Why am I feeling guilty?

As the saying goes, ladies are very special... we are very sentimental... we tend to think of others, at times much more than ourselves. So when people treat us good, we tend to feel guilty and we want to reciprocate in every best way we can. But when we feel we are not doing enough, the guilt will seep into our lives. But this does not happen all the time, right? Only at certain times... so... u r normal, Merryn!

You are absolutely right. You have a great family. Appreciate what you have and I can assure many wives envy you for having such a wonderful family. So concentrate on being a good home- maker. If you have this guilty feeling, it is the result of being lonely. How to overcome your loneliness is to take up some hobbies and spent more of your time on myLot. As long as you are occupied your mind won't wander. Happy myLotting.

hello submerryn, maybe you are feeling guilty because your husband is the only one working in your family. but you should not be for stay at home is much harder. the fact that you will do all the chores in the house, taking care of your family, fetching your kids or even bringing your kid to school and the likes. most of the time, all your efforts is not recognized that's why you feel lonely sometimes. you need to have bonding with your friends too once in a while to unwind. you are not doing anything against your husband, so don't feel any guilt at all. need to relax sometimes.

Hi subnerryn, It is not easy to take care of a family and female has to work so hard to keep it going. Even if she is stay home mom it is very difficult for her as the demands of the kids and all the food she has to make, then washing and cleaning anthen in night demands of husband have to be fulfilled even though the female may be tired a lot. And if she is not working then everyone thinks oh it is so easy for her but it is not. It is nice that you do your job as a home maker so good. There is nothign to be feeling guilty about. So long you are true to your family and husband there is nothing to be ashamed off and to be a stay home mom must be your and his dicision so if you are thinking he is the only one earning for family then let me tell you he has easier Job than you have at home.

Ok you have what alot of women wish they had. Being able to be home with their child while your husband goes to work. However, you are probably not feeling fulfilled has a women. Another words you want to do something else with your life and not just be home taking care of your baby. You need to or want to accomplish more than what you are doing at this time. You are probably feeling like you are missing out on something by being home. If I were you decided what you want to do and do maybe some online courses. I know what you are feeling in a sense. I have worked for 32 years and now not working I'm taking care of my granddaughter. As much as I love taking care of her I felt I was not accomplishing anything in my life. So I decided to take a writing course which is keeping me busy and motivated. Just find something you like to do and do it. Good luck to you and be happy.

hi submerryn... I can understand how you feel... let me share with you this... Since I start to be a WFHM, I had this feeling that I no longer someone that I used to be, and it's not as good as what I am. With my incidents happen over the last 18 months, changing my status from single to being a mother, it's really tough to adapt. However, when I see others that had been suffer much more, I am telling myself again that this is the transition period, and it be over soon. I have to stop expecting myself, and work towards what I have in hand. I think it's a utilisation of the limited resources of what we have. Well, you have this thought, could be that you have been monotonous with the daily activities, and also with the recent H1N1 which locked you in the house, you may feel that way too! I am sure your hubs love you as much as you do, and your son is a good companion for you... or should you consider the 2nd one? Don't feel guilty my friend, you have got yourself good, and by moving forward, you are just making it towards perfect and not any worse. Keep good..

You are lucky to stay home I am also a stay home mom of 2 daughters an now that my girls are teens its like they don't need me no more so I feel a little unforfilled I use to also keep busy taking care of our granny who has since passed away my hubby says if I am not taking cre of the world I am unhappy if you want to try an feel better see about gettin into a moms group they usally have one at the local libraies or you even can volenteer to read to kids at the library I keep busy now by helping abused animals an now with granny gone i have more time to quilt plus of course I am lucky enough to have some good friends over the internet that i talk to an last but not least I also started tracing our family tree which is a great way to keep busy an my daughters are even helping me good luck

Sometimes when the brain is idle it tends to bring thoughts that can ruin the lives of the people.The best way is to try to push that thought out of your mind as soon as possible.Like you said your husband is great and he will be great all through your life.Do not listen to what your mind says as it can ruin your family life.Try to keep yourself busy some way or the other and if you think the thought has controlled you pray to God to remove it and give you a peace and stable mind.

Feeling guilty or out of sorts with such a great life is sort of strange...but why would you feel guilty that doesn't seem right either...Having a great family unit is Wonderful!!and is a gift from God...have you left God out of the picture??He is the support system for that great family life. We also can experience those pangs of something not being right in seemingly ideal situations because God is not part of that exsistance, not preaching but just consider this...think about it...of course if you are saved and have recieved Jesus Christ as your savior then maybe you might pray and ask and believe for the answer and the Lord God will answer. Your life is wonderful but knowing Christ would be the icing on the cake. A.L. Simmons

Since your husband is a sole breadwinner and you rely on him, you probably wish you can done more to help him. But that's my thought would be, I don't know about you. I think you're very lucky to be blessed by a life like that. But you can be right, being lonely can turmoil your mind. What about a hobby? That can fill up the time. If you're good, you can make that hobby as your side income. Perhaps you'll feel less guilty then.

Maybe you're just feeling restless. I have a friend who has your life and all she wants to do is get out there and get a job. Although her husband is a jerk and has her going into serious debt. That's probably why. But it's probably true for you too, maybe you feel that your husband shouldn't be the only working outside of the home.

Dear submerryn, I felt this everytime after I attended some functions like college alumni, secondary schoolmates annual gatherings, or meet some ex-colleagues gatherings. I felt that I'm so 'unaccomplish', sort of 'failure' in career & finance. When they talk about work, social and all the activities they had, I felt I had missed so much. I have no EPF, no steady income, can't even afford to buy a new car. Worse of all, others are financially, career wise, husband wise, property wise are better than me. I reach one stage that I decided not to attend any more of this functions...but I will still attend because I love my friends :) Even when I go window shopping, my sister bought new clothes, shoes colour hair etc...I just accompany her and felt 'failure in life'! My husband do not even gave me monthly allowance except a supplementary credit card. I can't pay a pair of earring from the night market, or a bowl of noodle in the coffee shop with that credit card! So, submerryn....you are better off than me...at least you are a successful blogger and have a wonderful family that I would love to have! Count your blessings, perhaps wait till your son bigger abit... look for a company that has daycare attached to it and start working on something you love... We need to accomplish something in life, do not be like me...I don't even know whether I can secure any job next year when my husband retire end of this year! All the best, you will be allright...

Please do keep yourself busy and be content of what you have. Do not entertain that kind of thoughts because it will be the start of some thing you will want more and regret if you failed. Surrender your thinking to GOD by prayer so that you will have peace and be contented.

hi, well i do not think that you should feel guilty about this, and you shouldnt. we all have some thoughts in our mind that not willing to share with people, even the most close life partner. all you do in your life is to take care of your kids and husband. so you feel a little boring in life, it's a natural feeling. my advice is that you can come out to do what you like in your spare time.

Is your son in school? If so i would say maybe you just need a hobby or part time job to keep yourself occupied.

Much of our world today teaches women that a stay at home mom is not contributing her share-what ever that is:) I certainly disagree. When raiseing my children sometimes I was able to stay home and sometimes I worked (out of financial need). I enjoyed both and felt productive at both. The first suggestion I would make is this, Take a nice long look at that little guy and think of all the worth while things you are doing everyday to contribute to the man he will become. There is no more important job for a mom than raising her children to become productive members of society. 2)There is a program out there (well, probably more than one) but I know of one that is for moms of preschool children. While these are often held in churches they are not necessarily church sponsored. You could take your son with you. If there isn't one in your area, look into starting one. 3)There are also places you could vounteer just to be a visitor, Nursing Homes, Assisted Living, Retirement Complexes that have community events. The elderly in such places love to see children. My mom is in a NH, there are several people who come in with there children to visit. They don't stay long, sometimes they are not in a room more that 3-5 minutes. They bring some type of little gift that says someone is thinking of you. I see mom 3-4 times a week but when one of these special angels have come she is very uplifted. Submerryn, you just need to find your place to bloom, and remember don't measure your importance by the world. Guilt can be as false as it can be real. guilt implies you are doing something wrong. Your comments do not suggest you are in the wrong. Good luck.

Why are you feeling guilty if not doing anything wrong with you husband? If you cheat your husband without his knowledge you must feel guilt but since your not doing anything wrong...don't say you are? Be a God, fearing person my friend and don't think any tricks in your mind to preserve the sanctity of your marriage and your family. The best way to avoid is here in mylot. Just spend your time here if bored sometimes but on the extend you find something here but only to avoid tricking your mind...Have a nice day!

Hello Submerryn, You feel guilty?? You are suppose to feel lucky you have a happy family with your loving hubby and smart son! You should proud of you have, counting your bless... But some how I know how you feel for being stay at home mum... It is not easy to keep ourselves at home just take care the kids and family. We do need our own TIME! The loneliness make you miserable... What I suggest here is you try to get some friends , or you already have your friends, go hang out with your friends once in a while, perhaps once in a week... Let your big man handle the son for a couple of hours, you never try, you never know, he might be as expert as you, can get more practice for him to become a good daddy too. Hang out with friends, shopping for yourself... A stay at home mom also got a day leave. Talk to your hub, take leave from him, perhaps you just need to go out from the house, leave your son and your hub, get a fresh breath ! You will surprise you will feel better and can perform WELL at home after you have a day leave. So make it SUNDAY is MERRYN day OFF!

Yes, think positive; think everything is going roses! Believe me, a lot of things is driven by a positive mental attitude. I think you have a great arrangement. With maid salaries on the rise, many can ill-afford them.Moreover our children needs their parent's love. As your husband needs to go out and earn the bread and butter, it is only natural that you stay home and mind the kids. It is economical that way too. so do not feel any guilt pangs. Have fun and be a great homebody! Happy MyLotting...

Hello You are caring for your family, you have n reason at all to feel guilty unless you are neglecting them secretly lol and I doubt that you sound really caring, I would not worry about just keep doing what you are doing talk with your hubby about your feelings pretty sure he will make you feel better about things, sometimes we get these crazy ideas we must ignore them at times for they may hurt you in the end, don't give it another thought enjoy your life. Thank you.