That Little Girl is a Brat!!

Unfortunately you need to leave it up to the mother. However I seriously would stop going to the house. I can't stand parents who don't parent their children. They let them get away with so much. She sounds like she is going to be a bad seed. I have a 3 year old granddaughter that is as sweet as pie especially to other kids her age or younger. If you say anything to the mother she might resent it and then you will lose the friendship. Good luck to you.

I would say something to the mom. If you speak to the child it may offend your friend. I have a friend who has a little girl who is rude and very hyper. She has issues and sees a psychiatrist for them. My friend does the best she can to make her behave,puts her in time out and stuff like this. When she is mean to my daughter she puts her in a time out and tells her ,her behavior will not be tolerated. Your friend might be a bit lost with how to deal with her daughter's behavior. I would stay away for a while and when your friend asks why you simply tell her that the way she allows her daughter to act towards your son is not right. Offer your advice and maybe some tips.

I'd bet that your friend would be quite upset if you tried to discipline this brat. At least, that's what I've discovered when you try to "help" a parent with an unruly child.

Is this the same one whose daughter goes around the complex and just walks into peoples' houses? The three year old? I think if I were her mother I would have grabbed her to stop her from running around and held her arms so she couldn't hit your son or me, and explained that it was time for a time out... away from company if she could not control herself. I'd also expect her to apologize to your son for running into him. The toy thing wouldn't have even happened because she'd be in another room in a time out from playing lol. There have been times when I tell another child their behavior isn't okay, such as one time at Chuck E Cheese there was a little girl - well I call her a little girl but she was at least 3 years older than my daughter, my daughter was 2 at the time. This little girl constantly pushed and cut in front of other kids at different rides and climbing toys, and after having seen her almost knock my daughter down twice, she had the nerve to push and cut in front of her on a climbing toy with a slide, and rather than wait for her to move out of the way, she kicked her, causing my daughter to fall and roll down the slide head first. I'm talking like a five or six year old, who should clearly have impulse control around toddlers... and I had been hoping maybe a parental figure nearby! I really did look around for this child's parent before I said anything, but I didn't wait long because my daughter was crying. She wasn't hurt but she didn't like being kicked! I picked her up and I said 'excuse me, why did you do that? If you can't wait in line without hurting other kids, I will find your parents and we'll have a little talk with the people who work here about it. This is my daughter and she is TWO! You are so much bigger than she is. She can't climb and run as fast as you. Please be careful!' I wasn't mean but I WAS irritated. Even after all that, I still never saw her parents!

If you model the behavior with your own child in front of the little girl you should have better results than trying to get the parent to see your point. As you have admitted the behavior is going on in front of the parent so it is not a situation of her not realizing her child is out of control. Maybe you could engage the child with yours as she sounds like she is seeking attention even if it is the result of negative behavior.

I don't think there is any other option but to say something to the girl's mother. Perhaps if the two of you were able to talk about it then together you could come up with a strategy to get rid of the problem. You and your friend need to set boundaries between the two of you for the way that you are able to discipline each other's children. For example, between me and a friend of mine when my daughter was younger I told them to discipline Kathryn the same way that they disciplined their own son. It worked wonders for them and for us in that both kids listened to both sets of parents just as well.

Sounds like you are getting to the end of your rope! I really think you need to talk to your friend. If you don't, I'm guessing your visits will end up not happening at all. Eventually you are going to get fed up with your kids being mistreated and carry some resentments. School isn't going to help the little girl. Only the mom being a parent to her little girl instead of trying to be her friend is going to work. Her little girl acts like she does because she can get away with it. Without hitting her, the mom could still discipline her, sounds like she needs a few time outs or nose-meets-corner (1 min per year old) I'm guessing you can't be having very good visits with all of this going on. Sounds like you might have to wait to go visiting when she gets her daughter either in pre-school or under some kind of control unless you let her know how you feel.

this child sounds like my nephew when we would go into a store with him he would yell at the top of his voice Iwant it I want it an of course his mom got it for him cause he wants it an should have there was even a time she called my father in law for money for gas so her hubby can get back an forth to work well guess what she went into a store he saw a footbal an screamed I want it an guess who got the football an who didnt get gas money an sad thing is now she has three boys an the same one that wants everything still gets it an the other 2 don't get hardly anything an if ouy tell her she is in denal what started wake ing her up was her middle boy ask mommy am I bad she said no then he said how come you don't like me she started crying asking why he would say such a thing an he said u always buy micheal stuff an never me so that woke her up my heart gose out to you cause you dont know do I tell her or try to ignore her rude daughter

Hi friends, My children are all grown up now, but I remember those days with the one typical little brat running around. I don't know about you, but when my children were hurt, either their feelings or them, my heart would absolutely break for them. The sad little faces looking at mommy for assistance of some kind. Well I was always there for that. I really didn't care what the mother thought. I was always there and told the child you don't treat other people like that. People will not like you if you act like that. Also when other children were in my home, they were treated the same as my children. If they did something that warranted a time out - they got it. If the mother had a problem with it - she could just leave. Children always need to know that they are safe and children do feel safe even when they are being punished. It lets them know that you care about the environment they're in. That you care about what kind of people they're eventually going to be. I am very proud to say that I have had so many compliments regarding my kids manners and how respectful they are. They are now 23, 20 and 15 and I am a very proud mother. Cheers Cheryl

I am not one for disciplining someone else's kids, but I suppose there is a tactful way to do it, such as the next time you're holding your son and she decides she wants to play with him, you can say to her "Perhaps he'd be more open to playing with you if you were nice to him, and apologizing for your behavior, and promising not to do it again!" If the problem persists, perhaps you can plan dates with your friend without any kids, even just half an hour for coffee once a week.

Hi Princess, you are in the exact situation I am in - well, WAS in. My neighbor and I used to be great friends, our boys are 7 months apart, mine being the older one. At first, it was great, when the babies were little - but then they started growing up - they are now 3 1/2 and 4 YO. I've posted about this mom before - she's the kind of mom that talks a good talk, but when it comes down to it, she's not interested in what other people have to say - esp. if it goes against what she feels/thinks. For example, as another poster suggested, we also had an open relationship, allowing each other to correct behaviour of the boys. She would give me advise, I would give her advise. On the surface, it seemed that she was open to my suggestions and advise, we would try to work together to come up with strategies to teach the boys good behaviour. But when it became clear that her son was the problem 90% of the time, she began to resent my advise, my comments, my involvement. As the boys got older, personalities developed, very clear differences surfaced and we are no longer close and I don't allow my son to be around hers very often anymore. Turns out, her son is a MONSTER and she thinks it's okay! He's a spoiled brat! He's aggressive, doesn't share, expects to have access to my son's stuff without sharing his own, screams at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way... I could go on... Every single little thing that her son does that most - if not all - mothers would think as inappropriate, she has an excuse for it. She blames everything and anyone else for her son's behaviour when she really needs to reign in the spoiling and indulging him for her convenience. So, my point is that you may not have a choice but to back off the relationship. But I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking up to this child, regardless of whether the mom is present... I would say, "(her child), do not (whatever) to (your child)!!" If her child continues to mistreat your child, I would simply say to her mom, "You know, I can't have my son being treated this way. It's mean and unacceptable. If you want to visit/hang out, you need to put a stop to this behavour or we need to hang out when you've got a sitter for her." And then I would leave. I finally realized that my neighbor wasn't worth the trouble - and more importantly, I didn't want my son being around that kind of kid! It's funny cuz my son know's this child is mean and fresh - when he asks if he can play with him, when I say no, my son says, "cuz he's mean and fresh to me? he doesn't play nice??" LOL I know it's hard to face losing a friend, but you have to think - Is it really worth it? Is she really your friend? The stress, the anxiety, the exposure, the total disregard for your (and your daughter's) feelings? On very few occasions, I will allow my son to play with this monster, it's kind of hard not to as they live across the street... but it's different because my son is old enough to recognize bad behaviour - I actually tell him, "that's how we DON'T act!" But I don't know if your son is old enough to understand yet... Best of luck to you!

I too have this issue with my cousins kids. They are out of control, disrespectful and nasty. I make sure to point out to my own kids in everyone's hearing that they are not to behave in whatever way I am pointing out at the time. They get a lot of "don't you dares" because they're kids and since their cousins get away with it they try to too. I was so thankful when they moved far away and I no longer had to deal with it more then once or twice a year. Now I hate to say that because she is also my best friend and I am her kids' god mother but they are just crazy. She knows and has tried to reign them in but she will also defend them to the end if someone else says anything. I have no real solution as I am still looking for one my self but hey your not a lone.

I would try talking to the friend. Maybe she is adult enough to take in a little advice. If not, make your point by politely leaving her house when her daughter gets out of hand. Let her know that you feel the same as she does. You will not sit back and tolerate other children being mean to yours, and that's exactly what her daughter is doing. You, as a parent have that right. Hopefully she would understand. She needs to realize that just sitting back and letting her little girl act this way is totally unacceptable. She is raising a little hellion, and will pay for it more and more as the child gets older.

hello, I think the education of children belongs to parents and their teachers, parenting is a task to learn daily, none war born with a book under his arm with instructions on how to be a good parent, and as a parent to learn to be daily, one must be open to any suggestions for raising our children. I think if he told your friend to find a way for your child to be less selfish, and who does not behave as ir does, not for your particular situation, but ir will help your child to grow within the society. In any case, instead of visiting your to your friend that you visit you, maybe your child to feel "their environment", do not get bad in the reaction of another child. If it really is your friend, you must understand that what you're saying is for the good of your child and for themselves as a parent. As for whether you can make decisions with the child of your friend, do no think is appropriate, because it is a form of authority to take the (no any), but come into conflict with your friend. I have no children yet, but I think the day that accedes to have each of the tips that my friends give me.

I would go over to her house with your child one more time. If/when her daughter starts acting up and being rude to your child(ren), you should put your foot down this time and discuss the situation. Do not yell at her, but merely suggest that it is probably best that the kids do not hang as frequently for a while, due to the way they are treated by her kids, and remind her that this is not the first instance that this behavior has happened. Your children should be able to grow up with the idea that they can peacefully coexist with others, their age or not. There is always going to be some negativity, bit it sounds like your friend's child is getting out of hand. Her daughter sounds somewhat abusive. Not only is this harmful to your children, but it sets a bad example for how they should be acting. I just hope that you can sort out this situation. Good luck to you and your kids.

hi, bringing up a child is a kind of good art that every mother must posses in order to create a good generation. But some moms do not care their children well, not giving them enough moral support etc. This is how a bad person emerges in the world. The first constituent for this could definitely be his mom. In the younger age only, we can instill good morals and habits in their mind, and this will be helpful to them later in their life. So I do not want any moms like the one you have mentioned.

I think you need to let your friend know politely that you don't appreciate her daughter's behaviour. Children often need disciplining but quite often they just grow out of their ill behaviour. Before visiting your friend you could just call her up and say that you would like to come over but are afraid of her daughter's behaviour and that your little son doesn't like to be ill treated. If the behaviour persists you could perhaps keep in touch only on the telephone an stop visiting your friend for some time. That will give your friend the message.

Hello!!! I had a similiar situation with my aunts son. He is a BRAT!!!! I tried talking to my aunt about his behavior and as every mother might do, she got a little upset. Even though she got a little upset at me at that point and time, she has managed to keep her son in good behavior when we come by now. So try talking to your friend!!! She might be a little angry at first but things will work out. For all you know she might ask you for some advice. It won't hurt to try. You might be doing her a favor!