Will you stay with a childish friend?
By Curlann
@annierose (21588)
Philippines
September 19, 2009 7:27am CST
I have this friend who I can say is good with me and understand me whenever I have a problem.I am same with her and most of the time, I am the one doing the understanding because there are timesn that she have this tantrums. But sometimes, she is acting like a child so much. For example, last time that we were having our lunch. She already finished hers and I was not able to eat early because I have to do something important. When I am about to eat, there is no more chair for me. I asked her if she can lend me the chair where she is sitting since she already finished her lunch but she hesitate. She told me to look for any chair outside but I am really hungry and it is too late for lunch. Then after a while, she gives her chair and just says something which sounds like I am not thinking of her. I did not say anything but just start to eat since I am really hungry.but somehow I feel like a little disappointed on what she said about me that I do not think of her just because of the chair.
How about you? Have you experienced same with your friends?
3 people like this
20 responses
@satan88 (584)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
19 Sep 09
hmm that's an odd story. i don't think she's being childish but she is being mean to you even though you are friends. i think there shouldn't be a problem as long as she is good with you and can understand your problems most of the time.
1 person likes this
@martinatintin (85)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Hello!
Yes if he is a good childish friend then i will stay by his side, but if not then i will not. Not all childish friends are bad it just they are so sensitive when it comes to a certain kinds of things right? So maybe the best thing to do is pick who is the right childish friend.
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
21 Sep 09
when my friends do stupid things with me, i do it back to them and see if they like it. usually, they will feel stupid and shut up, and mostly likely watch themselves next time they do it. but there are people who just dont think and just dont realize what they are doing. maybe they r just slow in the brain or something. so, have pity on them, they just can help it. that is they way they are.
@think_twice (553)
• India
20 Sep 09
What matters that chair or friend to you? Think It. If I have such a nice friend, really I will pardon her. You said she is doing childish like things. So is that experience more unexpected from her? She has done such good things for you so please pardon her. But let her explain at a good moment what you want her to do at that time. But don't miss here.
@vandana7 (100123)
• India
20 Sep 09
Hi annierose, I think everybody goes thru that phase of thinking whether the friend is expecting too much or a relative is expecting too much. We do want everything in our lives to be picture perfect, dont we, and if things fall below that, we are disappointed. Hey, this feeling of resentment on her part is temporary, and so is urs. It will fade away. She wont even remember it a few days later. It is not as if u asked her for monies, and didnt return or she asked u for some and u didnt give her. That would be recorded, more correctly etched. And would surface, if ever there was a showdown between the two of u. C the difference? So forget it. Just chill.
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
20 Sep 09
Hello
I think we all may have come across someone in our life that have lets say childlike tendencies, I would suggest you sit this person down and try to explain things to them, hopefully they will understand and try to do things a little different, I know someone like this and whenever I try to talk about it she brushes me off, I felt she was unable to have an adult conversation so I just ignored her alot of the time, she is fun to be with and I am glad I stuck it out, she has changed alot and although at the time I thought she did not listen to me, she proved me wrong and made a change for the better, hang in there this too shall pass, lets hope
Thank you, good luck.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Sep 09
hi annierose if Ihad a childish friend who gave in to tantrums i would tell her either stop woth the the tantrums or I will leave until'yoget better control of yourself. I hate to see an adult act like a spoiled little kid. A good friend doesnt act like a three year old afte'all.
@charlies2805 (777)
•
19 Sep 09
Well, after reading your 'case', I think you shouldn't call your friend as 'childish'. =) It's about your own point-of-view. If I heard word of childish, I will take it as not-mature-yet set of mind, un-mature-yet attitude and behavior and something similar like that. =)
@pratyushtamhankar (859)
• India
19 Sep 09
This happens annie, I myself am a lot childish. I don't think you should be angry at your friend cause she was just having some fun. She didn't hurt you in any way, did she ? She might have done that because she might consider you to be her close friend and ya, she's right about this. Maybe nobody other than you let her express her childish ways. Maybe she's herself only when she's with you. I think you should appreciate that and have fun with her. I too feel bad when somebody gets angry with my childish ways (and this happens a lot. LOL) but then again, i behave so only because I'm comfortable with that person and I know he/she will understand me...
Keep smiling friend...
@my_name_is_coco (4333)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
I will not stay with a friend who throws tantrums and blames all the bad things that happen in her life to me.I don't want to let my self esteem go down.I want a friend who is understanding and will accept me,quirks and all.though the situation is a bit petty,you friend should have understood that you weren't able to eat lunch with her because you were busy.I think she got a bit selfish because she didn't wholeheartedly lend her chair.she didn't understand that you were busy.I am a childlike person;I love teddy bears and Minnie Mouse,but I don't throw tantrums when a friend of mine weren't able to join me for lunch.
@hashini85 (21)
• India
19 Sep 09
If Our friend is childish character we not should avoid them,jus think..every person have some negatives.ofcourse we too have some negative that others only can rectify,if they avoid us will we not get hurted..being child character it s not bad,they need to get still more growth in maturity not in physical,im saying about mentally...as we are friends we have the rights to correct them through by caring,not saying u need to be patience enough..make them understand when right time persist...as you saying there is more understanding between both,so each can discuss on some other day as a frankly manner that this thing coudn't liked from you...surely they will correct it and feel sorry for that and realize it...so you need to get adjust from your friends..we need to get irritated or disappointed when our friends back bites or not true to you.. compared to that these things are nothing, when we adjust for small thing not going to happen anything bad
@lilmissy2ua (11)
• Canada
20 Sep 09
Hi annierose
I have recently just split up my friendship with my best friend, we have been bestfriends for almost 3 years, but i am sorry i cannot deal with childish behavior. I find that when your an adult you dont really need to act like a spoild child when you dont get your own way stomp your foot on the floor, i found that she would get mad when i wanted to hang with another friend n she would not speak to me for weeks on end jelous i guess, but she would write to me n say i didnt like her because i was hanging out with others n she would cry i told her she needed to grow up.I would do everything for her n take the blame for everything no matter what it was because i did not want her to get mad, and when it came to her helping me she was never around, if i needed someone to talk to she was also never around now we are no longer friends its kinda sad but i guess when you are an adult its very hard to hang out with a child.
@stocky (2)
• Philippines
20 Sep 09
It would be better if you'll talk to her about that issue so it won't get worse. If you're a true friend, you will be honest with her. It would lessen also her attitude of being childish. It would also strengthen your friendship. This kind of problems are common between friends and can also be resolved by you and your friend only.
I don't have an experience like that yet but if I am in your position, I will be honest.
@morningstar1972 (5)
• United States
20 Sep 09
I have been around friends who I hadn't been around in years. sometimes they are just stuck in the mud, and life is passing them by, if they have no reason to change, they aren't going to.
@barbiejune (125)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
Every person has strengths and weaknesses. Friends who agree on everything are most likely not on a good road to real friendship. I'm not saying friends should argue. All I'm saying is differences help people discover who you are: what you like or dislike, what you value and what you don't, what you believe in and what you don't, and so on.
So for this instance with your friend. You can be open to her about the attitude from a positive perspective. You can say you are somewhat wondering why she can be so moody or why she thinks this or that and how you see it. It might start an argument but the point is you two need to understand where you and her are coming from so in the future you won't have to deal with the same experiences over and over again. Friends should be the ones to tell friends when they are doing, saying, or thinking the wrong things. And from that - nothing else. Honesty is a good ingredient of friendship.
@Archie0 (5652)
•
19 Sep 09
Hello annierose
I have got a friend who is just so much childish, and it is so much irritating at time to deal with a childish type of a person, she just irritates worst out of me.She keeps on relying on me for many things or fights with me like a kid and messages and calls me whole day.And trust me it becomes really frustrating when you are not a phone person, i dont like cel phone near me until i am talking to my mother.I feel really angry with her but i just dont know why i have to still tolerate her at times.Though now i am staying a bit away from her.
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
maybe the best thing that you could do is talk to each other and clear things out. You have just one little problem and i know that it can be settled down as early as you can. just talk to each other and you'll be best of friends again.
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
19 Sep 09
I think she may be a bit less matured to be your peer. Perhaps, she has hang-ups of her own. May be deep inside she is crying out for help. Do you see a dualism in her character? If there is, this could later lead to schizophrenia. Help her along and be her friend.
@mohinimandokhot (184)
• India
19 Sep 09
You are lucky to have a friend at all. There are some people like me who do not have real friends. All my family are my best friends. If your friend is childish you must try telling her so once or twice. If she doesn't understand now she is best left to her own ways. you must not change yourself for her. If you compromise too much, there will be no friendship left between you and her. If you want to still have her friendship, think of all the nice things that you both have done together.
@duane_madriaga (12)
• Philippines
19 Sep 09
well as a psychology major, i think it is normal to become childish "sometimes"... but if its becoming more often, just understand the person or your friend and don't go down to your level until you pissed off... more patience and understanding are needed for that person... i did experienced that case but not my friend, a stranger... inside the train, a seat is vacant. am going towards the seat but there's this girl who's running to my seat then in my mind, whatever... the girl smiled at me because i know she knows and i think there's a bit of feeling guilt because she saw me going towards the sit... then i just smiled back when she smiled at me... confirming her that its okay without words coming from my mouth... why i'm like that, because i don't wanna be so rude that just because of the vacant seat, you'll become mean and make her feel guilty just by saying words... thank God i'm not like that... really...