Is this normal for a 4 year old child?
By anngomez
@anngomez (43)
Philippines
September 26, 2009 9:31pm CST
Until now, i'm so worried and mentally disturbed with what happened last week as my wife told me.
Last week my cousin visited us at my home with her 4 year old daughter which they usually doing every weekend because i have also a 4 year old son and they always wanted play together.I was not at our house that day, only my wife and our helpers.
So the children start playing together when suddenly my son pushed my wife out of the room where they are playing and immediately locked the door.She was puzzled that time, so she went at the back of our house and was SHOCKED! Seeing our 4 year old son and the 4 year old daughter start embracing each other, removed their short and lie down on the bed!My wife screamed and shout "Hey what are you doing!?" Then she talked to them and told not to do it again because it is bad.
We just can't imagine how those little children do such unusual things with their young age.Me and my wife are very careful with ourselves when it comes to sexually related acts not to be seen by our 4 year old son.
Is those things happened with your children also? How you deal with it? Do i need to consult a professional advise? Please share your views with me.Thank you for reading and God bless!
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Sep 09
well it would be one thing if they just had a game of "show and tell" or even "show and touch" since they are at an age where they are both becoming aware of their bodies etc..its actually normal BUT not something to be encouraged obviously...HOWEVER since they #1 forced the mum out #2 locked the door #3 not just removed their clothes but held each other and laid down on the bed...THAT is seen behaviour...they've seen it somewhere..either on tv or maybe they busted your cousin with her partner or something because thats beyond normal child curiousity..thats something they've learned somewhere...
That said, I think it was good for your wife to talk to the kids BUT I would take it farther..talk to your cousin, then talk to both kids WITH your cousin THEN talk to your child seperately without the cousin and other child being there....
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
I agree they have seen it some where, there's no way it can be just a play thing for them.
@anngomez (43)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
Children are curious for so many things but as you said its beyond normal... asking whats and whys maybe is normal but doing such things at their young ages really disturbed me.Yes, we talked with my cousin and his wife and they both feel the same as we felt.I forgot to say...that little girl is their first and only daughter too.
@erbyjen (15)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
Even this time, this act is unusual especially because they're only kids. This time they should only be playing and enjoying kids' stuffs. I think this act was influenced by technology like television and the internet. So if I were you, watch carefully for your child's actions. And also watch and be careful of your actions in front of them because children learn faster than adults.. God bless :)
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
28 Sep 09
This time they should only be playing and enjoying kids' stuffs.
that is true BUT as I said they are of an age where they are curious of their bodies and acknowledging that boys and girls are different etc..so if it HAD been just a "show and touch" or "show and tell" that'd be normal behaviour (though as I also said, still something to be discouraged AND used as a platform to talk to the child about the difference between boys and girls etc etc)
I guess my point is, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" etc IS little kids stuff and little kids playing so to speak..its normal..
@anngomez (43)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
Yes maybe you're right, i remembered one time my son told me that my cousin's little daughter is his girlfriend and i told him that she is our relative.
TV programs and commercials nowadays affect our children behaviour and we must watch them everytime they were watching TV.
@sona22 (1430)
• India
27 Sep 09
It is very unusual. When you are always careful the child either heard it from your cousin's daughter or from his school. The TV show may also be responsible. What ever is the cause you should talk with the child. Be careful while talking. Don't talk with anger. The parent is the best friend at this age. Your wife has already told it. Watch them.
@med889 (5941)
•
28 Sep 09
This is not normal at all and I think you should go and consult a doctor for them because this is not done at the age of 4 years.
Now maybe they have seen this act in the television and wish to do the same too.But again this is very bad and only a doctor for them can tell you what to do though.
@anngomez (43)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
A friend doctor told me that at this age most kids are exploring new things without them knowing if it is good or bad.What we need to do is to guide, guard and teach them the right way.
@All,
Thanks for all who replied and give their comments on this.I felt relieve now from my worries.
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
27 Sep 09
All it takes is one of them watching a little tv, then those ideas come. 4 years old is when they are asking all the WHYs. I guess i would have entered the room by removing the lock if necessary then ask Just what are you two doing? Depending on there answer, I would respond without anger or making them feel they were doing anything dirty. It was still innocent copying. We don't want to warp those innocent minds just yet.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
they were playing it alright, they were playing it for real. if they were not busted, they would do that for a long time and then get's troubled for choosing the right guy/girl to be with. well, it ain't too late annegomez, they're just kids they can still be disciplined..
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
27 Sep 09
this one is a really disturbing thing for parents. children learn things from what they hear and see. they learn to emulate things more on what they see. investigate how they could have acted that way... have they seen it elsewhere on tv (probably, through the medium of ur helpers?)or have they actually seen it?
both parents of the two children should consider this a very serious matter. u need to join efforts on how to carefully deal with this thing. if need be, please consult professional advice. they can surely help u.
@Debkie (45)
• Philippines
28 Sep 09
You should have a heart to heart talk with your son. That's what I do, I'm a mother of two and I encounter similar experience as yours. Everytime we go to bed, I always tell him that it's bad and Mommy don't like it and if you'll gonna do it again you'll be punish. I think that he saw that on tv and immitate it. As much as possible, I try to be with my children when they're watching tv especially if it's not cartoons.
@ab101_bab (17)
• United States
27 Sep 09
well it seems one of them saw something that interested themselfs to try. it needs to be disscussed with both children that it is not a good thing to do and children can hug but not in a bed and only with pants on.
@moarmoney4me (44)
• United States
28 Sep 09
It's normal for children at that age to explore (for the lack of a better word)their bodies, but what your child did is unusual.
