Should marriage relationship be kept for kid's reason?

Marriage can be difficult under any circumstances. The best reasons of all should be love, trust and respect for each other. Having children in a troubled marriage makes life more of a trial. You want your marriage to work. You don't want to break up a family. Staying together for the sake of a child is not a good enough reason to keep the marriage united. Children will grow up and move on with their own lives. If you are left with a loveless marrige, you will find yourself alone. Stay married because it is what you want from that person. Your children should be the glory to come from that union. They shouldn't be the reason for being.

I think it should be untill The children are at an acceptable age. My friends parents recently broke up but because he was at an old enough age to accept that love sometimes windles away he could accept that his parents were breaking up. If the kid is young I don't think that they should break up because growing up without a motherly or fatherly figure would have bad effects on the children. Good question.

Yes, I think it's possible, though I'm unmarried. In my country-China, pairs about my parent's age, it's common. Most of they can keep on the relationship all their lives. A few of them will divorce after their kids entering universities. We call this kind of marriage "makeshift" (In Chinese "Cuo Huo"). - I think it's a unique culture in China. But now my peers, they pay more attention on quality of life. So this kind of marriage is less. So generally speaking, it depends on your friend's opinion and her philosophy.

It is a very sad situation. It is good for the future of the kids for the parents to be together. It is very good for the mental health and happiness of the kids. But, you also have to consider the happiness and mental situation of the mother. It is not easy for a woman to stay with a husband who betrays her. It will be great if she can find somebody who can consider and love the child as his own child.

For me, I can not accept the marriage just being related by the kids. Respect and Honest are the basic principles that marriage should obey. Once one part broke it, it is insignificant to keep the relationship anymore. Maybe divorce will hurt the kid, but I don't think the kid will live in a happy family without the real love, one day, the kid will understand when he is old enough, surely we should take measurement to lower the hurt to the lowest if any. One of my friends lived in a single family, but she is still optimistic and with outgoing personality with living together with her mum. It depends on how her mum teaches her.

There are many marriage that kept just because of their kids. The sad thing is things may be worst. What if, they are keep on arguing in front of the kid or the kid is listening to them.it. There will be a psychological effect to that to the children. A marriage should be kept because of love not because of something else. Just like your pregnant, you should be married because your pregnant even if there is no assurance that person love you. What if it is just for fun? You have no hold with it.

no i don't because i think kids are pretty smart and if there is tension in a relationship, they will pick up on it and the tension affects them negatively. i think she is best to get out and go on with her life (if that is her choice).

i know some stay together until the kids are old enough, or finish school. my ex-sister inlaw cheated on her husband and they split, there was more to it. i'm working on walking away when my partner finally gets a job, got to think of my sanity. my partner can be a very nasty person and thinks it's ok to do so. but if the husband keeps cheating, and it's a know fact what will the daughter learn that to cheat on your partner is fine.

Even if they can keep up a pleasant front in front of the child, kids KNOW when things are wrong. Also, your friend has a right to find happiness with somebody who will respect her and treat her right. I don't think she has any reason to stay. If he were repentant and determined not to do it again, OK, but if he isn't even sorry? He'll just do it again, I bet.

Perhaps I'm not the best one to speak my mind on this one...but here it goes: My first marriage was done young and I stayed with him after our daughter was born because...it was my marriage. I should stay with him even though things weren't working out well. The thing I had to concentrate on most wasn't the past or the present sadness: but what could this man offer to the FAMILY. It wasn't much. Sadly, he wasn't a worker and I felt if I stayed with him, he'd bring us down one form or another. Good thing I left that marriage...and the next...and the last. It got easier, but it's never an easy choice. If the husband showed no guilt in it, then he was doing this for quite sometime in one form or another. She can either stay with him, but he will resent her and the child will pick up on the vibes. I would leave, plain and simple. There's other men out there that will treat her the way she should be. It may not happen right away, but it will work out. *Pleiades

Hello Karen, That depends on each individual's opinion and thinking. But if u ask about me,well,i won't hesitate to file for a divorce if he can't stop his wrong doings. Living under one roof and fighting will also give the child some trauma. And,marriage is not a valid reason for staying and living together when love is gone and what most "respect". When a husband cannot give such respect to his wife anymore,why live together? It would be difficult for the child to understand,but when she grows up,im sure she will be able to understand and figure about it. It is really hard and pain to stay in such situation,emotionally battered will leave more pain than,physical abuse.

Im on both sides on this topic and I totally agree to all above responses.Whatever your friend's choice will probably have the pros and cons.But if she would think of her kid's welfare then I think its time for them(couple) to get a professional help.Seek for a marriage counseling.Maybe there is still a happy ending at the end of the line.I may sound idealistic but lets not always think of divorce as the last resort for any marital conflict.

I think relationships afship must be open even to children. They are part of the family. The must be explained well by parents in a way that children could understand. Nobody knows what the children will think about if they are not explained well of what is happening. Parents may regret it.

I think though it is not the only reason,it is a important one.In fact,there are many marriage relationships are kept by the children.As you say,mother's love to her child is the greatest,so many times they choose keeping a broken marriage relationship,but it is not the best choice sometimes.If me,i don't know what is my choice.Maybe don't have the chance to choose is the best.hehe~

I guess marriages are made in heaven so do not make a hell out of your life by just breaking it up whatsoever maybe the reason. Differences like this mishaps will age and pass off in time and people are bound to make mistakes and sometimes grave ones unforgivable. So when God can forgive why cannot the humans too...smiles...thanx

hello, I think if they quarrel every day, and their relationship really can not be recove, it is better to get devoice than being together. I mean if they quarrel everyday, or keep silience with each other, that's even worse for the child. Children should be grow up happily, they don't want their parents quarreling. I think if your friends really wants to give her child a better future, she may try to learn to forgive her husband, and try to make their relationship as good as before. Sometimes people just too stubborn and don't want to confess they are wrong, but if you can forget all those things, and sit down, discuss patiently and try to understand each other's situation, issues can be solved.

I don't think people should stay together for the sake of the children. Children should grow up in a happy home (or homes if the parents separate). Just because a marriage dissolves and the parents divorce, does not mean the children will no longer have a father or mother. They will just have two homes. Children are very capable of adjusting to this, and I think it is more important for them to see their parents happy, and in good relationships. Regardless of the child's age (unless they are infants) it should be explained to them in simple terms they can relate to. I think this sets a better example for the children. I want my children to grow up and lead happy lives. I wouldn't want them to think that is is acceptable to be unhappy or miserable for any reason.

staying together will just make the situation worst. when a trust is lost the relationship can never work.

No. I dont think marriage should be kerpt simply for the reasons of the child's welfare. Actually, the question would be is "Would keeping a broken relationship really for the child's best interest". I would have to answer in the negative. It would be better for the couple to divorce than to continue with the quarrels and fights which would in turn affect their relationship with their child as well. In due time, the child would understand the reason why her parents separated. It would be worse for the child to grow up, seeing her parents quarrel. Moreover, in a divorce case, the parents are separated but it doesnt mean they sever their ties and relationship with the child. It would be better for the child to love under the custody of one parent with visitation rights granted to the other rather than have the couple live together and let the child see the worsening condtion of their relationship. It could not be argued that the quarrels could be hidden from the child because these quarrels between them could not remain hidden foreover. In time, the child would find out the truth about the current standing of her parent's relationship. It would be better to separate as early as now instead of making things worse for all the parties involved. :)