Am I wrong for feeling like this?
By Seppy1984
@Seppy1984 (2145)
United States
September 23, 2009 11:11am CST
Well I am going to start this off by saying that I am beyond upset and feel like my hubby and I are being used. When we got our tax return in march, my hubby's parents asked if we wanted to buy his mom's blazer for 2000 dollars. Of course knowing that we ere going to have to put about another 1500 into fixing it just to make it run my hubby still said yes to buying it because we needed a car. Well about 2 weeks ago my hubby crashed the car.( He was fine just a bruise on the forehead and his eye was swelled up). So we found out that the check was almost 4000 dollars for totaling it. But the car was in his parents names. Which I was upset because I told him to get it in his name but his parents insisted to keep in their name till my huby turns 25 which will be tomorrow. But then his parents told us that we are getting only 2000 out of the check because that is what we paid for. Now even though it was in their name isn't that illegal? I was beyond steamed. My hubby said that we should only get what we paid for. I told him no that we should get the whole check because we bought the car and it was ours. So if their is any lawyers out there that could give me some advice that would be great. I feel that even if it was in his parents name that it was still ours because we bought it off them so I feel that we should get the whole check. Well I hope that someone could help me out with some info.
Happy Mylotting
3 people like this
17 responses
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Excuse me right off from the door but the whole thing is shiesty and I smell a rat. First of all, when ya'll got your tax refund, they smelled a rat and came a knocking then; you all paid the $2000 right off and that was that. Now his BEST BET was to go right aftger paying his parents was to GO the DMV and get the title changed into his name from the door; Now here is when stuff gets murky. If ya'll bought it, it was yours, but then that title deed says it all too and your husband should have insisted that too. Now here comes this accident and they want a piece out of the action. At this point, you need to seek legal help. It don't matter if he's 25 or not, he can have his own car from the time he has a license and them inlaws of yours was funky in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I know! This is totally fishy. Besides, he was already a legal adult so they have no right to treat him like that anyway. I think the people with the issues are the husband's parents, since they obviously still think their grown son is a little boy. They need to frigging GROW UP and LET GO.
They also seem greedy and desperate to screw over their son and daughter in law, which makes them already not decent folks from the beginning. I have older kids and I would never but NEVER do something like this to them.
Now if someone was purchasing a car from me and was making PAYMENTS istead of paying the whole thing down, maybe I'd have to wait on transferring the title until it was paid off, but that isn't how this situation looks. To me it seems like they paid his parents for the car and then they turned around and refused to transfer the title to the son and his wife. I wouldn't have handed over that money without having a title in my name!! Those people are despicable.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hello, well I can tell you this his parents like money so they will do this to anyone if it will get them money. I have noticed that they do this all the time and I told my hubby that this is never going to happen again because I am sick of him being used and him not saying anything. As for the title I am not sure why he did not just tell them that he is an adult and to let him be one but then again if you knew his parents you would understand why all 3 of their children acts like little children and not adults. But I am making a stand right now and it will not happen again. He may not like it but he needs to think about us and our children before his parents when it comes to money. Thanks for all the responses and comments.
Happy Mylotting
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
mommyboo, you are so right on every level here. In fact they treat all their children like that. I in fact have told my hubby that it is time for his parents to let all the children grow up and be on their own. In fact it seems like to me that they wanted to keep that title for this type of reason. So they must have felt that there was a chance it could have happened with the crashing but then again I think they already knew that something was going to happen. I can say this though that it will not happen again because I am going to be there with a receipt book not matter who we buy a car off from. I can say that I will never let my hubby buy one off his parents EVER AGAIN. Well I am glad that you replied to this discussion.
Happy Mylotting
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
23 Sep 09
I think there are legal and moral issues here. The car was still in your husband's parents name. In fact therefore it was still their car. So any money they got is their money. I am not a lawyer but I think that would be the outcome if you took it to court. It was their car. The fair thing is to give you back the money that you paid for it which was $ 2000.00. A deal is a deal. Your husband went along with his parents to keep the car in their name until he was 25. Do not be greedy and spoil the relationship with your inlaws. They are your husband's parents and the only ones he got. I am glad your husband was not seriously injured in the accident.
@amandakringle (109)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I would have to agree with Linalinda you should seek the advice of an attorney if you have legal questions a qualified and knowledgeable attorney will be able to give a straight answer and help you decide what you should do, but remember these are your in-laws, and they are family.
@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Excuse me, but to me, it is the parents who are greedy here. I don't mean to be demeaning here but right is right. Why take $2000 from your OWN son and his wife, then DEMAND to keep the car in their name, that ain't right. I had gotten a car from an uncle and he made me go to the DMV and change stuff. I had got the insurance but the lady at the DMV swore the paperwork was wrong. Bottom line, things didn't work out. but I don't care, seems to me, they want MORE money after they took the $2000 initially.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
24 Sep 09
gotta agree with saavy here. The kids bought the car and the parents were being controling and selfish in holding back the title. To be honest, I would never sell my kid a car that needed that much work that was worth that little. I tend to care more about their safety than the money. I'm poor and I would not use my kids in that way. This is more a moral issue than legal.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
24 Sep 09
If you would have bought the car off of a complete stranger, would it still be in there name? An 18 year old can have a car in their name. Unless there was some kind of written agreement between his parents and you two, it will probably be hard to recover the money, especially if your hubby doesn't want to stand up to his parents.
Did you already pay them the $2000 for the car in the first place? That would be the only reason I can think of that they would want half. Who was paying the insurance on the car? I don't see a reason why they should get half if the car was already paid for and the insurance was kept up by you and your hubby on it.
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hi Seppy, I hope things work out well for the two of you. Sometimes it is really hard to get parents to see things your way, I was wondering if maybe your and your hubby are uncomfortable talking to his parents about money issues. I know when I have respect for someone it is hard to tell them that they are wrong and you are the one that is in need. I know things are hard for everyone right now and everyone could use a few dollars and a little help here and there, but you are out of a car, and half of what rightfully belongs to you to help you get a new vehicle, is going to be spent on what?
I'm guessing that since it is his parents & your in-laws that you're both dealing with, it will probably be hard recovering all that the car was worth and what the insurance is paying for the car.
We all seem to learn things the hard way sometimes, I think after you two get another vehicle, you know what you both need to do.
**Best of luck with this**
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Hello, yes that is the most of the problem. I do have respect for them and I know he does. The other part is that he is afraid that his family will disown them because of it. But yes there was a lesson that was learned. I just hope that my hubby keeps it in mind. I know that we are going to get the car in our name and the insurance too along with picking the car we want and where we want to go to get it. I know his parents will think we are being mean about it but we want to be able to do what we need to do as grown-ups.
Happy Mylotting
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hello, Lets start with your first question. Well no it would not be their name if we had boughten the care from a stranger. Yes we had paid them the 2000 dollars in full. The insurance was in his parents name but we paid our part of the insurance which I think they made us pay more then what we were suppose to. I am glad that you asked the questions like you did, because I will now be able to have my hubby sit down later with me and read this and maybe he will see that I and you along with many others have true right points here.
Happy Mylotting
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hi Seppy...It sounds like that you are being railroaded so to speak. Did your husband really believe that they should get half of that check.....They SHOULD NOT..Im no lawyer but I do know what is right and wrong. You paid 2000 for it and then put in another 1500 to fix it. Than in my math that sounds like you are out 3500. Oh yes lets not forget the wear and tear on the vechicle since you have been the owner of it. Go get that check..It is rightfully yours and hubby's. He needs to see it your way too.. Good luck..Have a nice day dear..@Savvynlady (3684)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Seppy,
Could you PLEASE come back and let us know how this situation turns out cause now you got me all curious on this situation. Just so the folks here can rest a bit. Well me for one. thanks.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
I sure can let you know what the out come is. I will for sure do an update for you and everyone else.
Happy Mylotting
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hello, he feels that his parents should get some of the money. Why is beyond me. I honestly think that he is afraid that if he don't do what his parents say that he will be disowned or something. But you are totally right though that we are sure out of that money that we spent on it and everything else just to buy it and to get it going. I have tried everything to get my hubby to see that I am telling him what his parents are doing is wrong. He don't see that way at all. I have noticed that his family is money hungry. Which has never made sense to me since they make great money. But I can say this that it will never happen again because I am going to get my license and I am going to have him put me on the title and his parents names will not be on there anywhere. But I do appreciate the luck.
Happy Mylotting
@jashoaf (296)
• United States
25 Sep 09
If you paid all the money you owed for the car, you just got screwed. Try to let it go - we lost a house the same way to my hubby's parents. We were buying it on a land contract deal and paid 10,000 when they sold the house. We never did get the money back. We learned to never deal with them in money issues if we wanted to have any kind of relationship at all.
If your aggreement is in writing, and signed by both the parents and your hubby, and you have receipts for the money paid, you MAY have a case. You would need a lawyer, though, as the title never changed hands. Legally you would have to prove that the agreement was made and fulfilled.
Your best bet is to take the 2000, buy another car, and chalk it up to experience. A lifetime of hard feelings is all a court battle will accomplish.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hello, let me start off with saying I am sorry to hear what happened to you 2. That is awful. I know that I told my hubby that we are never ever going through his family again for anything like that. I told him that I am so beyond sick of them taking an advantage of us when we get money from paychecks or from our tax return. I told him that he needs to take care of me and our children along with himself. So I think he finally realized after about 2 weeks that he needs to stop worrying about their money problems and worry about ours. Well we are going to go with what we can get although I still am in shock that they would do something like this to my hubby when he has 2 little boys that are both under 4 years old. To me it sounds like they don't care about anyone but themselves. But I am glad that I had support here and was able to talk about it.
Happy Mylotting
@jashoaf (296)
• United States
5 Oct 09
You're right, it is selfish. It's funny, people who are normally unselfish and giving are totally different when it comes to money. chalk it up to experience, I guess.
We looked at as rent - we would have paid the money in rent anyway. living somewhere else. That way we were able to let it go. But like you, we didn't do money deals with family after that. If I have it to help somebody and they really need it, we lent it - and just assumed we would never get it back. Sometimes we did, and that was awesome and helped cement really good relationships with those family members. Sometimes we didn't, and we were no worse off because we didn't expect it back. If we didn't have it to give, we said so. We NEVER took money or made another money deal.
@razzberry1 (73)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Your husband should point out that you put $1500 into the vehicle to make it useable, so they are only entitled to $500 of it. It's not illegal, but it's immoral for them to take advantage of you this way. Next time, be sure that the insurance is in your name so the check comes to you.
And hey, this is a valuable lesson about how they are with money. Don't let them do you any "favors" again, because it's clear you'll get burned every time.
So, now, take a deep breath. These are your husband's parents. You don't have to like them, but you risk alienating your husband. Are they worth you losing your man? No? Then point out the other money you spent on the blazer and then be still.
(And Blazers are rolling hunks of junk, use your $2000-$3500 wisely and buy a Nissan, Toyota or some other good brand of vehicle. Research carefully, look for safety and reliability ratings. OK?)
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Well I can take the deep breath but it is not going to make anything better. I don't know what to do because my hubby is not going to say anything and not only that he will allow his parents to do this to us and our children again because he feels that he should help them out when they need/want money. In my opinion they make more then enough to take care of themselves. They both together make about a good 3000 dollars a month after taxes. So why should my hubby have to bail them out all the time? I am not even allowed to make or help make decisions on the money because he says that he is the one that works not me. Although I am the one that makes sure that the house is clean and that supper is on the table along with all the other stuff that a housewife/mom does. So if you give me an opinion to this comment that would be great so that I can understand these type of people better. Oh yeah I will say that I do like my in-laws I just don't like what they are doing to my family.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Unfortunately some men are like that. They think that because they are the ones that support the family that they are the only ones to make decisions in the family. That is not the way marriage is supposed to be but more often than not it's the way it is. You will probably never be able to change his attitude so the only thing left is for you to find a way to make peace with it for your own state of mind. If you let this matter fester it can ruin not only your relationship with your inlaws but also your relationship with your husband. The stress will also affect your children.
I do agree with you that you are being used but in this instance you don't have any recourse and you may have to let it go. Think about what really matters to you and act accordingly.
@razzberry1 (73)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Then I would get at least a part time job. If he thinks that you have nothing to say about the money, then you aren't a true partnership in your marriage. He's treating you like a child instead of an equal partner. Myself, I wouldn't tolerate that kind of treatment.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
24 Sep 09
unfortunately, I think you're stuck. I don't see why his parents had to keep the car in their name anyway - once you paid for it, it should have been in your names. My car has been in my name since I was 18.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Well I came to think that the reason that it was in their name and not ours is because they feel that he still a boy and not a man. But I finally got him to stand up to his parents and he told them that the next car we get is going to be in our name this time. I am thinking that after the whole problem with the check situation and all that he saw that I had a point.
Happy Mylotting
@pillusch (1147)
• Mexico
24 Sep 09
The issue, if I might say so, is not so much the car and the cheque, but the relationship you guys have with your in-laws. What a funny way of dealing with things they have? Is it possible that they still treat you as children, knowing what's best for you?
I would work on that one, because the whole thing looks to me like a crooked deal, and it's just not fair.
As far as legal advice is concerned, I´m not a lawyer, but whatever the paper say is true, whether it reflects reality or not.
Hope you can sort out things, good luck.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hello, I know that they might think they know what is best for us, but in reality they do not. Because if we can not get the whole check or anything then we can not get a car for us to take our little children to doctors and get groceries. But I too will say that I hope that we get this sorted out soon.
Happy Mylotting
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
24 Sep 09
I am not a lawyer but I see clearly that you paid much more than 2000.00 for that vehicle. Are you forgetting the 1500.00 for fixing it up? His parents are being selfish and unfair. I can not imagine doing that to my kids. Legal? Unfortunatly I think it probably is. Legally it is "their car" even though he bought it. Why did he not insist on getting the title? Does it have insurance? If so, who pays for that? From all you wrote, the check belongs to you entirely. Unless there are other circumstances, I would say his parents are being very unfair.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hello, I am not sure why he did not insist that the title should be transfered to his name. Yes the car had insurance and my hubby payed for the insurance although that too was in his parents names. They kept telling my hubby that he would be paying outrageous amount on insurance if it was in his name. Although over and over again I had showed him that we could have insurance in his name that would be 500 dollars a year which in my opinion that is cheap for a person who is under 25. I just wish he would feel that his parents are being unfair, but he believes that his parents do no wrong. Well I just hope that in the future he will allow me to be part of the money decisions.
Happy Mylotting
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
24 Sep 09
Hi I hope that I don't come across mean or what have you this is just my opinion....It sounds like to me the parents of your hubby are trying to control the situation with your hubby that they are not letting him go and fully leave the nest......Now they wanted to sell you this vehicle to help you guys out but I see them taking advantage of you and your hubby they knew the vehicle needed extra work so why sell it with having to have more money put in it....He's old enough to have a wife and family of his own? But not old enough to have the vehicle in his name??? You two did the responsible thing payed for the vehicle and put extra money into it....I would ask your hubby why he feels so strongly that his parents deserve to have part of this money???I understand them needing it for bill reasons but does he not have an obligation to you and your kids? This is just what I would say....In the case with my ex husband and his Mother was simialar he had a tough time saying Mom I'm my own person with a family of my own i can make my own decisions now your advice and love is welcomed but please let me choose and decide for myself...I hope I helped and good luck!
Happy Mylotting!
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
23 Sep 09
If you bought it from them, it should have been transferred to your name(s) right away, no ifs, ands, or buts. I don't care if they had some stipulation about him turning 25, that doesn't MATTER. Legally if money changed hands ie you gave your hubby's parents $2000 and in return they gave you the blazer, then the title and registration should be and should have been completely turned over to you and your hubby. If they don't want to accept that, then your hubby's parents can give you $2000 from the check PLUS $2000 back since they didn't REALLY sell you the blazer in the first place.
Never, EVER leave something in someone else's name if you buy it - unless you want to leave them responsible for the cost, upkeep, and you trust them not to screw you over!!
By the way, you shouldn't get 'only what you paid for it'. In an accident situation where you are paid what they figure the vehicle is worth totalled, that has little to do with what you paid for it. Besides, if you had that $4000, it would be much easier to replace the car, which is what is intended! I just don't believe this.... I hope you're able to knock some sense into people!
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
AMEN, I have to say that you have made me feel so much better. I think in fact that when my hubby gets home from work in the morning that I am going to have him read this. I too hope that I can knock some sense into them also. I know that I have told my hubby that he is to be a grown up this time when we go to get a new car and have the title,insurance and everything else in our name. I like what you said with the blazer not really being ours since his parents did not want to accept that. I just wish that I could get him to realize what type of people his parents are. In fact they have even gotten their 33 year old daughter acting like this when it comes to money. She even lives at home and does not have to pay anything what so ever. She alone makes about 800 every 2 weeks after taxes. Instead she has many book clubs to pay along with CD Clubs and Movie Clubs. In fact she buys a new monthly billing phone about every 6 months. She one time told us that she would pay for my hubby and I and our children to go camping for memorial weekend and told us we did not have to worry about it and then 2 weeks later told us that we owed her money for the camping. But I have for sure took in all your wise words, and will not allow for that to happen EVER AGAIN.
Happy Mylotting
@dmrone (746)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Hi Seppy! No, i don't think you are wrong for feeling like this. You and your husband bought this vehicle, and you should get the whole check, not just $2000.00 of the check. Did you buy a tag for this vehicle? Did you get a bill of sale? Did the vehicle have insurance, and if so whose name was it in? You should check with the lawyers in your area, and speak to one about this matter. I hope things work out for you! Happy mylotting!
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hello, Well as for insurance, we were paying that part but it was in his parents names because they kept saying that we can't afford it and my hubby believed it. As for the tag, I am not sure what you mean by tag. I remember getting a receipt for paying for the car but my hubby says that we did not get a receipt. I think it sis because I told him that I want to take them to court for this. But he does not want to do that.
Happy Mylotting
@gmatthews (154)
• United States
24 Sep 09
You should get the $4000. When you get into an accident and the car is totalled, you get the amount that the vehicle is worth in order to make you whole again. Meaning you will need to go buy another vehicle. They gave you a deal because they were his parents, but your next vehicle will probably be from a stranger who will not give you a deal. What is their reasoning for keeping $2000? They are not out any money. I would consult a lawyer, but you are in a sticky situation, because they are family. I am glad your husband is okay and good luck with the rest.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Well their reason is because they said they need to pay their water bill and gas bill to get it turned on in the new place they moved to and because they said that we only paid 2000 for the blazer. Well in fact I just thought of something I am sure that they already got the check and we have not yet received our part.I just told my hubby a minute ago that if we don't receive any money real soon that we are going to sue his parents. He did not say anything so I am not sure what he is thinking. I know that they had received it already because they have their water and gas on already at their new place. All I know is that I will never do that to my children. I in fact intend to have them grow up and be responsible for themselves when they turn the age of an adult. I can tell you this though that my hubby did learn his lesson.
Happy Mylotting
@UCantSeeMe (116)
• United States
24 Sep 09
who ever is paying the insurance for the car is the one that should be getting the money reguardless of whos name its in and who crashed the car. If you are the ones that are paying the insurance then you need but to prove it. Also proving that you paid for the car would also be helpful.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
I know what you are saying here. Well I can say that we were paying our part of the insurance and that we did in fact have a receipt for buying the blazer. As for the insurance well that is a dud there because my hubby did not get receipts for that.
Happy Mylotting
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Well, since technically the car is still in their name they can do what they want with the check. UNLESS you and your hubby have something in writing stating that you own the vehicle. In that case they should have to give you the full amount. You will probably have to take them to court over it though, so you have to decide if it is worth it.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hello, well we can't take it to court now since my hubby threw the receipt away. Then come to find out today that if we still had the receipt that he would not take his parents to court over that. So it shows that me that he does not care what his parents do. But I wish that I would have held onto the receipt because I then would send it to the place that did out the check. But I do appreciate your response because the more responses I get the better.
Happy Mylotting
@sharlionse (739)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
that is a natural feeling because you are upset but when you think about it they're your parents. Legally of course, the ownership should have been transferred from the time you paid them the amount they demanded. You should get the whole check then.
@milkcow (99)
• China
23 Sep 09
You should get $4000, absolutely correct, you paid for the car and whatever goes with it. If the car rewards you $4000, then it belongs to you. His parents are not entitled to a free $2000 of your money. Remember to always get your registration sorted out as soon as possible, will save you a lot of hassle. If you have some sort of proof that you bought the car, a lawyer can help you in this regard, but you would need some evidence, they could just turn around and say you borrowed the car or something. You bought the car at a bargain and if your insurance company believes it's worth $4000 then you are entitled to that $4000, regardless of whether you paid $2000 for it. I once had a bunch of stuff stolen, among that was a cheap $50 mobile phone, my insurance paid me $150 for it because that was the price of the cheapest one they could get. If they just gave me $50, how could I buy a new phone for that? I know that's a petty claim, but among those things was a $2500 notebook, which I also got $3000 for.
@Seppy1984 (2145)
• United States
24 Sep 09
Hello, well I did tell my hubby that this time the car is to be in his name and not his parents. I told him that I did not want to go through this ever again. I have to say that I remembered his mom giving us a receipt but my hubby said no. So I am wondering if maybe he threw the receipt out when he that it was all done and over with(Us paying and getting it fixed) the paying for it. Even if we still had the receipt my hubby would not even take his parents to court. In fact today we went through this whole check thing again and he said that his parents need money to get their bills paid off so that they can get them transfered to their new place. I told him that it is bad that his family uses us as a personal piggy bank. I am glad that you were able to get what you deserved and plus some. I know that this will never happen again if I have my way about it.
Happy Mylotting
