Re-gifting books to friends for their enjoyment...

@Msabu09 (111)
United States
September 12, 2009 5:45pm CST
Reading another post under "friends" just reminded me of this: Quite some time ago I heard someone talking about re-gifting books. But not just giving-them-away-to-someone-when-you're-finished sort of re-gifting. The sort being discussed was actually very endearing. When you've read a book that particularly touched you, meant something specific to you, changed your life, etc. - you often want to share it. In the scenario I'm talking about, you would write a warm note in the front of the book, or write it on a separate note and insert that into the book. Once your friend received the book, she would feel your warmth and energy in wanting to share it with her (or him). They would get their own "use" from the book and then perhaps do the same. The most beautiful thing about this continual "chain" of exchange is to see where the book has traveled, how many lives it has touched and in what ways. It sounded quite amazing to me when I first heard of it. One Christmas, I sent a book to my friend in much this way. It was one that I came across when cleaning out - a self-love sort of book for women. As I randomly opened it, something on that very page made me think of a recent conversation I'd had with my friend. I sat and wrote her a note, then included the book in the box of goodies I sent up to her that year. To this day, I'm not sure how she felt about that - she's never really mentioned it other than a "thank-you" after receiving it. So I wonder what you all think about this....do you like this idea? Would you do it with your circle of friends? How about for you - would you be offended if your friend sent or gave you a book in this way?
2 people like this
5 responses
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
14 Sep 09
I think its a good idea.. i had left a book at one my friends house.. he knew it was my favourite book.. and when he decided he couldnt be friends with me anymore (i only wanted friends, he wanted more, but we were close friends) he wrote a note in it before he gave it back and i didn't find it till a few years later when i decided to read the book again.. and it touched me and made me tear up.
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Aw, Sissygrl, I love this story! All the more reason to write something from your heart to someone else...even in a book. What a beautiful way to remember your friendship/relationship together. Wow. I almost feel like I can feel from you how much it still means to you....thank you for sharing something so personal and special to you.
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
14 Sep 09
aww it is specially. i wont lend anyone that book ever.. i dont want to lose it. I have talked to the friend on occassion, but he's a sensitive guy, i dont wanna bring it up and stir up trouble, maybe it wouldnt bother him in the least. but i wont tempt it. just in case.
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
14 Sep 09
A special gift just for you....I wouldn't want to ruin it by talking too much about it with others either. Somehow that takes the magic out of it....and that love and magic was meant for you.
1 person likes this
@vinay316 (300)
• India
13 Sep 09
Regifting is bad, there is nothing worse that you can do
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Even if it's given with a loving intent rather than just to get rid of it because you don't want it? Do you really think so? For me - I wouldn't mind someone gave me something that was a gift to them, that they themselves wouldn't use or didn't like and they knew I would enjoy it. Would you be ok with that? Say you love candles, a friend gets some as a gift, they don't use them/don't like them, so they gift them to you, knowing you would get pure enjoyment out of them.....would you be ok with that?
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
16 Sep 09
Lovin.... I tend to agree with you. If I've experienced something that is moving, entertaining, humorous or even life-changing - then why not share it? Why not allow the book to take its own journey through the hands and lives of people who can and would appreciate its gifts? : )
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
12 Sep 09
i have done this are really dont see a problem doing this. especially if the friend that recieves the gift doesnt know or doesnt see the person that actually gave you the gift in the first place!
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Cher - have you ever re-gifted a book with notes in it...and been able to follow the travels of the book? This seems like such a wonderful way to network with people - and to understand their interests. I'd love to hear about your experiences with it if you've tried it.
@Citychic (4067)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Hello there, Usually every year my sister and I exchange books that we've read in this manner. I think it's a great way to get rid of books that we've already read. Since I enjoy reading I would be happy to receive a gift like this. But it's probably always a good idea to let the person know who it's coming from. it's a shame that your friend only said thank you once she received her book-gift from you. Yet not everyone feel the same about writing and even fewer people actually realize the power of our words. In such case you will have to look to God to receive your reward just in case her simple "thank you" didn't quite seem to hit the mark.
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I love that you exchange with your sister Citychic! In our family we would do the same. On a totally different note, sometimes we will all be reading the same book at one time, which is fun, too. It's ok my friend didn't say more than "thank you" - and I think you're absolutely right - not everyone appreciates the "power of our words." She's a food lover, so perhaps if I'd sent up some yummy fudge instead? LOL No reward needed....it was a joy just to share it with her. In this case, it wasn't about how it was received, but what I felt in giving.
@much2say (55607)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Sep 09
I think that's a beautiufl idea - if your friends would appreciate and understand that sort of meaningful gift. We are a family of book hunters, we hit so many used book shops. I am a collector of children's books (not just for my child, but for me), so I am in the children's section a lot. Once and a while I will come across a book that reminds me of a friend and if it's a decent copy, I'll save it for an occasion, write a note saying why this obviously "used" book is being given to them, and hope they enjoy it! Some friends "get it" - others don't know what to make of it - maybe they did think it was weird to get a used book as apart of their gift. I like to think of it has a sort of extended greeting card, but much more "thoughtful". I have been saving this one children's book for a friend about 7 years now. It's about a little goofy, naive girl who wanted to find Christmas . . . so she goes on a search with forest friends. She finds various silly items, and in the end, she decides that all of these items put together was Christmas. This girl is very much like my own goofy, naive friend . . . and interestingly, the book is dedicated to a guy with the same name as her husband! I've been wanting to give either of them this book as a silly book gift for years now . . . but I have hesitated because I don't know if they would "get it". I've given them books in the past (some as an inside joke, others that pertain to their lives in some way) and I've rarely gotten any reaction from them. To me this story is pretty special, and I would be probably be hurt if I gave it to them but heard nothing of it. You know, I would absolutely love it if my friends gave me a book, the way I do it, or the way you described the book giving. I would totally appreciate the thought behind it! It'd mean so much more . . . so much more than the usual soap sets or random "things" that they know I don't need.
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I love it - your "gifting" of children's books! The story you mention and the friend who is connected to it is beautiful! I think Citychic is so right, tho - not everyone is GOING to appreciate the splendor in receiving such a personal gift. Obviously, we are book lovers and for some - word lovers. So to us, a book is perhaps one of the best gifts there is. And then if it comes to us from the heart of someone....ah, all the better! Such a warm feeling accompanied with this type of gift, isn't it? Understandable you want your friend to appreciate what you are giving her.....and so you've waited 7 years! My gosh! But ponder this: what joy you've held onto for 7 years in keeping it and waiting for her response. What if the beauty of the whole exchange is in simply giving it? Perhaps the full measure of your intent with that particular book will not be savored by her....but in your heart....you will know. You will experience the pleasure of having so lovingly given something so meaningful to you. I wonder if that would be enough? And I love, love, love how you have defined such a gift: an extended greeting card, but much more thoughtful! I so agree! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your very personal experience with this. Perhaps one day I'll come across a circle of women/people who would enjoy this type of book sharing as much as we all feel we would and do.