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Just a moment ago,I went downstairs and smoked 3 cigarettes with my tears cried.You need to know,I do never smoking,although I used to touch those kinds of sh*t for a short period,but soon,I quitted it.And alcohol,I must mention it this time,completely same situation just like cigarette on me.Actually,I never did well with them at all.Never!!! Now smells of cigarettes is full of my mouth,I hate it. Then let's talk about what I really want to piss out WHY I GET MAD She didn't answer my phone call and hang up nowadays.Just as tonight,when it does happened,I often can't accept and bear it.Make a Phone call...to her...every day or evey night....in the past...She has turned this into my necessary needs,but now she want to take it away.I'll be anxious if she doesn't pick up my phone,I'll be sad if she doesn't pick up my phone,it seem to being taken something away from my body,once she just doesn't pick up my phone WHAT I CARE ABOUT But it seems that she can't get the feeling of mine.Once she did it follow my words above,I am so sad even a bit desperate,Yes!Actually I have already done it. Just a bagatelle that I believe all of you will take it as,but for me,they are not.I'm not kidding WHAT SHE SAID TO ME She said to me that I think we can get along with each other friendly these days. Get along with what? Really?Avaiable? Is this known as a kind of getting along with each other?Just through the f*cking phone call every day?Every day? I cheated myself,all had been gone.What the f*cking get along? Did we have a real staying together for this f*cking long distance relationship MY ATTITUDE TO HER Tomorrow is my mother's birthday.First,good luck to my mom,second, good luck to my parents,third,good luck to my family,last,god bless my beloved.In spite of how much noise I made to her,I still love her definely,otherwise,I shan't be in low spirits.Although I don't know how to address her felicitously,Girlfriend? Beloved? Wife? I must admit the last one is I usually addressed because this is the ultimate relationship between us that I really want to set WHAT I WOULD DO In the end,I grasp there's not exist any mistakes we made,but my death is the only thing that is extremely keerect that I resolutely believe now.If this is the all you want to give me,I will go without any regret.I swear I would never make a phone call to you forwardly.Just a phone call,why must I loyal to?I don't know,maybe it's time for transforming ATTENTION For various reasons,I can't write this all above in my mother language.Just take it as a chance of learning English.Sorry for my not telling her name,I can't.Wee hours of closing to 2 o'clock,now she is sleeping, just 2 hours ago,she hung me up,immediately I lost myself.That's it P.S. This is a private diary, which is also possibly full of complaint and bullsh*t.That's all