A gift for an acquaintance's b-day. Should I give it?
@darknessfalls (180)
Philippines
September 13, 2009 6:39am CST
Well, I had been thinking about this for quite a long time now. There is this classmate of mine whose birthday is approaching but I had been doubting to give her a b-day gift as it might cause some misunderstanding that had formed not too long ago. Well, the issue here is that many of my friends had been teasing me that I have a crush on this acquaintance of mine but I really don't. I thought if I gave her a birthday gift during her birthday it might support the issue more. I don't really like entire issue and they don't seem to believe what I had been telling them. Do you think that I still give her a gift? or do you prefer not to as to avoid misunderstandings?
I don't think that she is dating anyone though so the problem isn't another guy. And I really do think of her of just an acquaintance. If you're questioning why I would gift her a gift despite being just an acquaintance, It had been my habit to give out a gift to anyone in our class despite our relationship. I even gave a birthday gift to the person I hated the most during his birthday and take note it wasn't a prank.
Help please...
5 responses
@resssaaa (445)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Don't be too conscious about giving a gift. There's nothing so malicious about since it's her birthday. I think it would probably be normal to be teased as lots of people find ways and look for reasons to tease you but since you have stated that you gave a tuft to the person you hate the most on his birthday then there's no reason to give a gift to this person. Plus, think of it this way: It's her birthday! People normally give gifts on birthdays.
@darknessfalls (180)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Well, the thing that I worry about is that her misunderstanding. I do understand the teasing but the problem I had been thinking about is that she might have heard it already. I'm afraid to say that I gave it to her only as an acquaintance. It's a bit rude to say it directly....plus, if I give it without clarification...misunderstanding might occur. Sorry if I didn't clarify this earlier
@resssaaa (445)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Well then don't get too affected. Just show that you giving a gift is just a normal gesture. And don't act weird or something that would make her think you're giving her a hint or whatever. And yes, don't tell her that you giving that gift does not mean anything as it may sound rude. Just act normal and go with the flow, let her think what she wants to think, just don't drop any hints that would make her thinking right.
@jenniely (41)
•
13 Sep 09
I don't think there is any problem giving gifts. Giving gifts is something showing that you remember her In her special day. Don't think what other people say just bear in your mind that she is your friend and that's it maybe you are not comfortable to the situation but don't worry I think everything will be fine. Go and send he r a gift from your heart being her friend.
@darknessfalls (180)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Thanks for the advice...I really appreciate it though I did specify that she is only an acquaintance and not really someone who is close to me as a friend. Despite that error, thank you again for the advice.
@much2say (55665)
• Los Angeles, California
13 Sep 09
Let's see . . . I will try to take this in the point of view of the girl you intend to give this gift to. If I heard rumors that someone had a crush on me, and that person gave me a gift (and we're not exactly friends), I would think that you were sending a message that you did indeed have a crush on me.
It would also depend on what the gift was . . . say, if it were flowers or a cute stuffed animal - that could be read as a romantic gesture. In fact, any seemingly thoughtful gift could be thought of as a symbol of love (unless you give her something like a hammer- ha ha).
Your friends will always need something to tease each other about . . . so don't worry so much about a misunderstanding with them. If it's not about your supposed crush, it will be about something else!! However, it wouldn't be good to have a misunderstanding with this acquaintance of yours. Have you ever thought that maybe she likes you? Have you thought maybe she would start liking you because of this thoughtful gesture?
I would make things perfectly clear, just like you did for the person you gave the gift to that you hated. I would write in a card or note that this is for her - just as a friend. I know you said you weren't friends, but it would help to take out the mystery for her - otherwise you may be be opening a can of worms for more misunderstandings. If I got an unexpected gift from a guy without any explanation, I would only "assume" things.
It's wonderful you are a giver - that's very sweet. It's up to you whether you give a gift to her or not . . . but my thinking is to avoid getting into situations where someone can get the wrong idea (it can be end up to be hurtful too). Make things clear from the beginning. Good luck!
@flyingforward (16)
• China
13 Sep 09
Maybe you are really in a crush, or you needn't explain so much.Calm down,boy.Just so-so,that's not something serious.Take it easy,aha...
@darknessfalls (180)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Unfortunately, I don't really have a crush on her. I'm just worried as this had happened before. well, that is why I had to be sure this time cause I'm not sure whether this incident is normal or not but thanks too for the advice. I'll take it easier. :)
