Dowry system, is it a common practice in your place?

I never paid for my wife. Dowry system is against the law of equality of men and women. It is a crime to give and take dowry. But these are openly violated. There are thousands of cases of dowry every year few offenders are actually punished. It shows that laws alone are not enough. Besides laws, we need more social awareness and effective social measures. We should create a movement and strong public opinion against the system. The movement should be taken to villages and every nook and corner of the country. More leaders, social groups, men and women should be involved in the movement against the evil. People who practice dowry system should be socially boycotted. Women organizations should hold demonstrations against such people.

Hi there! Excellent post! Dowry is one of the most dangerous of the evils and this evil is eating out society like anything. In the process, middle and lower middle class people suffer the most, because it becomes difficult to afford dowry for them. Now a days women are becoming self-reliant and they can always fight it out that they won't marry, if someone asks for dowry. Dowry system is liked dreaded virus of swine flu and it is contagious. People or rather parents of girls give dowry, when they find that others are doing the same. Upto some extent girls are also responsible for dowry, some of the girls make demands to their parents that they should be given handsome dowry so that they could impress their husband and in-laws. When I got married, I strictly said 'no' to dowry and we did not demand anything and I still say proudly to my better half that we did not ask for anything and this keeps our head high.

That custom was practiced in my country before the Spaniards colonized us... and i think we got that from Indian's or Chinese who came here to trade... i am glad that it is no longer practiced anymore... since if it is still is... a lot of poor families would have this as a problem...

The dowry system is indeed bad and should be done away with. Though here we hardly hear of anyone asking for a dowry but nowadays all the men want working girls to marry so it is almost like getting the dowry in instalments. Many of the girls who are not working say it is difficult to get a good match if they are sitting at home!!!

Hello sreekala good day. Yeah. It is common in our country but it is only common practice of our Muslim brethren. Actually, I don't really know the whole significant of that Muslim custom...because it is not common on Christian community...Are you practicing this?

What an awful system what about marrying for love,surely the fact a woman is prepared to have the mans babies and look after him is dowry enough.I am not having ago at other cultures it is just so strange to me to know this is still going on.I know Indian families are very close and look after each other.Maybe in this modern world it is time for a change.Not being allowed to marry because the family is poor.It is a shame that young women are held in such low esteem that they must pay for the privelege of being loved.The women is unlikely to be able to work outside the home how awful.Maybe the men in these cultures ought to do a weeks house work and give birth before they have the nerve to expect a dowry.Housework is hard and can be extremely boring.I had no idea this system was still in force.So if a man falls in love with a girl he checks her wealth before he marries her,to be honest I would not bother.

Dowry is most evil but sadly still rampant here. People leading urban city lives are very diplomatic in their approach of demanding dowry. This is most off putting! They now demand dowry in a different way, as if its something that the bride's family has to give happily. It feels bad and the instances of dowry deaths are still there. I think, the girls need to put their foot down more than anybody else. After all its their lives and they must carry it with utmost dignity. I am thankful to many reliable organisations which are working hard to bring awareness. But things are too little and too less. Still the optimist that I am, I am hopeful. I love my country and I must be responsible for the bad customs and try my best to stop it.

Yes Shree. This dowry system is prevalent among many communities.I belong to a community where the bride is definitely given some ornaments, diamond jewels and some silver--this depends on the father's capacity.Nowadays, in decent families the bridegroom's parents do not demand that some things ought to be given [as it was in ancient days] but the father of the bride gives whatever he feels like to his daughter.In educated circles they do not talk much about it but as I told you both the parties look at an alliance that suits their individual status in life.Different people look at different parameters and in my case my father looked at the bridegroom's qualification, becaue I was higly qualified for my times..He gave greatest importance to this.Now , when I am looking for a bride for my son too this becomes the first priority because my son is highly qualified.

well, not much actually. Though there are occasional cases of dowry popping up here and there. I live in west bengal. I've also lived in Haryana, where people do ask for dowry once in a while. but rarely gets too violent. There are cases where people expect implied dowry. "without having to ask" and in such cases, when they don't get it , they tend to get harsh. Atleast the parents, anyways.

sreekala here in the United States we havent had a dowry since the middle ages.we are a free country, we do not'sell our daughters, we give them away freely, no trades nor barters, two young people in love marry for love not for'dowries and it is ever so much better. this is not our custom,it' bespeaks of buying and selling and we do not do that with'human beings. cattle yes, people no. no dowries here.

No such practices here in American. Here in America you meet people, date people, and if you find that you have fallen in love and want to marry someone and they agree that they love you too and want to marry you then you get married. The only tradition that some people still use is asking the woman's father for permission to marry his daughter, but not all men do it any more, and likely if the father were to say no he would marry the daughter anyways, asking for her hand is just a matter of respect.

No such thing as a dowry here. Years ago girls used to collect items for their “glory box” which was full of things they would need when they got married but it didn’t have anything to do with the groom whatsoever. The ‘glory box’ is out of fashion now and I don’t know anyone who has one anymore; it was more from my mother’s days back in the late fifties, early sixties.

well, its very common in our place, especially in our south india, dowry has its best chances to occur and it affects many poor people, i think its very difficult to wipe out the dowry system completely from our country..but i have one thing in mind, that i am not gonna ask any dowry when i am gonna get married...we can eliminate dowry a little, if some youths of the country decide to reject dowry case during their marriages.. happy to respond... happy mylotting..

No, it is not practiced at all in my country of origin. The man just needs to ask for the woman's hand in marriage. Before, it was always the groom's family who pays for the wedding expenses. Nowadays, it has become a matter of being practical and fair and couples usually split the expenses with most families pitching in to help defray the cost. I am really sorry to hear that the dowry practice still exists despite enacted laws which forbid it.

Hi Sreekala, There is no dowry system where I live. I have heard of it of course, but I don't think it was ever common practice here. As you say everything is changing and it may not be around anywhere in a few more years. You culture is very different from mine but I can understand how the idea of a dowry would be a curse for poor parents. Blessings.

We used to have what was called a "hope chest" but it was much like the dowry system. While it wasn't an incentive for a man to marry the woman, it was made up of things a woman would need in the old days. Material to make clothing with, dishes, blankets, quilts, needles and thread, even farm equipment was saved for the bride from the time she was a baby.

I'm sure all countries have some customs that are supposed to help the poor but in reality make things harder for them. We don't have the dowry system here but my understanding of it is that the husband gets the wife dowry. Now it may have been intended to provide for her but in countries where the man's word is law and the women are treated like property it seems to me that the dowry system is just a way that the father has to pay some man to agree to marry his daughter. Practices like this are demeaning to women in particular and an insult to intelligent people every where.

Dowry is a tradition in some groups who live in my country who belong to Islam believers, local tribes and some richest family requires a dowry from the family of the man before they let their daughter marry. Dowries are sometimes given in forms of money, land and other valuables things. Those traditions are good to make sure of the girl family have money or properties in exchange for their daughter right to get marry. In my places the rich people requires big dowry compares to poor family and it really depends on the social status of the family if they could provides the said dowries. However in my family their is no dowries require the main qualifications both partner should be of the right age, emotionally and financially stable which matter most.

Nopes, and it will never be. Dowry would never be a part of our culture now. But if that is practiced in your country, I respect that. Too bad that this dowry thing used to force people to get money or else if not met, sad to say, no marriage will happen. It's all about money , where is the LOVE?