Why Should I have to sacrifice
By doglady112
@doglady112 (604)
Canada
September 18, 2009 9:30pm CST
Hi there Mylotters,
So like many of you out there my husband just lost his job. I feel it was totally by his own hand because he was excepting calls from his female friend at work. But the way he puts it it's because his boss didn't like him. Earlier on this evening he's asking me to sacrifice things in my life that I need like my cell phone. It's the only way that my councillor can get a hold of me to book meetings. He's also asking me to think of other things that I can sacrifice. I told him that maybe he should think about sacrificing things too, like Friday's out with your friends. I know this sounds totally selfish but am I wrong. If your boss is telling you that you're excepting too many personal calls? Wouldn't you stop excepting calls unless you knew they were serious. Like calls from your wife as opposed to your girlfriend. His boss told him months ago this was bothering him, also his boss said that his head wasn't in the job. So you tell me should I be the one sacrificing here? The way I see it my husband lost his job on purpose and now he expects me to pay the price. What do you think?
9 responses
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
19 Sep 09
So he has a girlfriend that kept calling him at work? why would she be calling him at work? Why does he even have a girlfriend?
He most likely lost his job because he was spending all of his time on the phone with this person and not doing what was required of him.
I still have yet to meet someone that has been fired just because the boss doesn't like them.
Why are you the one being asked to sacrifice things? Do you go out on the weekends with your friends? Do you work? I think something needs to give somewhere, maybe starting with the girlfriend & friends time....
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
19 Sep 09
Okay, I just had to respond to this....that is some pretty lame advice....
let it go the way its going? He's lost his job and has a girlfriend!
cherish the moments what you are spending with him and make them more precious then anything? What moments? he's spending his time on the phone with a girlfriend and weekends out with his friends!!
you dont know what is going to happen tomorrow so enjoy the today....Okay, that makes sense!!
dont force yourself or him to a relationship?? That is what a husband and wife are supossed to have, a relationship!!
....enjoy the life? After what? she gives up her cell phone and everything else she has?
@Msabu09 (111)
• United States
19 Sep 09
Umm....he lost his job for accepting calls from his GIRLFRIEND? How on earth can that be about you? And you're ok with him having a girlfriend?
I think your husband doesn't seem to take into account who you are, what you feel. There doesn't appear to be any respect for you.
However, the only way you will not be the one asked to sacrifice is if YOU stand up for yourself. It seems as though he's used to telling you what to do, getting his own way. Do you want it to change? Then somewhere, you have to find a place where you choose what's best for you instead of doing what he wants you to do. Relationships are about two people sharing - not one submitting to the other.
Wow.
@doglady112 (604)
• Canada
21 Sep 09
Actually I am standing up for myself. When he started telling me that I was going to be the one doing the sactificing while he gives up nothing. I told him no way. Also I'm getting ready to leave him soon. As far as the girlfriend, I'm not alright with it. He threatened my life if I did anymore complaining to outside sources. So I'm afraid of him right now.
@Koriana (302)
• United States
19 Sep 09
I'm sorry, but I think he's the one who needs his cellphone taken from him?? lost his job because he was too busy on the phone to do his work....too busy on the phone because he has a what??
the two of you need to sit down with pen and paper, list all the bills that need to be paid, and all the income you have, then the two of you need to go through and see how much money needs to be cut, and agree on where it needs to come from. who knows, maybe the friday nights out and the cellphone needs to go.
but, before I would give up anything (except him) the first thing that would go is the girlfriend!
@satan88 (584)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
19 Sep 09
i think your husband should be the one who should grow up and accepting responsiblities for his own doing. he should be the one who sacrifices all that stuff. Not you. it's his own fault. Although i also think marriage is a partnership so maybe he sacrifices 80% and you sacrifice 20%
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
19 Sep 09
I think your husband is very immature and what's with the girlfriends cr@p? He lost his job because he wasn't producing...he wasn't worth the money he was being paid...and his boss got sick of him. He can spin it any way that he wants but in the end, he was worth more gone than there. You should not be the only person to sacrifice. There are two of you so the responsibility does not fall on only one of you. Your husband should give up every penny that he spends unnecessarilyl until her finds another job. Anything that you can give up is a bonus...but he's the one who lost his job...and the reason doesn't matter.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
19 Sep 09
I think that your husband is being very immature here. Granted the loss of income to your family means that there are going to have to be sacrifices made, I am not going to deny that fact. However, the sacrifices need to by made by all. It shouldn't be up to you to bear all of the sacrifices because your husband lost his job. He should sacrifice as much as he can and then you could perhaps make a few sacrifices.
Of course, all of this said thinking that the problems between the two of you will work themselves out. How pathetic that he lost his job for talking to his girlfriend at work. Hmm, sometimes I wonder what exactly wives are for anymore except to be the scapegoat as he is wanting you to be in the sacrifices that need to be made from his job loss.
@resssaaa (445)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Why does he even have a girlfriend? That does not sound right. Based on the situation, I think you have no culpability in it. Your husband has the full culpability. It would be then okay if he lost his job because seriously he got fired by not doing anything wrong. But seeing that he has been doing something wrong, you should not let him get away with it. You don;t have to pay the price dear. It's okay to sacrifice, as long as it is in the right place, but if you sacrifice these things now, you'll just end up consenting him more. Although, if he's really learned his lesson, and is ready to accept the consequences for the actions he's sorry for, maybe, you should help him a bit.
