I reallllly want to respond... but then I'm glad when I don't
By vivasuzi
@vivasuzi (4127)
United States
September 14, 2009 10:51pm CST
Do you ever come across a discussion either here or on another discussion board where the person gets you really angry, and you really want to respond, but you hold yourself back? Sometimes I see discussions where the person who started it is obviously angry, and obviously out to start fights. They will get some people to respond to them, and then they will jump all over them saying how WRONG they are. They ask for honest opinions and then tell you your opinion is WRONG? How does that make sense?
Anyway I saw one of these type of discussions on another site today and I held back and really bit my tongue. I could see how the person was responding to others and felt that by getting involved it would only cause more stress for myself. I don't care how much I believe in some things, i'm not going to get into any discussion where it comes down to me being attacked and having to defend myself. In the end I feel MUCH better for not having responded in the discussion and was super happy when the moderator jumped in to say that this was a friendly site and we really needed kind and honest discussion, not attacking.
How about you? Do you ever bite your tongue, no matter how bad it hurts, because you know that in the end it's better for you? Some people aren't worth getting into discussions with if you can tell they are just going to attack anyone who disagrees. Or do you find yourself getting into these discussions because you just can't help yourself? Do you enjoy defending your beliefs or do you just get worn out?
2 people like this
3 responses
@flaredust (728)
• Indonesia
15 Sep 09
Yes I also encounter that kind of moment, flaming discussion sure attractive to attend, but it is worth nothing to me. One response we made can create us new enemy, downgrade our image, and earn us nothing as that discussion will deleted anyway. I stay away from things like that. All I need to do is cooling down, look another site to refresh my mind, and back again searching other worthy discussion to respond.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
15 Sep 09
Yep sometimes you just gotta close out that discussion and try to forget about it. On the site where I saw this, things don't really get deleted though, so it is still there and isn't going anywhere. However enough people jumped in to say the discussion was inappropriate (since the person asking for opinions was bashing everyone else's), so now I feel it's easy to move on since other people handled it. So sometimes you just gotta let others handle it instead of raising your own blood pressure :)
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
15 Sep 09
Usually, I don't hold back ....just because. I tend to be very opinionated but with some people you can see right off that speaking your mind will get you nowhere so what is the point? It all depends on my mood but yes, I have just skipped over certain discussions and thought....why waste my energy? Political issues especially, I back off from and mainly because I am never ever sure that I am right. I really don't 100% trust any of our government. Once in a while I jump in on one of those topics but I don't get real passionate about it.
1 person likes this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
15 Sep 09
That is true about political discussions b/c if you have 1 fact wrong people will jump all over you and discount everything you say after that. I agree with the mood thing. Sometimes I'm in the mood to fight back and defend, but a lot of times I'd just rather skip on by and go to a more productive discussion.
If I do get into some discussion that turns out to be really onesided, I usually drop out. Maybe the other person thinks they won, but usually I'm just not in the mood! :)
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
15 Sep 09
I know what you have seen and there are times that you have to read their responses before you really know what their actual motive is. I do and don't want to respond to some of these. I was involved with one such discussion before and really I don't understand how a person can be so angry that they have to come to a forum to vent. To me, that's pretty sad.
So there are some topics that I will stay away from but other times I do not. I think that a well worded response backing up yourself and not getting angry but being honest can help it from escalating. CAN, doesn't mean it always works. Sometime no matter how you word it or redirect it that it is your own opinion some hard headed, angry will still try to take down another alley.
So in the end you don't have to HAVE that last response. Sometimes it is easier just to walk away from it because you know you'd be getting more common sense if you turned around and started talking to a door.
