Child Abuse

I am against child abuse in any form but lets be honest. There are time when kids can drive you crazy. When my kids were small a slap on the backside worked. As they got older and started the temper tantrum I told them they want to dance I can give them the music. Its called the backside slap. I understand that kids should not be hurt but they can not be allowed to run free. Those passing ladies even though they meant will were wrong. Any woman who has raised a child has had her nerves pulled. It would be wonderful if it never became neccery to show a child who's boss but that's a dream that's not going to happen. A child needs boundary's for there own protection. If that take a slap on the backside so be it. There is a expression the says better a child cries then the parents.

the old women don't know half of what happened.I think if these two old women were face with the situation a calming toddler,they would have spanked the child also.I think if you can't control a toddler,then maybe you shouldn't take him/her to a public place just yet.you can save yourself from getting frustrated and spanking the child in public.you can also stay away from other people who might get irritated on a crying toddler.

No, I don't think the mother gripping her child was abuse. The child was putting the mother in an embarrassing situation, by his screaming and tantrum. The child needed a couple on the seat of his pants. The mother did right to do so. Like you stated, spankings didn't work on this child. What else could the mother do, but take the child out of the restaurant by force. I don't believe in abusing any child, and clearly what the mother did was not abuse. The child was so bratty he needed some form of discipline to be administered.

I don't think that she is a child abuser, I only think that she doesn't know how to manage a child. This also means that she might be going through a very rough time, other wise a mother wouldn't really be that fierce. Call her a child abuser is a bit too harsh.

i don't see anything wrong with what the mother did,i've dragged my kids through town before,i've dragged them up the stairs and i've smacked them in public,i don't think i'm a child abuser,i'm just disciplining my kids

Absolutely abuse, first of all the mother should not take a child to a public restaurant before the child is fully trained and socialized, dragging and spanking in the bathroom is not a solution. She just thinks herself, ego, people decide to have children to satisfy their ego then they get tired of satisfying the child's ego.. If she wants to live her life she should not have a child from the beginning, now if she has one, she should spend her time for the child and don't get upset while doing this..

The two passing old ladies don't know the half of it, and I wouldn't care what they thought! Me, I would just spank the kid right then and there, because I don't care if anybody thinks that spanking is abuse! To me it's not, and that's what counts! Because if you show your child that you won't accept that behavior, you only have to show them one time, that you mean business, because if you don't , they'll do it to you again, because they know they can get away with it! My wife and I raised seven kids, and I rarely had to spank any of them, because they already knew the consequences! And no, they didn't have any repurcussions, like the 'experts' said they would, they are all grown, and have families, and they are doing well! When you say 'abuse' you are talking about a situation,something totally different!

I don't know. The fact that she dragged the child to the bathroom to spank doesn't sit right with me. Not at all judging those that give a little spank on the butt but I didn't use that form of discipline with my child. If I did...I would do it right then and right there. Why drag the child to the bathroom to do it? It actually the way you are describing it, sounds just horrible. It does sound as if the mom is losing control. When my kids acted out in a restaurant or a store, I just walked out with them. It was simple. If it was just one child acting out then gram was always more than willing to watch her while I shopped or whatever it was we were doing. The child was 3. The mom sounded out of control.

hi angelface23 if the spanking did not stop the little three year old then obviously she has already done the spanking bit too much, yes I think maybe she is abusing a little kid like that. there are much better ways to discipline a child that young and spanking is only to relieve the parents anger, it does not teach the chid anything but that big people have the power.maybe those so called old ladies just might know a bit more about raising children than the angry mom of an angry three year old.I know here in the US us old women are scorned,laughed at, but seriously maybe we did raise some fine kids and didnt have to beat them into submission to do that.Of course a kid will scream if its been spanked hard,you would too. In the first place a restaurant is not the place to start teaching your child how to behave in public,that should have been started a year earlier at home.

It's a bit of both. Obviously the mom was getting stressed and frustrated. It was certainly uncalled for to be so physical. I'm not sure I would have gone the whole "spanking in the bathroom" route. I personally would have used that bathroom break to calm and center the child so I could attempt to get some control, which works better than spankings. Then if that didn't work we too would have left, in much the same manner, but I would not have lifted the child by the shirt or been rough. I have a 3 year old myself, and I don't normally have too many problems with him in public. He cries on occassion to try to get his way, but I ignore it and it stops. Other than that he doesn't normally act out.

well snacking a three yrs old no, maybe alittle tap on the behind, and not grabbing the child by the shirt at all either

The situation is like my mother and my little brother. My brother is a special child so no matter what my mom did he never really cares and listen. My mother has a very short patience so she always beat up my brother. Until now they still do the same thing.

The two passing ladies, should mind their own business, if they can only react, by calling the mother names. It sounds like the mother was stressed, and lost her temper, but as long as the child was not hurt (physically), then i think most people would understand. The mother needs to calm down, as doing the dragging, will make the child worse, and it is not a good thing to do really, but if the child was okay, maybe just upset her mum was angry, then i think people should butt out! I also prefer not to physically repremand my child....a little deprivation of her favourite toy or something, will make her realise, she is being naughty.

Spanking a kid as a way of discipline is not really applicable nowadays. It will even add more reason that the kid will run out of enough reason to respect her mother especially that the mother grab some attention after spanking her kid at the restaurant. Parenting discussion is the only best way to gain knowledge about how the proper handling of certain issues and situations especially with taking care of kids. Let us all remember that the true essence of a woman is having a kid and that does not end in there. Putting their children into a prestigious school that may mold the kid to become a better citizen and person in the future is the number one dream of all parents. Especially when kid finished their education is the best gift that a child could give to their parents. Usually they called that piece of paper as "diploma". The very essential document that most kid used to attain and have a better, stable job not only for themselves but for their future as well. I know most of you will agree with me. Without a diploma, you will be facing difficulty to find a job with dignity and in line with your course or field that you have been studied for a long time.

Well now adays everything is considered child abuse.. when my kids were younger i use to spank them a small bit on there bottom side and tell them no.. I NEVER hurt them it was more of got there feelings hurt because mom wouldnt let me do something.. As far as a child acting up in a resturant.. there is a draw line.. some kids are so well behaved some kids arent.. there is no child abuse it carrying a misbehaved chilld to the car , bringing a child to the bathroom to spank them for there misbehavoir isnt abuse its not like she was beating her child. I have no opion on that matter at hand i have seen some really naughy children in my days, its all about discipline. i would prefer to see well behaved children knowing they were getting proper discipline rather then Abused... But nowadays the term CHILD ABUSE is used in so many cases that arent abuse... So if my 16 year old daughter says to me that im a ***** because i wont let her use the car and she swears at me and tells me she hates me and i smack her across the face is that abuse? that one time? abuse is something that goes on and on, in differnt ways for different reasons... if im walking down the street and my 4 year old son lets go of my hand after i repeatly tell him to hold it because cars and streets are dangerous and then he lets go runs in the middle of the road and almost gets hit or causes an accident then i turn around and "spank" him in the bottom.. is that abuse? No i dont think so.. I dont have a 16 year old and i dont have a 4 year old i was just setting examples..

My son was ADHD, at 3 it was not diagnosed. 99% of the time I had no problems with him. He knew the rules and the consequences but every so often,he just had to push the envelope. For example, shortly after his 3rd birthday we moved. We were at the new house cleaning. We had brought a good number of toys for him to play with while we worked. We were at the new house less than 1/2 hour when he walked out the front door and started down the street. He was brought in and firmly told he was not to do that again, he was not to leave the house alone...etc, etc. Less than 15 minutes later, out the door he went. This time he got a firm talking and a time-out. Up and out the door he went ...again. He got his butt spanked. He looked me in the eye and said I am not going to let it hurt and I am not going to cry. He didn't cry but he never exited the house out the front door again without an escort or permission for several years. Yes, we could have watched him every minute but we did not have a lot of time to do a lot of cleaning. At this point besides acting like a brat, my son was placing himself in a potentially dangerous situation. The seriousness of his actions called for serious action on my part. I would not have taken the child to the bathroom for a spanking, I would have gotten his stuff together and left the restaurant. No spanking and a minimal scene.

Hi angelface, I agree that the two ladies didn't know the whole story, but there is certainly something wrong with the picture. Surely the mother should be able to control a three year old child, if not she is in for a lot of trouble later, and so unfortunately is the child. Spanking a child is wrong, it's telling the child that violence is okay, no wonder our youth are in trouble. I would expect that the mother was spanked herself as a child and that's why she doesn't understand anything else. Parents have to realize that they are the adults and their children are learning from them. I'd be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt for once and say that she'd had a very bad day, perhaps a fight with her husband, but that's no excuse for taking it out on the child. If I knew the woman I would definitely be watching her and if it happened again, I'd report her to the authorities, not to punish her but to protect the child. To me this is child abuse. Blessings.

I wouldn`t call it child abuse. But it does come close to it. When my son was that age he could act up in public too. I would never have grabbed him up by the shirt no. But I have popped his butt in public. Not beat or spank really just a small pop. I had a lady one time give me a dirty look and I actually told her call 1 800 abuse or you take him home! My son turned out to be ADHD so maybe that little girl has something wrong too. These days you have to be so careful when you are out with little ones. Everyone calls everything abuse. I took classes on early chldhood development in college. Positive reinforcement didn`t work on my son.

Well I could agree with the two ladies since they really did not know what was going on. I might have said the same thing. But I can see that this mother was frustrated. It is true that as a parent you need to have loads of patience. But how much patients can one human being have. So a spanking is quite normal, I don't have a problem. However, it is possible that this parent has some parenting problems. This kind of behavior could not have developed over night. The child was probably pampered too much and led to believe that he/she could get away with anything. People say that you can make the child but not the child's mind. I strongly disagree. I child will only develop according to what he/she sees. Subconsciously the child's character is built solely on the persons who are in contact the most. In this case the parent.

it is a child abuse. if as a old lady she must know a 3 year old.