Born first? D you think it can shape your personality?

I'm the only child in my family. some times I feel I'm lucky because I can get all the love & no need to share anything. Some times I feel sad because I feel that I should have a sibling which would have been nice. There are many studies conducted which proved that birth order can influence your personality. Birth order theory outlines four types of personalities- first born, second born, only’s and youngest. If you were 3rd of six children then circumstances would have meant that you either functioned predominantly like one of the big four above. [b] First born[/b] – They are the leaders, the drivers and the responsible types. These people like to manage others but first they need to manage themselves. They love to feel in control and can feel uncomfortable with surprises or feeling out of their depth. They are conservative in their outlook & their ability to focus on a goal and their propensity to organize others means they can achieve whatever they put their minds to. Approval of authority is important for this group so don’t expect them to rock the boat too much. First born, above all else, want to forge ahead. Second born – They are the ‘peoples’ people, the ones who compromises, and the flexible operators. They are likely to get motivated by a cause and will enjoy working alongside people. They will often choose tasks or even a job that will give them a feeling of belonging. Friendships are important to this group & they often need others to drive them but they are the glue that holds groups together. Relationships are important to this group so make sure they included in all activities. Seconds, above all else, put people first. Youngest – They are the initiators, ideas people and the challengers. This group is the creative, live-for-the moment types who can put some fun and verve into activities. While the message for first born is to lighten up it seems that this group need to take things more seriously sometimes. Great initiators and very impatient doers, they always get something started but often are not the greatest of finishers. This group will often do anything to be noticed so make sure you pay heed to their efforts. Youngest, above all else, will blow your mind.Only’s – They are the quiet achievers, the finishers, they expect nothing less than the best. This group will raise the bar for everyone around them as nothing but the best will do. Their great strength is their ability to work for long periods of time on their own so they make great project finishers and strategic thinkers but they can be secretive and don’t deal well with conflict. Recognition is important to this group. Only’s, above all else, aim to please. Hope you understood something from these Happy Lotting

I am the first child of my parents. I think you may be right because my brother was born second and he has a learning disability. What is weired we are 4yrs apart and the learning disability set him back 4yrs. He had a brain tumor the size of a half a dollar close to his brain.

Hi Sree! OMG! How deep you think to find out such an interesting topic to start a new post. I am the eldest in my family, I have one younger brother only, who is 9 years younger to me. We used to live in a joint family, when I was born and I would receive lots of love and affection from the elders in the family. I was pampered. My brother, I feel, did less amount of care of attention, as much I got. As far as my own children are concerned, I do not find much difference in them, they both have good communication skills and they are more intelligent their parents (i.e. me and my better half)…………….LOL!

I don’t get the connection. I am the middle child. Inside our family I can speak my mind. My family sometimes listen to my opinion, I give my opinion if I have a certain experience over a certain situation. My sister is the oldest sometimes she directly ask me over a certain things, she need advices over something and she asked me if I am okay with that and when I say yes she do it, when I said no she won’t go with it. In other words she always follow what I said, she have this big faith in me. Sometimes I stand as the older one between us. We have this give and take to be the eldest despite the 5 years old gap. As of my personality, I am sometimes confident but sometimes shy. What I sure is I do my part us a family member and I speak my mind.

Hi Sreekala, Yes birth order certainly helps in some extent to build our personality.. I am the first child for my parents.. when compared to my sister I am more bold and independent in my decisions.. but my sister is still depending on either me or my parents to decide on anything.. I used to manage my home works when I was in primary school itself but my sister was completely dependent on me till she finish her high school..

I am the first child out of two and I think being the elder one does shape your personality..I had to become much more responsible then my brother..I have had faster growth during childhood compared to him..And I got to spend more time with my parents..I have the advantage of parents giving more values to what I say but pampering him a hell lot..He will always remain the young cute baby for them! being the first child my parents had to learn many things while I was growing up but for my brother he has ready-made solutions to every problem..Enough of my blabbering..Have a nice day!

Hi Sree, this topic is really interesting. I find it’s much funny after reading taztheone’s comment in #5. Yeah, I have acquired more information about the theory outlines personality related to the birth order now. I have two brothers and a younger sister. My brother is the first child in my family. He is very good in speech and is sociable. My younger brother is a person of few words. He was rather shy and always felt reluctant to work alone till his teens. He has changed a lot after beginning the world for several years. He could handle all the everyday concerns so well. He even helps the other siblings a lot to cope with some of our routine business after that. if I’m not wrong, we have the same birth order, right? Concerning my birth order, I think it’s better for my friends to air their opinions respectively how my personality is. It’s a great fun as well to learn how others see me from the birth order. Sometimes we might learn a little by a little the personality from our loved ones, good friends, colleagues and … from the daily chitchat. It’s nice to weed out the ill ones Have a nice day and happy posting

I think it's mostly the parent. My first son began talking when he was 10 months old. A day before his first birthday, I bore his brother. I was careful to give him almost as much attention as I used to, only his brother was there getting my attention at the same time. My first and my second both began crawling, walking and talking before babies usually do. Of course, I was a stay at home mother that made plenty of time for the children and I think that had something to do with their developmental skills, mental and physical. I also think people are born with a certain temperament that has nothing to do with birth order. My youngest has always been a daredevil, climbing and jumping off things as soon as he could stand and before he was really walking. My oldest is more thoughtful and cautious and would think before he did most things.

generally the first born child is the more intelligent and the more talented. the more interested to study and shine in the school. while the next child usually less interested in school or bright. i don't know if it is because the first child was given more attention that the second child. or was it something to do with genetics that first child get the best of their genes.

Hi Sreekal, I agree with your views that it does matter how you are place within your family. I am a first child and even when I was very young a certain amount of responsibility was put on me and I was expected to shoulder it whereas my youngest sister was never done that even when she was a teenager or grown up. In fact even today my mother expects me to shoulder all the burdens saying that being the eldest you have to do it ...I dont know whether to feel honored or angry because sometimes it can land you in a spot...

Hello Sree, I am an eldest of 4 siblings,but,as far as i know there is no problem arised with my brothers and sisters.I guess they are even more talented than i do.My two brothers were both singers and has talents with musical instruments and even our youngest sister,she is a music teacher and she plays the piano well. The only thing i like being an eldest is,they respected me and listens to my advices. Have a great weekend my friend

Hi Sreekala, now that u bring it up, I think it does. :) Well, if we are the first, it is also the first time our parents get to be parents, isn't it? Their inexperience shows. At first, they are tentative, bordering to being overprotectiveand then when somebody remarks, which people do, they go overboard the other side, and then there are genuine situations which they really do not know how to handle - and one parent says one thing, and another says the entirely opposite. So we are truly specimen no.1 in the scientific experiment. LOL. By the time the second one comes along, they have learnt quite a bit, and so we are no longer that precocious to them, which I think is tougher to take from child's perspective. In any event, things start improving when the third one arrives, because we've got even with the second one, whom we perceive as our rival for affection - the second one deserved what was coming so to say. LOL. Kidding. I really dont think it matters.

no,:( i am the second one, and i think that's true that if you are born first it really shapes your personality. and your attitude. i have an elder sister, she's really good in studies well, i am not so good in studies. but i think that's natural because i am the second child. lol

Interesting post ...i think depending on how much each family member contributes to the learning of the child usually determines how smart they will become. Usually first child receives all the attention from the parents and so he is usually the smartest.A second child though,would retain knowledge passed on by his parents and his older sibling, and depending on how old the sibling was would determine how much knowledge the second child would recieve.If the first born was of an older age,the second born would be able to receive much more knowledge,but at the cost of the older sibling leaving the home at an earlier date.there by ending how much knowledge could be passed.After a long line of the children through the intelligence begins to rise again and even increase past the first.This is due tothe fact that the younger children have many old siblings to receive knowledge from. In other words, children who are born late in to very large families benefit from the intellectual contributions of their older siblings .BUT BUT BUT first born child does is abig deal,simply because its a first for his oe her family.Until a second child comes along,family and friends usually shower first born kids ends .upwith lot of natural confidence. YEA YEA ...im the first child of my parents and all i explain above is my opinion. i hope this responce work.

Ofcourse being born first will fetch you some respect from rest of the siblings at the same time it casts some reponsibility to set an example for others to follow. In that sense it shapes our personality. In order to demand respect from the younger ones one needs to be well groommed and sacrifice certain things to a certain extent. Regarding the not talking by the second child I have to completely disagree with you as the case is just opposite in my case. I am the elder one here and I consider myself a taciturn,outside the court, whereas the younger one is garrulous and sometimes have to be scolded to keep the mouth shut.So I think it depends on the persons.Now a days younger ones are given more freedom than the elder ones and they grow up with that sense of freedom which makes them talk wildly without any decorum, most often.

Hi Sreekala, this is an interesting discussion. I think the order of one's birth, although it's not the single most influential factor in shaping a person's personality, I think it does have an effect especially based on how your parents treat you based on the order of your birth. There are 3 of us siblings, I am the middle child, and I have an older sister who is a year older than me and a younger brother who is 5 years younger than me. Being the oldest, my sister is very responsible, and always assumes responsibility when our parents are away. Not only that, even when we are with friends, like when we traveled as a group, although my sister isn't the oldest, I really felt that she was the one to take charge and is like the older sister of the group. As the middle child, although we are just a year apart, my personality varies a lot from hers. I am very laid back and carefree, and I think it's because I don't often have to the responsible one because my sister always takes charge. Our younger brother on the other hand, well, he's like our parents' favorite, and we feel that out of the three of us he has had or was given the best attention, best opportunities, and etc. He isn't spoiled but he has that confident kind of attitude. He's a go-getter, same as my sister, but it varies in a way that my sister is more like "I WILL DO IT!", while he is "I CAN DO IT!" I don't really know how to explain it well, but I hope in a way I was able to express myself.

hi, I am the third child,i think it is very important that lives in variable conditions!

hello sreekala! i am a first born in our family... well e are just 2 actually. i think its true that somehow, our position in our family do something in building our personality... like me, i as an only child for 10 years...and during those days, i am like a baby to my parents, and just play and do nothing much in the house...but when my brother as born, i learn to become more responsible, i help my mom in taking care of my baby brother, in doing some household chores... and also, i think due to this responsibility that's why i also learn to be independent and stronger...coz i always believe that i should be the one to protect my brother, the one to help my parents, something like that... i guess most of the time, its the first born who have the stronger personality in the family... and as i observed with some middle child (specially if they are 3 siblings) usually they are the quite type and a little inferior? i don't really kno but that's what i saw with some of my neighbors and cousins... have a good day sreekala!

Hi sree I am the youngest of five siblings who is pampered by the other siblilngs and the parents as I am the youngest. They always treat me as their apple of the eyes and pet me always. So I do not know whether the birth order can do something with our personality. If I were born the eldest of all, may be I would have experienced enough to respond properly.

Born first is a welcome gift for the parents and therefore gets all the pampering from all the relatives around too. But not when you are born 8th in the family which I was. My grandfather did not even come to visit me just because I was the fifth girl child! But destiny has its role in turning the tables. I was a sick child and that was the trump card in my case in that I was all attention which gave them time to also appreciate how charming and sweet I was (lol). My father particularly always gave me more attention as I was almost saved from dying of some ailment. And so there you are. Nothing to do with whether you are born first or last but destiny guides ones status and then one thing leads to another and the apple cart topples many a time in ones favour even if one is born in between!!