Fostering a Child

Well you have to see it from both sides of the story. Let's say your friend has recovered fully and is quite capable of raising a child. Then I see no problem from her perspective. However, you have to take into consideration the home's opinion. Is she really over this illness? What if there is a chance of her getting a relapse. Honestly and sadly it is very difficult for someone with a bad history whether it be mental illness or even crime to be entrusted with something like that, even though they have changed. Such is life.

that is such bullsh*t that they would do that to her!! when there are thousands of children out there that need a really good home!! i am not sure what state you live in, but i don't think they would do there here in NYC. and if they did, then they are stupid too. i am so sorry for your friend. but you tell her i said to hold her head and know that she will get what she wants. just know it to be true.

well I know the woman that got 2 of my boys at first had a breakdown right after she got them like she was unstable before hand and they topped the cake. So when she had the breakdown they put the boys in 2 different homes so none of them were together. So since the woman has already had a breakdown they might feel like this might happen again and then what would happen to the child then would just have to be sent to another foster home or finally find adopted parents for it.

Several years ago I signed up to be Big Sister. I went into the interview and everything. I was rejected because I was bipolar.

Hopefully they won't hold it against her..both the child and her would be missing a great opportunity..especially the child. I don't know why they would hold it against her unless she appears to be unstable....

hi gabs ... i have been trying to have a baby for a long time ... have gone tru IVF failure, now i am going tru some 'homeopathy' - i have been depressed for some time now .. we spent lots of money on this treatments .. Honestly me and husband discussed on adopting a child but we doubt ourselves if we can really do it, we have talked it over and are scared to go ahead with this as we fear for the worst ... i cant actually put it in words here, but i will try : - sometimes when we are depressed, our mind does not work "straight", we have seen some biological mothers, killing thier own child - now having someone elses kid and we being responsible .. actually "heavier responsibility" , we may tend to break down worst then before .. I am being logical here .. - if it was my own child, and i had a "breakdown", my family will still be there to take care of the child as it is of "blood" relation to them .. my advise is for her to spend lots of time at orphanages be around children, help in the cleaning and laundry .. Gabs .. i know nothing about the law - only ourselves - i am a manager in hospitality industry and my husband is police officer with a good rank, and this is how we think cheers

I have heard things like this before, and do find this a little SAD. When there are so many children out there needing Good homes, and so many kids in homes being abused severely everyday by people the Society tends to think are "Good Outstanding People", even higher up in offices or churches, it makes you wonder where the rules really lie. To me I think they need to find better ways to evaluate someone, or when in doubt give them a Trial thing where someone is given a child for a day and then monitor them to see how they would care for them, etc. and then decide from there. And how many Foster parents abuse their kids and it takes until one is almost murdered before they loose that priveledge? Unfortunately there is a BIG flaw in the system and somehow something needs to be done to change it.

I agree with you gabs. Mental illness is a disease that can not be cured. It can be managed with medication and/or counseling but that shouldn't stop someone from realizing their dream of becoming a mother. I'm childless and cope with depression but I don't think it'll be held against me here in the States but where you are, I don't know what the rules are but if that is held against her, that would NOT be right at all.

hi gabs oh my thats not fair, she is able now to care for a foster child, why hold her past against her. 'Did she really have to report all that, I suppose she did of course.the law is the law but sometimes laws are not all that great. I hope she can go ahead' with this and not be stopped by some stupid outdated law.

The only think I can say is how can they be sure she is fully recovered, they have no way of knowing that for sure. Since we are talking about children I do think they need to be careful, but I don't think they should totally rule her out. Maybe evaluate her for 6 months or something on her own to make sure she is stable or possibly give her an older child and re-evaluate frequently and then if all seems well allow her to take in younger ones after a time. I think they should give her some sort of a chance, but I can't entirely blame them for being caucious. I do hope she gets her wish and is able to become a foster parent.

I can completely understand why they would hold some things against a person in terms of fostering a child. i.e. previous abuse to a child, previous criminal record and/or self destructive behavior. That said, when a person has had a problem in the past but they are able to prove that they are recovered through the qualification process and home studies, etc. I think that people should be allowed to foster a child. There are so many people out there that would like to have a child to take care of and so many children that need someone to love them. I don't think that the mistakes that a person makes in the past should necessarily be held against them for life.

If you are not financially able, this will be held against you. In your friend's case, it is made worse because of her depression. This is a big no! no! So, I will not pursue fostering. It is definitely not good for the child.

I think It's good ecause we are all brothers and sisters