Selective Hearing. Do you practice it or put up with it?

Yes we were out of town for a couple of days. I don't know if there is a difference in boys and girls ,but be prepared if they are the same.I only say this because he is young to have started this already.Of course the argument is inevitable, with the hubby .When the selective hearing is turned on mumble something that they want to hear and see how fast it changes.I think boys can stand to be corrected from mom much easier, just as a girl will listen to dad first or visa versa.I am sure you will keep us updated on the selective hearing.If he is only 11 he could make you a wealthy women on my lot by 16.

Well he's actually really annoyed that he isn't allowed to mylot himself unti he's sixteen, indeed there was the moment when he did whilst I was in the shower, how do you think that Panaithinaikos got added as an interest? He has been forbidden now though in case it gets me banned. I do believe that men are better at selective hearing than women, and if your teenage girl is practicing it now will probably grow out of it, whilst boys never do. Women are better at using it at necessary times whilst males appear to suffer from more of a permanent affliction.

Hi Capsi, I haven't seen you in a few days, hope everything is good with you. You mention the teenage years so I think you imply there is even worse to come with this, my son is still just ten. I think most men have it to avoid being put on the spot but if you simply look them in the eye that one is easily solved so you can go ahead with your arguement.

Hi ZephyrSun, three boys. Well the chances are one of them will hear and tell the other two I expect or am I way off the mark with that one? I agree that it is more of a male trait, used to avoid doing what they don't want to do, probably because women are so much more organised and have more common sense we expect them to do things which for some reason aren't common sense to them. As an example how many years does it take to train a member of the male species to put dirty socks in the laundry basket rather than under a bed, it is common sense to us but not to them, so we repeatedly tell them to do it whilst they repeatedly choose not to hear.

The only thing I can say that they will tell the others is that a meal is ready. I installed a laundry shoot 2 years ago because I thought that the kids would put their dirty clothes there instead of under the bed and I have found all types of toys in the basket at the bottom of the shoot but, hardly ever do I find kids clothes LOL My boys are 13, 11 and 5 and the 5 year old is the best at getting his clothes to the laundry. Isn't it amazing how they somehow lose the ability to get the job done when they hit the pre-teen and teen years? LOL

It doesn't suprise me at all that the five year old is better at doing the necessary than the elder two. Mine has been going through the phase of wanting to help by learning new things to do around the place and of course I take full advantage knowing that it will soon wear off and he'll discover just how immensely boring these things are in actuality. I belived he managed two and a half sessions of ironing before he realised it really wasn't any fun. So I do take full advantage whenever urges like this strike.

I think some men, not all men still think that it's a woman's job to clean up after them, and do it whether consciously or subconsciously, a lot of men are still boys and boys need their mum. And they haven't reached the grown up stage yet. I wonder how many men still look at their partners as surrogate mums, hey I might be wide off the mark here but that is my feelings on this subject. Prove me wrong by all means, but I have a sneaky suspicion you might agree being a lady ;0)

Well Wolfie, I don't know what all men get up to with there habits but certainly Greek society does not encourage them to do anything around the house for themselves as Mama has always done everything for them, before turning them over to a wife generally. However I've never seen my role in life as picking up after someone else so have always had the knack of finding independant minded men who are perfectly capable of running their own places and picking up after themselves. Mine even turned down the 'maid' his mother took it upon herself to employ for him recently when he was unable to move about properly so no looking for someone to skivvy for him there.

Hi Wolfie, hope you're having an UP day today. I think as women are so much more talented at multi tasking than men and know how men love to avoid things then it's pretty much a given that men are more likely to suffer from selective hearing. Your father of course is a classic example of this. Off topic but is your whole family permanently obsessed with ice cream and is your father incapable of opening the freezer and getting his own? Men don't hear women telling them to pick up the wet towels but what amazes me is why on earth do they need telling in the first place, just so they can develop a grievance about being told what to do? Answer that one my dear wolfie.

Teaspoon??? I was having lovely thoughts of him boiling in a huge pot of the stuff!

I can oblige there Ms Tickle, a good friend of mine has a suitable 150 kilo olive holding vessel

Sounds like your friend has it really bad Ms Tickle and should indeed be tackled at once. The olive oil remedy should work well on him but as he sounds so annoying be sure to heat the teaspoon to absolute boiling point before filling it with oil and pouring it into his ears. You can apply this handy solution as a cure for anything and as he won't hear why you are doing it anyway the best time to do so would be during the weather forecast. Of course it is meant to be done for blocked ears but would definitely be allowable here.

Oh my....really? Alright, tell me your time zone later aite.. here it's 8:21 AM .. so what's yours then.. I think your version is more better than me. I always like to rephrase the original phrasing, lol.. We never know when an advice is needed. Sometimes, I kinda miss my mom's nagging. That's true, especially when she's not at home, I can really feel it..

I'm just working out the time zone thing now Zed, you must be on about 1.15 pm now in Singapore and it's 9.15 am here, so you are 4 hours ahead, does that sound about right?

Hi Zed, are we actually in the same time zone at last, wonders of wonders. I haven't heard the expression 'hearing from the left down to the right' before, the one I know is 'in one ear and out the other'. This generally applies with my so when he agrees with a 'yes' or a nod, but actually really didn't hear anything at all as so engrossed by more important things. I will ask he wants me to cook a certain food, he will indicate yes, then late deny all knowledge that he agreed to eat aubergines, so there are times I can turn it against him Unasked for and unwanted advice is a very annoying thing and your deaf ear is well applied in that situation, whereas welcome advice can indeed be constructive.

Hi picjim, I do practice a little tolerance when it comes to time for bed and showers as surely all children must object to those so naturally I call for both at with at least ten minutes before I can expect any activity on his part so I can still fool him into doing it when I want it done. I think children generally know when we really mean it.

hi thea. i don't think cutting the plugs will work for us, we all love to watch TV. lol you know what happened this lunch time? the teen girl step daughter of mine was in charged in cooking the rice. so when i arrived the house, it's time to eat. and my wife prepares the food and when she got in the rice, it wasn't properly done. she said, "joan, your rice is not good", but joan continued sweeping the floor towards the room. at second time, "joan your rice is bad" and third time, "joan!!" my wife blusted, and shouted again, "you idiot, i was talking to you and you never even bothered to look back at me, if only this plate will not get broken, you will see what you are looking for!"

Hi neil, so yours have got it too have they? I have explained to my son that one of the benefits of having a child is that sometimes they are expected to fetch and carry aroud the house in return for all the things which are done for them and sometimes it works but other times it's used against me. I can ask him 5 times in a row to please bring me a coffee and he hears not once, but please bring me a coffee and I promise you can stay up another half hour is clearly heard and he's rushing to put the brik on. Little does he know I've reset the clock to fool him Re the television I've found an effective remedy in threatening to cut the plug off and standing in front of him wielding a large pair of scissors. Works every time.

Hi neil, funny story about your step daughter, at least she cooked the rice even if she did it badly. I could get away with the TV threat as I rarely watch it as the programmes here are absolutely dreadful, the Greek ones that is, and everything is interrupted by really really long adverts anyway so the plug coming off would be easy to do. If I watch TV it's on the computer.

YASSOU NIECE, HAPPY MON. MY GRANDSON HAD HIS FIRST SOCCER GAME SAT. MORN SO I WENT UP FOR THAT. He did great, scored 3 goals, i was so proud of hi, him, his dad & i went to lunch then he came home w/me & spent the afternoon. he's a sweetheart, thanks for asking.

Hi Aunty, I'm so glad to hear you got to have a nice time with your grandson and watch his first game Mine wants to give up football this term as often it can run into another 4 hours after school with the newish crazy coach, so he's out from 7.30 am till after 8pm and says it's too tiring. I'm thinking he might regret it later but he sounds as if he means it.

Yassou Aunty, I think it's more of a boy and man thing. They seem to be very good at not hearing the obvious. Have you heard from your son and grandson this weekend Aunty, it reminded me when you said not being around people much?

Hi Tantrums, you're a man, you can admit the truth, does she also have to tell you to pick your socks up from the floor, hang up the towels, fix the dripping tap, none of which you choose to hear. Admit it, we've worked out that this begins as a boy trait and continues into what is supposed to be manhood

Very well said my dear friend! hahaha!

Hi jb, so you don't admit to practicing this yourself I see. The elderly can get away with this quite easily by pretending to hear nothing but of inconsequence whilst hearing everything and are also able to annoy everyone by turning their hearing aids up and down and then telling everyone that there is no need to shout at them.

i do have a hearing problem and it's a bit unpredictable. i certainly would never pretend not to have heard someone. mind you when i'm elderly i intend to take full advantage of everything that might annoy people. i'm already compiling a list of (hopefully) imaginary ailments that i can tell people all about. in great detail. oops, this is another 4 line response, telling the truth this time, it's not intentional (now it's 5 anyway)

You'd love to be old then over here jb as everyone would have to sit and listen to your long list of ailments with great respect if you plonked yourself down in the cafenion and sighed heavily. Of course if you get too annoying they will all start taking their coffee at another cafenion to avoid the mad old bat over there.

Hi sunny, see you have just shown that selective hearing is mainly a male preserve, I bet the person you hope will cook your favourite dish wouldn't have selective hearing if you did the impossible and offered to cook her favourite dish, or perhaps take her out. But typical male you expect someone else to cook it for you, and whilst cooking to answer the phone, the door bell etc. The simple truth is that women have to pick up after men rather than the other way round as men have developed selected hearing to an art form, and when it's mentioned over and over you then reduce said women to nags. A ring of truth perhaps? And I never sit and chat about jewerlry.too tedious for words.

Sorry Sunny, I only just saw this comment now, so glad to see you admit (partial) defeat. I hope your wife hears each and every day how much you appreciate her and her fine cooking.

agreed, male 'selective hearing' can be more prominent. (that's me, in case you confuse!). but there are some fields where women have more expertise and therefore considered their exclusive preserve. i do help in kitchen but i am a bad cook. occasional dining outside is okay, but i prefer simple home food to fancy restaurant food (someone spoiled my habit with fabulous cooking). it is also true that on Sundays, somehow my ears go on strike.....that might not change anytime soon.....

Hi malpoa, I think girls grow out of it and boys don't, unless you still pratice it with your brother in law by chance. It appears here that teenagers don't actually seem to go through a rebellious stage, fingers crossed, and my son does know when he can get away with it and when he can't. He has certain jobs he needs to do for me and when I ask he does do them, but I probably set a bad example by always saying I'll do that later if it's something tedious, and then it becomes I'll do it tomorrow. He was very good this weekend as we were both doing things on our own, he was upstairs and I was down, and there was a loud crash. I presumed he dropped something which broke and he presumed I did so we met in the middle to find that the wind had suddenly started violently and blown 2 coffee cups off the windowsill and onto the floor. He immediately went to get me a brush and put some bleach in the bucket so the coffee wouldn't stain the wall, without being asked, and even though he'd been engrossed in something. I don't need to shout often apart from the inevitable 'turn it down'.

Oh Malpoa, don't they just want to make you give up sometimes (men). Why does a grown man need to be told to clip his own fingernails, why. My ex husband used to stand over me sometimes advising me how to cook a meal, why, either cook it yourself of get out of my kitchen. I suggest a short break away for you whilst at the same time insisting the servants take a couple of days off to and see just how they manage to manage without you, on the bad side of that though you'll probably return to more mess than you ever imagined, as they won't have noticed the mess until you point it out to them.

That sounds like a good boy, helping mamma out. i have a style of doing things on my own and do not listen to anybody who has a diffrence in opinion as to waht i am doing. I do not other to listen becasue the work I do do not in any way affect them. Even if it does i do not listen and obey whatever they say. As I have said previously me and my husband are very much an ambivalent couple and when something goes wrong because I did it the way I wanted to without hearing to him, he says that I listen to only wha ti lkie to hear hi hi As of my bro in law is concerned, he does what I tell him to do. Like a simple thing: to cut his nails. If i simply ask him to cut his nails, he wouldnt, but if i take the nail cutter and ask him to cut nails, then and there, he obliges...Atleast he does...it is perfectly ok as it is the initial stae...i have planned more things for him in the future atleast I have some time before he brings someone home ha ha

Hi busybren, so you practice this. I'm a little confused here but am making a presumption that your 'dude' is your boyfriend and doesn't listen to you and laughs at your opinions, if that's right ditch him, the only guys that are worth being around are the ones that respect you, not who start make you wondering if you are stupid or boring. Wanting to tune out of boring gossip is normal, especially with those who could tell the tale in 1 minute and stretch it into ten and you smile and nod blankly wondering if they will ever just get to the point. That ones hard to sit through.

Hi again, there was no need to apologise, I just sometimes get unstuck by Americanisms. It still sounds to me though if he switches off when he listens to you, and you switch off when you listen to him, that a switch ought to be pulled somewhere.

First, I'd like to apologize for my statement errors above. I went back to review my response then yours and realized (like I have read on other posts...lol) that some of my wording is totally dumb (mylot responses that are mispelled or fragment sentences and such)! LoL ...But anyway... Yes you're right, my "dude" is my boyfriend and I used that form of experience, because I find that it's a great example of another form of "selective hearing" that people may experience, just as your experience with your child. Not in comparison though :P So, hense the past few months if we argue, he tunes me out completely. He would say his peace and then when I am giving response he only hears parts of what I said. Therefore I am victim LoL I guess my point is that I have selective hearing, but I get so upset when others do it to me.

Hi Kitty, how are you today? I actually believe this is a boy thing which they continue with through man hood, having read the other responses here. Your grandson and my son and the rest of male children I believe have indeed got the same illness. I was calling mine earlier to do something and he heard not a thing, using the excuse of his headset was on, but the moment I call that there is a nice fruit salad waiting he bounds up the stairs with hearing perfectly intact, despite the same headset being attached to his ears.

I agree with you kitty, girls might suffer from this dreaded illness whilst young but have to grow out of it while some boys never grow out of it at all.

Hello my friend I am doing fine my friend, thank you. LMAOOOOO, you know I didn't think of it that way, This is so true, so it starts from young and worsens as they get older my niece was like this as well, although she has grown out of it lol Men, can't live with them or without them, what are we to do lol

Hi highflyingxangel, that's a long user name. You sound unusual as it's been looking like girls outgrow this kind of thing and just boys continue you with it after childhood. However as an adult we can choose to be more selective who we want to be around so it gets easier to avoid spending time with people who drive us crazy, so maybe when you've figured out how to avoid people your hearing will return to normal.

Hi scarlet_woman, so your mum has now disproved the theory that we have just established that girls grow out of it whilst men contine to be burdened with this handicap throughout life. Threaten to deck your mum out with a nifty hearing aid, one of the nice big oldfashioned ones which draw lots of attention, she'll be hearing quick enough then. Please pass my best on to the slobs.

Hi lynnemg, a housefull of selective listeners, I don't know how you manage to get away with that one at all. I've found it's not allowed to work two ways, whilst I'm not heard I am expected to hear at once and obviously if I don't the voice just gets louder and louder. Another quirk I find is that when my son is on the telephone he expects me to be quiet but it only works one way.

So Letran it appears that too much mylotting is actually sending you deaf. This is not a good thing you know, you've gotten too addicted. But let me guess there's some poor woman aroud who cooks the food you don't want to come and eat. Get up right now, that's right, leave the computer this second, and go and plant a great big kiss on whoever did that cooking for you

Hi sasalove, no children tune out when they are into their own thing and don't want to be dragged away for anything that doesn't involve fun, I think you mean I nag him all day rather than let him sleep all day but I don't at all and I think most children don't want to hear the words bed time. I don't bother in the holidays which are rather long out here but have been trying to reintroduce him to normal time ready for the early starts now school has just returned. We've compromised on bed at 9pm for this school year but he still managed to drag it out till 10.30 last night, despite repeated efforts, then for some reason he can't get up at 7 on school mornings. For yourself selective hearing is a good way to deal with unasked for advice, it's one thing to ask but quite another to have it forced upon you. Turning your ear to someone speaking directly to you could appear rude so it might be simpler just to let your friends know you have a mind of your own

Hi yecal, of course they don't mean any harm by it, they do it as an avoidance tactic as really don't want to stop what they are doing unless something much more inviting is on offer.