. Leaving them is also a way of teaching them to tend to themselves for a while. That will teach them to be responsible for themselves. I think your friend needs to think her own life for a while.
Hope that helps. Ciao! 
.. I did got tired of doing things for my family though it's not on financial matters, that's why I decided to go back to my hometown and live independently like I used to. I felt I needed to have my own life back.
I didn't abandon them intentionally but I must do things for myself cause not all the time we will always be there for each other. Soon, members of the family will have their own lives too. Leaving them is also a way of teaching them to tend to themselves for a while. That will teach them to be responsible for themselves. I think your friend needs to think her own life for a while.
Hope that helps. Ciao! @careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Yeah, I agree with you iskayz, we should teach other people to how to live their life. As the saying goes " Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; teach a man how to fish and he will eat for a lifetime".
Making other people dependent to us in every way would only make them weak and irresponsible.
Thanks for sharing with us and have a great weekends!
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
19 Sep 09
Hello,
Yes I think that their is a limit on how much you can help others, and I think that once you pass that limit, it will become almost a burden to help other people, instead of it just being an honor or privilege. Make sure you have a good day, Happy Lotting!!
@picjim (3002)
• India
12 Sep 09
I can't say its wrong on her part to say she got tired always helping her family.When family members especially the younger ones are making unreasonable demands on your time and energy one is bound to feel this way.But she needn't feel tired of life as the difficult days are bound to pass and she will enjoy family ties when the children mature and her spouse lends a helping hand.Sometimes in the spur of the moment one might encounter these emotions but they are bound to pass.One tries to help others as far as it is possible but there may be moments when we are tired or feeling down and at such moments it becomes difficult to help others.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Yeah, there are times in our life where we're overwhelmed by our responsibilities and problems. That it's hard for us lift our heart to others. You're right all things are bound to pass, and we should learned to carry on and never give up on loving. One of my teacher said that we should never give up our kindness just because others are not. We should continue loving and caring other people because it's our nature.
Thanks for sharing with us and have a great weekends!
@dbabcook (388)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I have always been the type who lends a helping hand to anyone, friend or family. Just over the last several months (being in my 40's now) I have gotten to the stage in my life that I am frustrated with helping others, especially when no one is willing to help me or even to help themselves. I thought I too was being selfish but thought about it a bit harder and decided that I am not selfish rather beginning to think of myself for a change.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Yeah, it's really hard to accept when you all your life you help other people and when the time comes that you need help no is there. You know what, I remember a sermon of a priest. He said that every time you help someone in financial matters, you must also say a little prayer for him. You must pray to God that the person will know how hard you work to earn the money just to give her/him. That he/she will not waste the money and finally that person would be grateful to God.
I did apply what the priest said and somehow it works in my part. God is the one who is in control in everything, and He is the one who can provide our needs.
I hope and pray you'd be happy in changing course of your life.
Thanks for sharing with us and have a great weekends!
@Chortaga (97)
• United States
13 Sep 09
When helping people switches from kindness to necessity, I do definitely get tired of it.
It causes extra responsibilities and stresses onto the individual. By being really nice and really kind to others all the time, most of the time, those other people get used to having that and when it doesn't happen it's shocking.
I as well am a very nice person, and I will do anything to help someone else. Although I will admit sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
The reality is whatever you do, no matter how hard you tried to help and give other people it is still not enough for them. And when one time you failed give help, they would automatically forget what you did to them before, and remember the only time that you didn't able to help.
It's okay to help, if its really a responsibility but those people should know understand what you've been going through just to gave what them what they want. And that would be find.
Anyways thanks for sharing with us and have a great weekends!
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
hello careguarden,
we are just human. helping our family is just fine but i think we need to put some limitations sometimes. not that we don't like to help them anymore, so they will not be totally dependent to us. this way, they will learn to stand by their own feet. we need also to save some for ourselves especially when we are already married and have a family of our own.
@nylade2000 (46)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
There's no such thing as we call it wrong in helping people. Sometimes I get tired especially if you have nothing to offer.Everytime I offer help, I felt something that is worthwhile.Helping others is somewhat kind another way of putting God in yourself. It's always nice to feel extending help to others. I see my worth in this world every time I do it.
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
yes... i had been tired of helping other people. Like for instance, i used to be a youth leader in music. last year, i started having financial troubles and to leave the ministry was the first thing that i took off in my list of responsibilities. There are times that you will really get tired and you have to gear to loving yourself. i had to help myself first before i would be able to help others.
Tell your friend that she is not being self-centered. She certainly needs to take a break or a breather. We wouldnt want her to serve her family without a smile and complaining all the time. Love of family would alway pay off in the end.
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
yes, sometimes we feel that way. but our family is always our family.
what she can do, perhaps, is to express her feelings about it to other members of the family and they can find solutions to lighten her burden.
