Has "Love" Destroyed You?

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Love is supposed to be good thing. It is supposed to conquer all. It is meant to better your life and open your eyes to much more positive things in life. Am I right with this? How do you define love, and what do you truly expect from it? Anything? Well, like many of you I am sure, I have had my fair share of heartaches due to "love." I was tangled in a few relationships that altered my views in trust, respect, and sanctity in which love was devastatingly misjudged. I, at one time, gave the "losers" all I had to give, praying for changes in heart and that things would in fact get better. But of course, with any failing-or dead- relationship, love will not work because it wasn't love in the first place. Now I am finding myself fighting for what seems like my sanity in a current relationship. I am jealous, untrusting, and just miserable sometimes. I cannot forgive anymore-not like I used to. I don't take pride in my self and my self esteem is shot. My current beau did something that hurt my feelings in a terrible way a year ago-and I have yet to get over it, even though we have talked about it a million times. We fight constantly because I just can't get over things and believe what he tells me-which means I can't forgive him. So, again "love" is pushing me in all the wrong directions, and I can't move forward at all. I have been stuck in the same place emotionally for a year. That's not progress. So my question is-I think all the bad relationships and the hurts that have come along with them, I realize that I will never achieve a true, selfless love with someone. I understand that love and devotion require work, but in my opinion, it shouldn't be this hard. Has anyone been through this? Please share....please do! I have told him that I just can't do it, and he in turn tells me I am copping out and things are going to get better. But I feel that I have been unecessarily depressed for this long and am maxed out in stress because I SHOULDN'T be in a relationship. I realize that my issues create a huge strain on the relationship, but he insists that I need someone there with me to help. I disagree the majority of the time. I certainly don't want someone there who I don't even fully trust, which is petty-but a real reason. If you can't be your best in a relationship, and it causes you to be more sad than happy, then wouldn't anyone see that now is not the right time, or maybe that person is just better off alone?