Apoligizing for the condition of your house ?

Hi ibuemma Oh my gosh!!! That is usually something the first thing I say after the word HI... Over look my mess..Sorry the house is a mess..and then I go on to tell them why..I totally agree with you that it is my house and if they don't like the way it looks then don't come in or come back..LOL..I never really thought about it before but you bet your sweet heart that I will now..LOL..Have a nice day and remember to keep smiling...

I have always wondered why people feel the need to say sorry, after all I am coming around their place to spend time with them not admire their house. I have also heard people say it with their cars when I have got a lift before. Either way I would only really think it was appropriate for an apology if there was so much mess you couldn't sit down or eat or go to the bathroom.

Generally I keep my place pretty tidy, but periodically I'll have a visitor who catches me off-guard and there will be things like dirty dishes in the sink, cat hair clumps on the carpet or papers scattered all over the table. I'm getting better about not apologizing though. I figure if someone is an intimate enough friend that they don't need to plan and ASK to come over to visit, then they aren't going to care about the condition of my place (and chances are most have seen it when it's meticulous so they know they caught me off guard). Beyond that, they aren't coming to give you a white glove inspection or to do a property assessment, they're coming to see YOU!

If my house is really a mess I will apologize to guests because I find it embarrassing. I don't like to go over to other peoples' houses when they are a mess so I just assume people don't like being in mine when it looks like a hurricane went through it.

I do not need to apologize as what you see is what you got. Whether with or without visitors it is a customary to my family to clean the house in order to avoid embarassment. At early morning i already sweep the flors and get the dust in the ceiling and to the corner. It is done everyday to make the house a home comfortable to live.

House's condition=owner's image. I think that will make you sorry enough. You don't want to be dubbed "dirt and clutter hoarder" by your neighbor, do you? You should be sorry for yourself. However if an apology runs like this; "I'm sorry my house is so small" or "I'm sorry my glasses are cheap" or "I'm sorry my house is not trendy and stylish", then it must mean something. Maybe the house owner is just fishing for comments like "Oh no! Your house is so stylish" then that will make them more proud. The owner really wants to hear flattery that is why he/she is apologizing...Just an observation from past experiences.=)

I do that all the time. I guess I'm always worried that my house just isn't good enough. I feel like a bad stay at home mom because I go to other mom's houses and they are spotless and then mine is always covered in toys and dust. I try to keep up with it but as I walk out one side of the room with a armful of toys, my kids are coming in the other doorway with just as much. I don't worry about whether my house is too big or too small, just if it is clean enough for other people's standards.

hello ibuemma, i do say same thing when we have visitors especially when my kids's friends and classmates will come and do some school projects or have a practice. maybe because they are many that i worry too much since our house is really small. and that they will not feel comfortable.

I sometimes do that if someone is in my bedroom. For example a friend of mine came over to visit a couple of weeks ago and my room really wasn't very tidy at all, so I did apologise for it being a bit messy. But I wouldn't apologise for the whole house. Like you said, why should I? It's my home and I love it the way it is!

Hi ibuemma well talking about it i have to say that i really mean that 'sorry' coz my room is actually messed up... hehe... that is when i have unexpected visitors/friends . . . i live in a hostel and am just a student now and i am kinda lazy and so my room is kinda messed up and i don't like to have someone come to my room at that moment so i you see i have a genuine reason to apologize to my unexpected visitors have a nice weekend!:)

Yes, it is something that I always do, and I don't exactly know why I do it, it's a habit that I learned from my mother I think. Our house isn't small, so I don't have to apologize for that, but it is always a mess, even when it is clean. We've been in some sort of a state of remodel since we bought our house, so right now I could clean the living room until it was perfectly clean but it would still look like a mess because we have insulation in there that is waiting to be put in the attic but we don't have anywhere to store it until we get it into the attic.

Ain't nothin' wrong with a house that looks lived in..I grew up around folks who..well..when you visit them you're used to moving somethin' off the chair to sit, or go around or step over assorted somethings lying around..so its not a bother to me. And I don't apologize to folks when they come visiting. I figure they came to see me. If all they wanted to see was the house then I could've saved them the trip and emailed pictures over to them..ENJOY!

I do the same. But mine is really topsy-turvy with my kids' things lying in every corner of the house. In contrast, I see other people's houses and they are neat and clean even if they have kids. I always take comfort in my husband's words when he says that our house looks lived in, a real home.

I do the same, but mostly if the kids have made a mess. They are always making a mess, and it drive me nuts! lol

Nah. Although my house is small, I never apologize. WHy the hell should I? You don't like it, you don't come. SIMPLE AS THAT. Its my house. People are welcome there. its got enough place for people to sit. and if you always want to keep saying "my house is bigger", stay in it.

Interesting to find that so many people are the same to say these. I rent a small flat. Always I have to clean or clear something before friends come to visit. After a busy day, the first thing back home is threwing my coat and bag on the floor... after a busy week,I have my saturday "cleaning day". so I hope my friends come on sunday,lol.

hi ibuemma you do bring up something my husband used to call polite sillinesses. We also wondered why I'used to apologize for my home being messy when I had spent all the day before cleaning house. Why do we do that? It is our home, if a cushion is out of place so what, if a picture on the wall is tilted a bit, so what?I am never really sorry when I say that to be honest.

I never apologize for the size of my house but I do apologize if it's not clean. Welcoming a guest into my house is an honour. It will be trouble to the guest if they have to get into an unclean house. But if it's not big enough, I don't apologize. I think the guest should realize that before they entered my house. I think some only say it for that 'manner' purpose that you mention. Sometimes they are afraid of people talking behind their back about the condition of their house.

I think people say it as a matter of course. It has nothing to do with the state of cleanliness of the house. It is just social niceties.It is also pre-emptive if there is really something going on in the house such as renovation works or spring cleaning. Asian are more fond of saying this. Do they do that as well in the West?

yes, i tend to do that when visitors come. the house is big but even if we have cleaned it and a visitor arrives, i always apologize for the "mess". we also tend to do extra cleaning ahead of time if visitors are scheduled to visit, say, birthday parties in the house. they always say that they come not because of the house's condition but for the people whom they come to visit. the reason for this may be because we want to feel the visitors they are so welcome and we want them to be as comfortable as we want them to be. i don't know ... lol