Too little or too much?

It is your house so she has to live by your rules. She wasn't raised by you so she doesn't do more than less. You should just sit her down and tell her what yioy ned done. Then see if she does it. If she doesn't , then she has to go. But if she does do it but not as fast , then she should stay. Everyone works at different speeds.I never do More than I need to, I do work hard to get things done but that's different. I don't go out of my way to do more.

Honey I have a grandson that up until a few days ago for various reasons he was homeless, attitude mostly. He is 22, now he will work his butt off if he can find a job, I felt sorry for him, and let him stay with me. i thought it would be good for both of us, he was in out of the weather, a place to eat and I would have someone here with me at night. Well, he came in flopped down on the couch, and that is where he stayed, with his work boots on and up on the couch when he slept. For 2 days he laid there, when he got up I ask him to take out the trash, and he just ignored me. I cooked supper, he went made him a plate, set it on the coffee table and when done left it there.So now at 62 years of age, I have to still take out the trash, and clean up after another one. One morning I ask him to turn the channel on the tv to the news so i could see the weather, he turned it but kept going to something else so I could not see weather, when I ask for the remote, he said I got the remote and you don't need it, long as I got it I watch what I want. Well I am the type that you in my house I pay for the cable for the tv and you just messed up. I am trying when no one else will to give you a home and you going to act like that. It took the police to take him out of here. Yes you can wait a couple days and see if this other person does their part, if they don't then my suggestion to you is get rid of them now. You surely don't need another person to pick up after, and I doubt if the one helping you likes it either. There are some that will take advantage of a situation, they can't help themselves let alone someone else, it's an attitude that seems to come with them as if someone owes them a living. I don't know how old you are but you don't need more work to do.

Hey worldwise~ I know that this is probably a very awkward position to be in. But, if you wait too long it will just become much more difficult as time goes on. If you are already seeing that this girl is not going to be helpful in keeping up with the housework then I think that you should tell her nicely now before things get too far out of hand. It is better to catch things right off then to wait until they have gotten too far out of control and then you are too angry. Just sit her down and explain to her your position. She is a guest in your house and needs to comply somewhat with the house "rules". Afterall your daughter helps you out, the she needs to also. I would try that approach and see what happens.

I would not wait to talk to this person. Tell her how you feel in an honest, but kind manner. Maybe she id just unsure of what to do to help out. I have always found that it is best to lay it all on the table in the beginning to avoid any misunderstanding later. At least if you tell her what you expect, she cannot say that she did not know.

Yes say something. a ground work of what is expected should be done right off the bat. If she feels awkward doing chores with out being told she won't do them. It can be strange being in some one else's house. Also the ground work should be laid out so that everyone knows what is expected of them.

I really think you should address this situation right off, rather than wait. I mean if indeed she has not been doing her part for, say, a couple of weeks or so, I don't think she is going to start doing it all of a sudden (on her own). Perhaps, you can drop a few gentle hints and see if she gets the point. Perhaps, commending your daughter in front of her - for the work she does - might get her attention and let her know that she needs to do her part as well. If that doesn't work and she's too dumb to understand the gentle hints, then you'd need to have a frank and honest talk with her and lay it down straight. Coming back to the "too little or too much" debate, I know of one thing where "too little" is always better than "too much" and that is when it comes to "talking." In that respect, I've always found that talking "little" is always better than talking "too much." Especially, if you are the sort who are prone to gaffes and inappropriate comments which end up hurting others and ruining the relationships you have!!!

I would address it immediately. I would be nice but to the point. Don't let anyone take advantage of you like that. You should not have to clean up behind her. She should be cleaning up behind you.

Personally I would put the rules down to her from Day 1 as she might not know what is expected from her or she thinks she is going to be waited on, if you wait a few Days she might just get an attitude To me if I put the rules down from Day 1 they do not have the excuse to say well I didn't know

I would address the issue right off the bat. I have always done good unto others too and got the short end of the stick. I would never take another person into my home ever again. It never works out.

Some people seem to feel that if they're asked to do their fair share that they are the ones being taken advantage of. That's just their mindset. I'd address the issue right now since you didn't lay down ground rules before you took that relative in. I have rarely been in a position to take in others, but when I have, ground rules are pretty simple. Meals are at this time, if you want in-between-snacks, provide them yourself. Pick up after yourself. If that person doesn't seem to be a self starter assign jobs. They have no right accept your hospitality and expect you and your daughter to be their servants.

I would suggest to this newest resident that she could do X,Y & Z to help out and give her the opportunity to step up to the plate or not...and I wouldn't wait to talk to her. Sometimes folks need to be motivated, especially if they're lazy or believe that they can get a free ride if no one speaks up.

My son and I've been in a situation where we needed a place to stay and had to travel and go stay with my family. We hadn't been there even 1 day before starting to get bossed, ordered around and told what to do. We ended up not staying but a few days because of the bad way they were treating us. We ended up going back to where we use to live at for years and had to go asking non family for help. My son and I now live kind of far from family. They say they love me but you know actions speak louder then words. I think it's important to try not to over do things. A home of course shouldn't be filthy but at the same time it doesn't have to be spotless. Maybe you could offer the young girl a little money to do some chores. In any case please be kind. What's that saying about sugar coating goes allot farther then something ...

When she moved in the rules should have been stated. I nor my daughter will clean up after you. You need to clean up after yourself. I'm not in good health and my daughter already does more than enough. I can't imagine living with someone and not doing my share. In fact I'm like your daughter I do more then my share and have done this all my life.

I think that you should give the girl some jobs to do and if she does them give her some money, but to do that you should take away some of her privlages.