New planet discovered..... Pandaspankion 5! Human colonisation imminent.....
By James72
@James72 (26790)
Australia
September 28, 2009 3:44am CST
Yep, this is true alright and I certainly wouldn't lie about something like this! I have no idea what happened to the first 4 Pandaspankion planets, but I can only assume that they were spanked into oblivion? It was an inspiring chain of events that led to Pandaspankion 5's discovery too.....
I was panda spanking away a few weeks ago and managed to reach that deep, meditative spanking state where I find myself drifting off onto netherworld plains of bliss. (I usually only achieve this state when I've managed to effect a minimum of 500 perfectly angled and timed hand strokes) Anyhoo, I reached this level within my subconscious and there it was! Pandaspankion 5 in all it's glory! I know it was a "5" planet 'cos there was a great big black and white 5 on it. It's several light years beyond Pluto and a veritable utopia of insanity and inanity where nothing makes any sense and it never has to!
Seeing as we're approaching 1,000 Panda Spankers these days, I'm putting together a foundation colony to travel to and inhabit this planet. This is our destiny! Who's with me? Think about it..... Laughter, madness, non-stop frivolity and a nonsensical existence. The rivers flow freely with pure, unadulterated humour and the sky rains down with joy and giggles on a daily basis..... And yes, there's boobies too!
It'll take a good year or so to get there and I'm preparing a Blimp for the journey as we speak. (Thanks for leaving your blimp shed unlocked GoodYear!) Are you in? What will you bring? Are you even a Panda Spanker yet???
5 people like this
8 responses
@pixeltwistr (613)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Well sign me up for a ticket!!
I have my own boobies though so I wont be needing those...just give them to someone less fortunate!
I dont have much to bring with me..things are kinda tight here...but I got a whole suitcase FULL of crazy...is that acceptable??
2 people like this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
29 Sep 09
You have your own boobies? Excellent! The more the merrier I say, but then again, your selfless actions here in being willing to donate them to someone less fortunate is an inspiration to us all! A suitcase full of crazy is most definitely acceptable and don't forget to pack a carry-on bag full of lunacy too. Bring it all! The ticket should be delivered to you sometime between now and after now.
@pixeltwistr (613)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Oh goodie...I can't wait...
I'll be sitting by the mail box till it gets here!!
1 person likes this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
29 Sep 09
I'm not a fan of the boobies.... however... if there will also be dangly bits present, then I'd be more than willing to take the journey. I luv dangly bits!!!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
29 Sep 09
Boobies dangle, so yes, there'll be dangly bits aplenty! Sigh, there'll be those other types of dangly bits as well, but they must remain covered in public. I'm not trying to create an imbalance or double standard here or anything, but you know how it is.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Sep 09
Are you sure it isn't hidden with Obama's birth certificate?
@thebohemianheart (8827)
• United States
30 Sep 09
(I usually only achieve this state when I've managed to effect a minimum of 500 perfectly angled and timed hand strokes)
Clayton says: TMI, dude,TMI!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
Theres pandas galore on Pandaspankion 5 jb, so feel free to leave your won panda behind and bring along a few more furries instead! I think it's great that you thought about bringing snacks. I really should've considered that myself seeing as it'll be such a long journey to get there and all.....
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
28 Sep 09
Just tell me when are we leaving ?. Can I be the first one to step foot and say "One Giant step for the panda spankers" and plant the flag. And what's the gravity situation there, cause if it's anything like the moon, then i'm going to jumping with joy. It must have atleast 3 moons to bring about the insanity part of it.
I must try this 500 spank angle, who know's i just might discover something ..
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
We can leave whenever we have the numbers together! As for being the first one to set foot on Pandaspankion 5, we'll have to "rock, paper, scissor" to see who gets the honour and we'll make it best of 5! These are ideal words you've chosen too, I must say! Very reminiscent of the Lunar Landing, yet tailored beautifully to be relevant. There are 5 moons too actually..... Inaninitus, Insanitus, WTFicus, WHoohoopa and Frances. The gravity is moon-like during the daytime hours and earth-like at night, so we get the best of both worlds! I wish you every success with the 500 spank angles too Alok because I just KNOW there are more Pandaspankion type planets out there to be found.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I don't want to LIVE there, but I wouldn't mind visiting occasionally. Will you be building hotels there? An all inclusive resort would be nice. :-)
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
28 Sep 09
There'll be individual bungalows that adapt naturally to suit the person staying there. No hotels will be built instead because nobody that visits Pandaspankion 5 will ever wish to leave! And yes, the bungalows will be all inclusive and complimentary straitjackets will be provided on arrival.