cheating? or self-defense?

In my opinion, accountingcpa, if you are in a relationship and you are constantly looking for the "next best thing" to come around the corner, you are not giving the current relationship a chance. I don't feel that it's cheating unless you act on it. I think you and your boyfriend would be getting cheated out of the potential for a great, trusting and loving relationship though. If you can't trust the person you are dating, you should break up with him and THEN pursue someone new. You shouldn't try to fix what is wrong in one relationship by just sliding over into another one instead, I don't believe. In the case of your friend, she was not the one being cheated on - at least not in the beginning - because he was already in a three year relationship with someone else when she started dating him. The first girlfriend was the one being cheated on... unless the couple had agreed that they would not be together exclusively and both were free to date others. Is she still seeing him? Does he know she found out about the other relationship?

He's wrong for lying to your friend. You can't be with someone without having faith it will work out, if you keep hunting for that something better you will always be looking and never content because you never gave yourself to the relationship fully.

Yes, he was wrong for double dating because it should have never happened if they didn't agree to an open relationship. I don't necessarily agree wih you when you say you should keep an eye out for a better one. A better one? What are you doing, buying a car? If you are dating --DATING means enjoying each other's company and going out and mingling with one another-not really exclusively, then I beleive both parties are free to move on if and when they want to. If you are in a commitment relationship, why would you look further than what you have? If you aren't happy then move on. Don't break his heart or even hurt his feelings by one day saying "Oh, I found better." If you don't trust your man to give the same respect, leave him, or you may have to suffer the same. Who in the hell told you to keep your eyes open? That sounds like crock to me, and not someone that can offer you really good advice.

I would have to say he was wrong for double dating. Like if you don't want to be with someone or want to be with someone else then you shouldn't date two people at once, unless it was established at the beginning. LIke saying it was exclusive, but still should say if someone else was involved. IDK how I feel about that.

There is going to be a fair to huge amount of risk in anything that is really worth doing. If you put all of your focus on one person to the exclusion of others, you could get seriously hurt by a betrayal. Or, that person could simply break up with you without cheating or betraying you at all. You would still end up quite hurt by that. Or, you could end up forming a loving, lasting partnership that enriches your life. I do not fault your friend for risking her heart on a relationship. I took the same risk and ended up happily married. If you want to date you current and also keep your options open, I think that is a GREAT idea. Especially if your current doesn't seem invested in your relationship. However, yo have to tell him and tell every guy you date. Don't keep it a secret. Let your current know that you want to see other people. Tell him it's because he doesn't seem too interested in your relationship and you don't want to waste your time. Maybe he'll agree. Maybe he'll break up with you. Maybe he'll ask you to give him a shot at being a better partner. A lot of good could come out of that. If you date others behind his back, you'll be dishonest and not a lot of good can come of it. There are two ways to do it dishonestly. Let's look at them both: 1. You are dishonest to every man you date. You lie to your new guy about being single and lie to the current about being monogamous. If you like the new guy and end up with him, you can't let him know you lied to him the whole time you were first dating. You will forever have to keep your new love away from your ex. You will forever be nervous he'll discover what you did. 2. You could be honest with your new man and only lie to your current. In that case, you are guaranteeing that you end up with a guy who thinks cheating is okay. A guy who abhors cheating will not date you knowing you have a boyfriend already. A guy who will date you knowing this will always feel he has every right to cheat you, as you are a cheater yourself.

I don't think she is stupid for keeping up her end of a monogamous relationship. Isn't the point of dating and having relationships to find the person that your most compatible/comfortable with? Trial and error. This particular relationship turned out to be an "error". Hopefully she learned that people aren't always as honest as they seem to be, but to keep her heart open and keep trying to find someone she enjoys and who enjoys her as well.

I think it is cheating. Because when being with someone you should be conscious that part of you is part of him. So if someone has to look for others then it is better to do not get into a relationship with someone else. This is call cheating with yourself and with the man too. He will be hurt. Double dating is never good.