Are the days of Mrs, Mr, surnames now gone?

"My electric bill comes to me with my fathers first name on the end, as do bank statements and everything else. To those not familiar with this system it is whacky to say the least. " That's really interesting. So let me see if I have this correct. So if your real name was thea and your father's name was John that your mail could come thea John? I hope thea isn't your real name I was trying to use fake names. If my last name was 6-8 syllables I would want to use my dad's first name too

Almost spot on there Zeph. My bills are addressed to me as example' Thea Xhoritothiatias John. My surname would be in the middle. The only requirement here to open a bank account is a photocopy of my passport and my fathers first name. This is handy as we don't have actual addresses here, only in towns, the name of my village is my address. Same thing to get a telephone connection, tax number and fathers first name required. On making a query one day at the electric office a question was asked concerning the person who owned the land originally that my house is built on. They couldn't find his name in the computer as there were so many people with the same name so of course I was asked to provide his fathers name. I couldn't recall his fathers first name off hand but then of course I remembered his father would of course have the same first name as the land owners son, so sorted. Are you beginning to realise it's all a little odd and time warped over here? It's all true you know.

Hi Zeph, I'm not sure I'd like to be referred to as my sons mama to my face as it would appear to define ones purpose as being just a mama, but if I don't know someone I'm being introduced to then the other person will invariably say I'm the koubara of or the mama of said son, as son is known to everyone by reputation at least and the koubara is famous in the area for many things. I was just saying to book that Greek surnames are practically impossible to say as are generally at least six to eight syllables long and murder to remember and no one uses them at all. People here are not recognised by their surnames but by their fathers first name, which is why this has to be provided on all documentation (not joking). My electric bill comes to me with my fathers first name on the end, as do bank statements and everything else. To those not familiar with this system it is whacky to say the least.

Hello Kyrios Sunny, greetings from Thea-ji. You just made me think that we don't use anything but user names on here, for instance one of my friends here is now 83 I believe, but the only form of address I use to her is Hatley, whereas in real life her age would mean I would always address her as Kyria Hatley. Something to think about.

hello kyria thea-ji. (okay don't expect this address to become a routine...becomes too long..) indeed we do miss upon the age factor in places like here. perhaps that is a reason we can discuss so freely...something we might not do in real life.

Hi Hatley, this is the thing when these things change by generations, if I were to meet you I would address you as Mrs Hatley as you are older than I, but on line I call you Hatley, which is quite rude as it is just your surname, but luckily formality does not take precedence in internet usage. I don't like to hear children addressing their parents by first name, and will still be Mama to my son when I'm your age as Greeks retain that custom. Perhaps one day you will invite me to call you Patsie but I would never presume.

Hi Opal, someone else not to keen on surnames I see, I'm with you on that one and don't particularly like my own either but plan to retain it as it could cause potential difficulties in I ever want to venture outside the country if my son and I were to have different surnames. I make an effort to be on top of all the customs here so I don't go round getting it all wrong.

Hi Iriene, sorry that I was usurped in my attempt to respond to you and I'm rather curious if the green man below has any understanding to impart about greek life style. I think that when the youngsters here refer to adults by first name they are doing it in a fond way, and not in a way of disrepect, and maybe it's a sign that I am not yet perceived as old enough to become Kyria, or Mrs Thea. Maybe their children will address me as such and thus make me feel old. It's strange to hear though how in other cultures you adopt a family name for people unrelated, in the UK the term uncle refers either to a real Uncle is a form of address which children use for their Mama's boyfriend which isn't too good as a child may end up having lots of Uncles. The grandma of one of my son's friends did tell my son to call her grandma, when I told him to call her Kyria, so I'm always getting it wrong.

Ah, that is the same formality that we are supposed to use in the United States. To minimize effort of distinguishing my relatives, I generally refer to them by M.R. or Mrs. regardless of how well I know them. The trend over here is for younger children to refer to their elders by their first names, but to later use formalities once they have grow older.

Hi ms Kitty, I'm not suprised you don't like being called ma, I never knew people went round addressing others like that though I've seen on TV shows the terms Ma and Pa, but these were reserved for parents. Well I've learnt something from you here today Kitty. I'm glad to hear you don't let them get away with it. I wonder if you call them Pa back?

Morning ShepherdSpy, I can understand completely what you mean by the complications of nicknames and it reasly does have to learnt. Many people here have the same first name so have to be identified usually be either a relationship or a physical trait, but never to their faces. Personally I applaud the ending of Mrs John Smith, and long may she reign as Mrs Joan Smith, rather than a chattel of her other half. (re something you raised the other week, I do believe there is a direct link to links in introductions to low response, I'd recommend a short synopsis,though people seem to like them in politics.).

I am so pleased that there is a beautiful "niche" in the world, where good manners still reign. I truly am chagrined, today...and the Western World, way too much freedom of speech, with "mouth in gear, brain in neutral." Good manners, go a long way to a stress free atmosphere, I feel. My son (yes, I am proud) also insists on good manners around me! He is 30, but will take friends/associates to task for infractions! You intrique me even more, with Greek cultures, thank you! Sun is shining briliantly today, here...hard to think about winter. A great day, to you, thea!

Hello Shirley, you would be delighted to see the good manners of the Greek children here, and I'm sure that the informality with names must not be a recent change of custom as it would take an awful lot to change a custom. Of course before the war years a girl would not talk at all with a man who was not a family member as it would have been dishonourable so must only have used family names. It's good that you can still be proud of TJ's manners.

That is interesting, considering how my Chinese parents taught me the exact same thing. Although I do not quite agree with your opinion of how the changes in the new generation's ways of addressing their elders is a sign of disrespect, it does seem sad that they are using formalities much less frequently. The reason why I do not consider it disrespect is because the children are speaking in that manner they were taught, because the people who raised them most likely did not emphasize the significance of the matter strongly enough. And once a society no longer uses certain expressions, they become archaic.

Exactly I meant the same brokesurveytaker, they are learning the same from home. The reason I wrote those here, once I was traveling in a bus and an old lady she supposed to be get down the near stop and another young lady passenger scolded her in hindi and called her 'tu'(which means 'you')it is ok to call youngsters or friends but definitely it treated as a disrespect if we use the same for elders. The old lady asked her, is the manner your patents taught you. When I responded, that incident was in mind. I don’t say that youngsters are disrespectful, when you deal with strangers you have to show the respect at any cost. Otherwise it will destroy your worth. Welcome to mylot brokesurveytaker,

Hi Sreekala, I don't think it is a sign of disrepect here for the younger ones to address someone they are familiar with by first names, as they wouldn't do it to someone they weren't familiar with. There is no lack of respect in Greek culture on the whole,it is a very polite society. We also have the familiar and unfamiliar you in Greek, and this is invariably used with someone older or between two parties who do not know each other, such as a taverna owner and a customer. Of course if the customer was to return a second time then they'd most likely be greeting each other by first name but still using the more formal use of you.

Hi Humbug, you've made me think back to the UK now and remember how I would correct someone if I didn't know them but they started to call me by my first name, perhaps someone like a slimey estate agent when I was in effect employing them considering the rip off charges involved. I don't like it when people insert your name needlessly into the converstation to butter one up as it were. The children here address their teachers as Kyria/Kyrios, followed by first name, whereas the teachers and myself are on first name terms, but that's because we will also see each other in social settings as a small place. Certainly one of my sons former class teachers always greets me say in the supermarket, by name and with a double kiss, but that's Greece. I really like that here there is one form of address always used for strangers, for instance if anyone stood on my toe in the bank queue they would automatically say sorry Kyria, so there's no Mrs,Ms,Miss or even ma'am involved.

Hi j00nior, glad to hear you're more comfortable in a more relaxed environment. Here the school children address there teachers as Kyria/Kyrios (the nearest equivalent to mr/mrs) together with their first names, and even if eating at the same table socially they still address them as such. I don't know if that will change when secondary school ends, but the next step then is a year of national service so don't think there will be much informality there.

Hi Sweetchariot, that's why I prefer our Greek term of Kyria as it is used for any woman of any age, married or single. It can be used to address a 21 year old single woman as well as a widow in her 80's and there is no change to indicate a change in age. I used to use the term Ms at work in England with people I didn't know as my marital status was none of their business, but certainly work colleagues should be called by their first names. Only the managing director got away with being Mr surname.

Hi vandana, you suprise me by saying the English use of Mr and Mrs is dying out in India, I thought traditions there would be much slower to change. The only time surnames are really used here is on documentation but that is with a first name only, not with the equivalent of Mr or Mrs. Most professionals would introduce themselves now with their first names, but a bank manager for instance would address me as Kyria as I'm the customer. But the dentist and I address each other with first names for example, which is far more reasonable when they have their fingers in ones mouth, than being formal.

Hi dreamr, that sounds like a pretty sensible way of going about things. The children here call the teachers Kyria or Kyrios and then their first names which is nicer than Mr and surname but still shows respect. I think I'd rather my sons called me by my first name as their parents do though rather than having to wait until they grow up, as long as they address people less familiar to them with the appropriate Kyrios/Kyria.

I forgot to say but even sometimes people call other's mom's or dad's as "mom and dad" even though it's not their parents. For instance, we have a friend who comes over and will address my fiance's mom as "mom" sometimes... It's out of respect, and it acknowledges that he appreciates her.

tHAT IS GREAT. I'M AFRAID THE YOUNG PEOPLE HERE ARE NOT BEING TAUGHT MANNERS LIKE I WAS & MY CHILDREN WERE. I think when they are not taught respect for their parents , they will never know to respect others, very sad. Your son could call me ms. jo as the boy next door does, i would like that alot better than antique lady. u have a good day. aunty.

Hello Aunty, I have to say that the children here are shining examples of good manners and respect for others, and I don't mind the children who are particular friends of my children calling me by name, but they would always stick a Kyrios or Kyria in front if it was someone they didn't know or was much older. I well remember my koubara telling me off for not addressing someone as Kyrios rather than by name as I did, but that annoyed me as it was someone I've known for several years and always addressed by name. I always try though to go by the local customs. I met a wonderful Greek lady in her late 70's on the beach this summer and she introduced herself by name but I addressed her as Kyria name as a sign of respect. But outside of the culture one is used to one needs to be careful, I wouldn't approve of my son calling you Jo, so you would be introduced as Mrs AntiqueLady. I'm glad that we have infromality here on mylot though and don't have to address fellow users as Mr and Mrs. My own mother still addresses mail to my son as Master which I don't like the use of at all with its silly connotations.

Hi yparson, actually if it's a buisness calling the house I would get irritated by the use of my first name rather than a title as it is too familiar, especially if its by someone calling to try and sell something. When its that kind of call I just pretend I can't understand Greek and they soon go away.

Hi Barbietre, that's eminently sensible, being referrred to as Mrs someone sounds like being an attachment rather than an individual. I particularly dislike the use of say Mrs John Smith for a woman called Joan. I have a widowed aunt who still refers to herself like that even though she's been alone for about 30 years.

Hi satan, that's quite unusual I would say for teachers to want the children to just call them by their first name, here we combine the first name with the prefix of either Kyria or Kyrios to balance the formal and informal.