Love or Arrange Marriage

Hey, That is very good that you are happy, I am very proud of that! But for some people it doesn't work like that. Like if my parents would have an arranged marriage for me, they would get someone who they like, and most of the time the person doesn't even look attractive. Make sure you have a good day, Happy Lotting!!

Good for you fracker. I guess you haven't found the one you wanted before marrying, But for someone who has another relationship before having an arranged marriage, it's hard. As for me, if the person passed my standards and I could see that he's willing to love me forever, why not? But as much as possible, I'd choose love over an arranged marriage.

People in the modern world consider marriage a garden of love. You build your garden with lots of plants of love. When love extinguishes, plants die and the garden abandoned. However, in the old time, marriage was about family, resposiblity, wealth, social status, and sometimes politics. There were many kinds of plants in the garden, so marriage could not fall apart easily. I think nowadays people have higher standard about their marriage, and most of us want to pursue more individual inner feeling in marriage. It is about the combination of soul and body, not land and money. If marriage fails to provide certain level of intimacy, in body or in heart, people become frustrated; whereas in the old time when marriage was arranged for the purpose of social status, people did not look for individual experience, a couple could stay in wedlock even they hardly talked to each other. Nevertheless, today's arranged marriage may just be done because of tradition, without any political or social or financial purpose. Couples, unlike those in the old time, are actually keen to look for love in their marriage. They try to establish their new marriage with love, sawing lots of seeds of love plants in their gardens. If plants prosper, their marriage becomes more secured. Maybe it can explain why arranged marriage seems to have lower divorce rate. Since the couple start with an empty garden, they are more willing to work together and cherish every single bit that they receive from the garden. They want to find love in each other; once they find it, they feel more certain with their marriage. Whereas for couples who got married because of love, because love is already there, what they have to do is to maintain it. If one day they are unable to keep the fire which put they together at first, the relationship just dwindles. There is difference between seeking and keeping. Seekers always gain, and keepers can only lose. My opinion. :)

Since I have the choice, I would say Love and not arranged marriage. I want to choose who I spend my life with and not have other people choose for me.

Hi Fracker! pakhtun kho na ye??? good topic... i live in germany and ppl around me are surprised to know that i had not seen or even known my wife before we got married. Believe me, im the most happy guy. I got alot of stuff that i hadnt expected, really. i had thought that no one is perfect, well my arranged marraige came out perfect. I fell in love after getting married... As you said, in love marraiges, ppl try to be at their best, and when they get married, they have what they want, so they settle down to their real selves and then things start going all the wrong way. For us arrange guys, we are like,"oh man, we dont even know each other, this gotta work, we gotta make it work" and it works then. The approach towards life for love and arrange couples is totally opposite. I vote for arrange unless love is really worth it.. A love-arrange would be nice actually.. But now i dont care.. :)

ya...both luv n arranged marriages r sum times gud n sum times bad...fr ex: in luv marriage der r 2 types of couples r der...one s havin gud understandin with each other n so dey lead a gud life..the 2nd type s jus opposite to the 1st one..thn wat happen??so in love marriages also problem arises.. in case of arrange marriage too..,if sey understands between each othr..,thn no need of wory n problems n all...,but if it nt happens..thn the problems cant solve by any one.. so understanding is basement fr both luv n arranged marriage...Happy mylotting..

As much as I've heard that most of the arranged marriages are the ones that lasts, I prefer to take my chances and decide for myself. I can't imagine not even seeing the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. I had an uncle who chose his own wife, but he was very much for arranged marriages. Of course, the best thing to come innthat situation is if after a few months, or maybe even a year or two the two actually fall in love with each other. I just wonder how many just make it work because they have to. And I wonder how many know of other people they would rather be with - and who just happens to be single.

I will Definitely go for love... I just cant imagine to be arranged and get married at any point of my life! I married my husband as my own choice, right or not its my choice and i will take it and live with it ( If its a mistake, then my own mistake in my own life!), i would not let any1 else choose for me and make it like their mistake for my life. Well, if there is parental consent for the person i choose, nothing is more wonderful than that! Love or arranged if you are happy then everything in life works out for the good!

I congratulate you and your wife for a wonderful job even you have an arrange marriage still you have managed to love your wife. What I have now is love, I do not prefer arrange marriage because I do not like to be someone that I do not know and have this special arrangement to be engage. Well, this is only my opinion. You are lucky since you have a partner so sweet and caring. I wish if I have an arrange marriage I can have a partner like you have. A one who is loving, sweet, caring, and kind.

Marriage is a very holy relationship. Love marriage and arranged marriage, both are fine.I have heard negative and positive results in both Love marriage and arranged marriage. Those days love marriage was rare and always had a big heroic story behind it, but now its become common. So, both are sweet and nice, its in the couples hand TO HANDLE IT WITH CARE.

I will prefer to have a love marriage but I will arrang it too. I mean, I will choose the candidate then go for a date, will spend some time with him, then It will show that i am in love..... Then i seems that i am really in love with someone, I will talk to my perents about him for marriage... and then if my perents also like the men whome I selected, we will get married (Arrange).. So Simple "NEHA"

well acording to me love marriage i prefer but with respecting my parents idea beoz it will keep a good & happy family. so according to me it is equal to arrange marriage also.WEll knowing some one with heart & your parents like it to is the best girl to marry is't it?whats your opinion?

I am also married through arranged marriage and completed Silver Jubilee happily. We are enjoying life with utmost satisfaction. There were hardly any major confontations. I, therefore, opine that arranged marriages are the most successful wedlocks in almost all parts of the World.

Me personally, I would choose a love marriage rather than an arranged marriage. I have dated differenty people in my lifetime, and I am just now starting to settle down with the one I fell in love with. I feel as if I would have a hard time falling love with the person I was arranged with. There has to be come kind of connection between two people. If there is no connection, then you would become sad and then you live your life not being happy. I can't make myself love someone. It has to come naturally for me. This is only my opinion. I think it is wonderful how some cultures have arranged marraiges. Every culture is different. It is all what we grow up with and are comfortable with. If you are raised in a culture that love is arranged for you, then it is just like second nature to you. If love was arranged for some of us in the USA, then it would be very hard I would think.

Good thing your arrange marriage works. few are blessed with that kind of relationship. it doesn't really matters if love or arrange. what matters is respect and relationship with God. God Bless!

I don't believe in love marriage , since marriage it self an social event , while love is an natural events so how one can love from one persone only and even for all life , its just adjustment or nothing and finally love marriage it self convert in social life isn't it its just my view friend , don't take it personally

In the lighter sense, I would like to prefer Love marriage since A known Evil is always most preferred than the Unknown DEVIL.:-). Have a great day ahead and HAPPY MYLOTTING. Cheers:-)

Whenever we talk of Indian wedding, we try to associate it with arranged marriages. Due to the social structure, the concept of arranged marriage is prevalent in the Indian wedding scenario, since ages. On the other hand, love marriages were considered as a taboo among many Indian people, who do not have a modern outlook of life. For them, two people should tie the wedding knot only with the consent of their parents and the blessings of their relatives. Nonetheless, love marriages are prevalent in almost all the societies of India, given the fact that they are still considered inferior to the weddings arranged by many parents in the country. People supporting the concept of love marriage strongly believe that it is very important to know the partner before marrying him/her. On the other hand, people who believe in solemnizing the wedding with the permission of parents and relatives think that arranged marriages are long lasting. In this article, we have discussed love marriage vis-à-vis arranged marriage. When it comes to love marriage, the two people tie the nuptial knot only after falling in love with each other and probably, after knowing each other for a long time. They get ample time to explore both the good and the bad things about each other, well before marriage. This helps them to develop a good comfort level after marriage, very effortlessly. On the other hand, if two people do not know much about each other, when their marriage is arranged by their parents, then they might take some more time to develop a level of comfort, understanding after marriage. Here, love marriage scores more than arranged marriage in this case. It is said that compromise is a factor that decides whether the marriage would work out or not. In case of love marriage, people might expect more from their partner, largely because they have fallen in love before marriage. This leads to lesser compromises, as the person expects more from his/her partner. On the other hand, compromise and adjustments form the foundation of arranged marriage, largely because the married couple does not have any preconceived notions or expectations from one another. The compromise factor might work wonders in case of most of the arranged marriages, while in love marriages, that might prove to be yet another cause for altercation. Due to this factor, people consider arranged marriage as long lasting and better than love marriage. In case of arranged marriage, the married couple could resort to their parents or acquaintance at the time of financial crises or other problems. In addition, if the marriage proves to be a failure, they have a number of people around them to put seek support or to put the blame on. Their parents would come forward to solve the problems between the couple, if they have married with the elder's consent. This is the reason why arranged marriages are considered secure for the people in India. On the other hand, the couples who have solemnized love marriage would have to tackle all their crises on their own, because they might have been separated from their family. Resentment drives the parents and the relatives to remain dormant in case the married couple wants any financial or moral support - a common sight seen in love marriages in India. Due to this factor, many people do not want to marry without their parent's consent, because they would be ultimately cut off from the family ties.

The marriage are decided on heaven.People should have done good things in previous birth to get a better wife

My parents had a love marriage and have been together for over thirty years - happily married, so I lean towards love marriages because I have an example of it working out and I can't imagine not being able to choose who I spend my life with. But arranged marriages seem to work very well and you don't see a lot of divorces coming from them. You are lucky you have found someone who is a good match for you, some people are not so lucky. A woman at my work has an arranged marriage because it was a convenient life choice, she say's she's not happy but divorce is not an option for her culture and it's messy and complicated so she would rather stay in a unhappy marriage. Luckily most of us have the option to choose whether or not we want an arranged marriage, some people want to be married by a certain age, have kids at a certain age and look for a partner with stability and a good job. Other people are willing to wait for love, I think it's an individual choice about what sort of relationship one is looking for. You might get lucky and fall in love with an arranged marriage but in my opinion marriage is hard enough with love, why would you want to start one without it?