I am Gay but my parents don't accept me as I am!!

I feel awful for you. A very nice young man I work with is gay and he has been telling us terrible stories about how he is treated by his family (one brother in particular). He is a great guy and it is someone's loss if they do not accept him because he is gay. I personally don't understand it but there are a lot of things I don't understand. I have wondered how i would feel if my son told me he was gay. Though I do want to be a Grandma, more than that I want him to be happy. I would accept him completely and unconditionally. Are there organizations or support groups that parents can go to help them understand. Maybe if she talked to people who have understand how she feels and have come to terms with it, it might help. I think you should bring your girl friend to meet Mom, don't go out of your way to explain who she is, just let Mom get to know and maybe then she will be more understanding. Best of luck. I hope things go well. Maybe if Mom read this discussion... of course I am sure there will be people who agree with her but I think the world has become more accepting and just needs more time.

I am so sorry that your family is unaccepting. How long has it been since you first told them the truth? Sometimes parents react badly because they are shocked. In time, they come to accept it for what it is. I would try again to talk to your mom about this. Some parents never come around to accept it which makes it a really sad situation for everyone. I hope your parents come around.

What a tough situation you had there. It seem like you were imprisoned inside of a body you don't belong. It's normal that your mother had difficulty accepting your true self...but give her more time. I'm sure she will come around.

Well, i guess the best advice is just to sit your mom down and prepare for a long night worth of talk. prepare for it with lots of coffee and comfortable clothes. Be patient, don't fly off the handle and give her a reason to accept you. afterall, you are still her daughter. parents don't disown their child so easily. besides, i think she is just scared of the additional problems you will have, like society and whether you will be breaking your heart or not. try to take a step back, and view it from her point of perspective. be calm and most of all, love her for being your mom. that said, all the best towards you and your family. i hope that you'll have a happy life in the very near future.

It is too bad that your mother can't except your choosen life. I think it is important for you to get out from under her roof so you can live the life you want. Unfortunately people make up there minds and can't move past there ideas of right and wrong. If you want to be with your girl, be with her. You can get out of debt together. I am not sure how much you have but my husband and I have a ton and are working together to get rid of it. Do the same with your partner and hopefully your mom will come around. If not, her lose.

Considering this post has been here for a while, well, I hope things are better for you. I don't think anyone can force another person to accept his/her lifestyle change but give her time to adapt or get used to who you are. It will take time and she has to do it on her own terms. I do hope that things smooth over. These things are hard because a lot of parents get upset with the whole being gay thing. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's society that makes an issue of it, really. I wish you the best.

Hi Maria: It is often difficult for parents to accept the fact that their children are different in any way because they want so much for them and for themselves. You put your finger right on the problem. You dropped a bomb on your parents. It takes time for stuff like this to heal. Imagine if they had told you you were adopted or something crazy like that. That's how your being gay sounds to them. You have rocked their world and not in a good way. Nobody wants for their daughter the hatred and meanness directed towards gay and lesbian couples. Give your parents time to adjust to your world. Show them there are gay and lesbian people who are just as warm and friendly as they are. Show them that your friends have the same hopes and dreams and aspirations as you do and that their lifestyle does not change their property value or the price of milk . There is no reason you cannot have your friend visit as a friend and let your mother get to know her that way. Maybe in time she will come to know her as the good person that you know. Do not try to push your lifestyle down your mother's throat (figuratively speaking) all at once. But for sure there is no harm in your friend coming for dinner and visits like any other friend. You do not have to hide the fact that she is gay, just do not make a big deal about it. In time, they will come to accept her. If not, at least they will know her and hopefully you will be on your feet and can move out. At least you gave them a chance. Good luck.

I'm sorry your family has made you feel like an outcast just for being who you are. That must really suck and I don't want to even begin to imagine how that would feel. Maybe your mom just needs some time to wrap her head around the idea. For some people it's harder to expect. But your mom is letting you live at home, so she obviously still loves you. Maybe you should set up a date so your mom can finally meet your partner. Invite them both to a lunch or something (Make sure BOTH of them know what's going on) and try to let them get to know each other. Good luck! Let us know how everything works out!

maria hi I am so sorry to hear your mom cannot handle this.some'people really have a hard time accepting this and it makes it so sad for all concerned. My son's best'friend is gay and a better young man you would never meet.But my hubby had a time accepting him but I sat my hubby down'and reminded him of all the good things that Mike had done for our family and how he had really liked Mike before he learned 'Mike was gay. He did finally come around. now I am hoping maybe with some kind talking you can get your mom to see you are still your own sweet self.

i think move out and live on your own with ur partner, and try to get some outside help to make it on ur own, like maybe ymca or lesbian/gay centers, or some other groups. ur mother needs to get used to it. it is ur life, and everything happens for a reason. maybe, if she sees u r making it on your own and u r both happy together, she might finally accept it.

Hello Maria, I see that you are in a very difficult position right now. I think the emotions of your mom are all messed up. Her mind isn't clear and she loves you without a doubt. When a parent tells you to leave the house, they don't mean it most of the time. It's just a burst of emotion or something that people do out of anger and the fact that you really left the house to live with your girlfriend has upset your mom more. Now that you are back because you have financial issue might lead her to a misenderstanding that you only come her when you need to. Right now, just try to build a better relationship and get closer with your mother. Don't talk about your girlfriend constaly for a couple of months and let her settle up a bit. How about your dad? Is he with you on this? Maybe he can try to talk with your mom. She probably dreamed of you marrying a man and makign a family with children running around when she will be baking cookies for them...and now it won't happen. Sometimes it does take years to accept it so don't push her too much. What you can do is to talk with your girlfriend's parents and get them to talk with your mom. Maybe it will be better if adults can discuss with each other. There might something she wants to discuss but that you won't understand since you aren't a parent yet. Your gf's parents can try to guider your mom and make her feel better. goodluck dear.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Your mother will come around eventually, it will just take some time for her to get used to the idea. Try and remind her that as your mother, she just wants you to be happy, and that this is who you are, it's not a phase, and that it would mean a lot to you if she would meet the person that you're with. Maybe the three of you could go for coffee or something, or dinner. Maybe see if she'll think about what you said before giving you an answer, too, if bringing it up makes her upset or nervous.

My sister has chosen the same lifestyle and I told her that I would love her the same but I advised her that the path she chose would be full of obstacles. Since I was the first person she told she just introduces her girlfriends as friends to everyone else and no one thinks twice about it. Bring your girlfriend along and treat her like you would a co-worker you invited to a family function and allow your mom and family to see for themselves what a wonderful person she is.