Writing a Resume

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So I'm rewriting my resume. I was laid off Friday, and I'm wasting no time getting a new resume written, and looking for a new job. But the hardest thing to do is brag about yourself. Sure, I'm a funny person, but that's not what a resume requires. I know the basics, but what are some over the top points I can include to get my resume looked at? I've had 4 years of college education, currently working on 4 degrees, Management, Business Administration, Accounting and Business, and Legal Studies. I type 65 wpm. And I'm a great cuddler. But this all sounds so mundane. What can I do to spice this up a little bit?