Renewable marriage contract. Stupid idea?
By manong05
@manong05 (5027)
Philippines
September 25, 2009 10:53pm CST
Marriage is supposed to be and it is "till death do ua part" commitment and there is hardly no one who is contemplating on getting married does it with fire exit mentality. That being said, there is a great number of failed marriages inspite of good intentions and for several reasons. I was discussing this idea with a friend and he brought out the concept of renewable marriage contract, say, 5, 10 years? That way, no one can not be guilty of living in sin being caught up in a failed marriage and just trying to put up a facade to conform with social conventions. And yes, I come from a country where divorce is not allowed and I don't know if what other people who are from countries where divorce is allowed think.
8 responses
@swirlz (3136)
• Philippines
26 Sep 09
What, marriage is a business deal? I feel like nowadays no one is taking marriage seriously. I bet they just did it just to be able to get in bed legally, so they don't have to hide anymore from parents and the public from doing the deed.
Marriage is suppose to be grander than that. And you should be sure before you get in marriage that the person you're with is someone you could spend the lifetime with. Someone who would try their very best to make the marriage work. You should know that, you should make sure.
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Being pagan, this is not a bad nor new idea to me. In the U.S. people're allowed to have a wedding contract set for a year, five years, or for forever (barring divorce).
For pagans, we tend to try to be realistic about love. Often, especially for the young if we don't get a contract for a wedding, we'll hold a religiously symbolic committment ceremony for a year and a day (renewable by the end date)...to basically declare our intentions and to try to be honest with eachother and our families. When you're young and in love, you WANT it to last forever...but there's no gaurentees in love or in life, so, in loving eachother we allow for an option to walk away at any time (especially since people have the right to with or without a contract). "If you love something, set it free" is the philosophy basically.
...we also don't believe in the concept of sin, typically. We do believe in the concept of right and wrong, usually, it's just that we're slightly more flexible...or generally speaking, "intensely independent" about the concept; that is, a certain set of rules in not mandated by our faith. Many of us do believe in karma, though. So, living together unmarried, or married without a contract is not considered "living in sin"...we call it honesty and sincere effort to be good to those we love. And hey, options, freedom, are good for people.
...but yeah, that's just me. I'm American, and Pagan, so not at all a good representation of this country'[s general poplace. ^_^'
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Technically we're not all that organized. But there are dozens upon dozens of religions within the umbrella of the term "paganism", and people are creating their own traditions within those religions or "paths" all the time.
The closest thing we come to organization is small groups, temples, and churches, and that's less about conversion and praise than it is about choosing to practice what we each individually believe...together,for some reason or another.
So strictly speaking, the concept you originally held for paganism isn't less true...it's just there's more to it.
And sure! You too!
@charlies2805 (777)
•
26 Sep 09
I STRONGLY AGREE with you, marriage is supposed to be last forever. Actually, divorce is everybody's right and apparently no one can stop it. I don't know about the government. But for me, divorce is something childish and betrays the promise couple made when they marry each other. And about the renewable marriage contract, it doesn't make any sense at all! Because I agree that marriage is something lasts forever.
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Let's put it this way. We both take a plane called marriage which is supposed to fly to a destination called "for life". Then suddenly something went wrong and we are trapped making our lives miserable and unliveable. We've tried what we could to save it but to no avail and the only resort or choice left is for us to bail out. It is not good but it was the only practical option left to make good use of our remaining life. Lesser evil?
There is more to life than just spending it miserably without hope of getting better with another person.
Have a nice day.
@AngryKittyMSV (4317)
• United States
26 Sep 09
Divorce is common where in live (USA) but it is not something I approve of except for in cases where there is abuse or an adulterous partner. To me, marriage is a sacred lifelong commitment and should not be entered into (or exited) lightly.
@involved62 (790)
•
26 Sep 09
Reminds me of the song which goes like this, "I wish that a marriage license was just like a driver's license. That expires every 2 years, with an option to vote. Just in case, love goes wrong, goes wrong." Personally, I think there should be an option to get out of a bad marriage or a loveless one instead of continuing in misery just for the sake of kids (where present) or because you don't want to lose face in front of your family or friends and other reasons. Divorce or separation could be the answer. I made my vows and I am very committed to my marriage. But, if we have irreconcilable differences already or he starts being abusive or beats me up, cannot be trusted anymore, I don't think there's a point in continuing.
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
People who are put into the situation knows best. What actually is the point of prolonging the agony when everything have failed. Remedies were tried but was found to be not working. There is more to life than just living a miserable life living with someone that brings hell to the family.
nice comment. Cheers.
@hinakashif (55)
• Pakistan
26 Sep 09
Hi manong, I think that marriage is not a game.. but nowadays people are not taking it seriously. .They think that if it won't work . they'll remarry. .that's wrong ! They should wait until they found some person they wanna spend their whole life with. .
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
I agree. Many are enterinh marriage with fire escape mentality. That if something goes wrong they run to the fire escape and exit. The problem is there is no guarantee that the next one will work. Marriage was designed to be a lifelong committment.
Cheers.
