What is more painful-- physical or emotional abuse?
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
Philippines
September 30, 2009 3:46pm CST
What is more painful- physical abuse or emotional abuse?
Physical abuse is physical force or violence that result in injury, wound and pain. Any form of violence resulting to physical pain or injury is called physical abuse. Physically abused person feels helpless and small.
Emotional abuse drains you. You lose your self steem and happiness whether you are aware or not. Your depressions' root is the emotional abuse that you are getting from your love ones. Emotional abused person experiences psychological problem, others may deny it but you can tell by the way they think and deal about life.
Between the two what do you think is more painful? Both are heavy but I think emotional abuse is more painful. Physical pains and wound can be cured in a month or two, your wounds are totally healed except for the scars left. And once out of the abusive partner and eventually found a new good man, the abusive person can easily move on. But the pain caused by emotional abuse will remain in our head and it has a great impact in the life of the abused person. She or he may not noticed it but her/his personality was molded by his/ her experienced. Just like a child, if always being put to down by his/her parents he will lose his confidence. And that he/she will bring to her growth. In order for the emotionally abused person to overcome his/ her pain he must deal and seek for the help of psychologist. It will take a long proccess.
For you what is more easy to overcome? Physical or emotional abuse?
1 person likes this
22 responses
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
1 Oct 09
it will always be emotional abuse... really painful and nobody will ever understand what you're going through. you can always share what you feel and think about your situation but nobody will ever see real PAIN that you have within... no physical manifestions, no scars--NOTHING. you can always fake what you really feel, smile, shrug a shoulder, ignore things but the emotional scar, the pain will continue to linger.
emotional abuse can be fatal. if you are in this situation you really need professional help. someone to help you process things and heal those unseen wounds. counseling and support group activities will help you manage and get through with this situation. then move on!
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
2 Oct 09
just being there for them will make them feel better. i hope there wil be people around to have time and patience to keep with friends and family member undergoing this kind of process. they should not have the feeling of being alone and left out. they have to be assured that there's always someone whom they can talk to and cry on.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Exactly msfrancisco! At times like these, the abused person nees more affection and understanding. His or her relatives should help him or her to stand up and overcome his or her bad experiences... It will be more easy for the person to get over or move on if there is support and love from his own family.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
People experienced abuse will and can only overcome the pain if people around him are supportive and understanding. Sharing, talking and releasing the pain helps a lot.
Thank you for responding ms francisco939.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
i strongly agree to all the responders on this discussion that says emotional abuse is more painful than physical abuse.it is also true that physical abuse can easily be healed by time.unlike when you are emotionally abused,it takes a lifetime to forget.for i myself is a living proof of it.my mom was a disciplinarian she would hit me fast everytime i commit mistakes when i was small.but the memories of it does'nt hurt me at all but those harsh words i received from her are the things that constantly haunting me.i even received a painful words from my aunt and considering that it had happened for almost a decade now but yet the pain and the anger in me lingers.and i exactly feel it just the way i felt it from that very moment.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Hi ally! I hope you are already fine now! Yes whenever we feel down and depressed, talking to God always lighten up our burdens. You will find peace on Him. God bless you!
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
Being abused by the people that should suppose to love and care for you is really terrible. That is the most painful part. The people whom you think will support and love you when things go wrong are the ones hurting you.
This thing is really happening in real life and that is so disappointing. I wish you find the happiness in life. If you cannot get the love and support from your family, you can always turn to God.
@xayuk69 (267)
• Malta
2 Oct 09
I think both physical and emotional abuse are painful.Physical abuse also causes an emotional pain as you often end up asking why you have been physically abused.The physical pain lasts for a short time but the emotional abuse lasts your lifetime and is quite impossible to get over it especially without help from professional doctors!
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
To add on even if you had therapy and learned to forget about that bad experience, that abusive act that you have been through has caused you to change somehow. Like your way of socializing with others, or so...
@ravirai8616561 (824)
• India
1 Oct 09
I personally believe that physical ailments do get healed with time while the psychological ailments do not get healed over time rather they get fresh with reminders and provide more pain than the physical ones.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
1 Oct 09
i agree with you. if possible avoid any discussions that could refresh pains but on the other hand this can also help in the healing process facing the truth and everything related to it.
family and friends support matters a lot in the healing process. the process may take a longer period of time but in time it will be healed.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Sometimes we get depressed and remembered all the bad things that we been through. But I know that feeling just come and go. It is really hard to forget the emotional pain, others may not understand that. Sometimes it is just easy to say that one must move on and stop focusing on past.
I think one way of forgetting the pain is to forgive ourselves also. Accept that it is over and we cannot do anything to put it back and correct it.
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
1 Oct 09
Having been both physically and emotionally abused I would say emotionally. Because the most painful part of physical abuse is actually the emotional and psychological effects it has on you.
Emotional abuse, or emotional damage from physical abuse, is the thing that lasts into your later life, and is the thing you have to overcome in your daily life, undoing old voices in your head telling you the things you were taught to believe about yourself.
It is also, as someone else said, much harder to see and to get people to understand.
Both are as bad, but both are emotional abuse anyway.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
I understand English TeaDuck, physical abuse can cause emotional pain too. I appreciate your response. Hearing from a person who have experience both would explain more and make others understand more what an abused person is going through... Those small voices that are running on your head is really hard to ignore.
Thank you for sharing EnglishTeaDuck!
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Yeah! Like a ghost that will hunt you down. Something that will always be there and the effect on you will go out again and agin especially if something has triggers... It has psychological effects too.
@d_red_madelaine (528)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Emotional abuse is more painful. Physical hurts but it heals fast. While Emotional it hurts so bad and lasts until you can still remember it. Emotional abuse takes time to heal and forget sometimes you don't forget though you are healed but still the pain is there.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Emotinal abuse is harder to manage it can be compared to some people who are having a hard time to forgive and forget. That is very difficult for it doesn't scarred our skin only.
Thank you for sharing your views d_red_madelaine!
@bitoffun (203)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I was emotionallly , physically, verbally abused for most of my life. I can tell you from personal experience that both stay with you for the rest of your life. I am afraid of almost every man, I have no self confidence at all, I`m always afraid of messing up at work ( when I used to work), I always fear getting someone mad at me, I always fear that I will get hit. My hubby I am with now has never called me a name or raised a hand to me. He is the best man I have ever been with. It took a long time for me to trust him as far as hitting me. I have no rules to follow anymore or fear of being at the store too long. Both of these will leave scars of some kind for ever. It never goes away.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
Thank you so much for sharing. That is really true, all your into are affected if you were an abused person. You get scared, lose confidence and feel very insecure. Trusting is really hard, because you always associate the people around you now as your future abuser.
It is so nice that you finally found the right man for you. There is really someone out there, given by God. God bless you and happy mylotting!
@biman_s (1060)
• India
1 Oct 09
Physical abuses can be healed by taking medicines but emotional abuses are very hard to heal. Sometimes they can never be healed which leads to the complete destruction of the person. I have been hurt by a girl when I was in school and it was hard for me but I was fortunate to have someone better than her who made my wound heal.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
That is good to hear. The thing that will surely help us totally overcome the pain that we been through is a good experience. Focusing on a better and happy future ahead. It's a matter of reprograming your mind and heart. Keep it up.
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
1 Oct 09
Hello lovelyn..I hope you are doing good today.
I have been on both side of this street. It has been many years but yes I too lived with an abusive husband. In the beginning it was the physical abuse. Not as bad as some but it was still there. He would throw pop cans at me when he got mad. Why pop cans that was what he always had close to him when he got mad. Then few years after that he turned that into emotional abuse. Calling me names and putting me down. I could heal quickly from the bruse of that pop can in a few days. When it came to the emotional abuse it stayed with me. I still today can have some depression that stems from his emotional words to me. A person can heal from those bruses but the emotional takes mucher longer to heal. It can give someone a life damage effect on them.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
2 Oct 09
What you have been through really saddens me. Are you still with that guy? I suggest you leave him and make him realize what he was doing to you is ABSOLUTELY WRONG. He should never treat people like that, no matter how big the sin that has done to him. Dont allow him to continue what he was doing to you. If you keep this man, he might do something more to you. He is not worthy.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I think that both physical and emotional abuse can be equally as painful. Physical abuse is more visible to the outside world. Physical pain is felt all at once. Emotional pain is something that can be endured over time. Emotional scars are easier to heal. They are both unbearable. As for being painful, it all depends on what you have to put up with.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
It all depends on how strong a person is. How much pain can she or he handles. Both act are abusive and has effect on ones personality... Physical wounds are painful but in two to three days, that pain is gone or almost gone.
@good2go2001 (915)
• United States
1 Oct 09
I think both because physical abuse has emotional strings attached to it. I understand that wounds heal but the emotional side of physical abuse never goes away. So then theres the other type of relationship that no physical abuse has ever happened but the emotional abuse has been so unbearable that one just starts to think they deserve to be treated in this manor. I have been involved in a relationship that for 20 years theres been both but now its only emotional abuse and i can tell you there are scars that will never heal from both forms. I know people says to just leave the relationship but its really not that easy when you have children involved. They dont see the abuse now because they just are older and they think that is just how its suposed to be. I have definitely messed up and stayed in the relationship for the children because now they see this as an ok way of life. If i had any advvice for people out there it would be leave the relationship while the children are young enough that they dont get programmed to see this as a normal life.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
I think it is healthier for the kids if couples go on separate ways rather than stay while children see how miserable their family is. It is better for the kids to live in a happy environment and if the couples are arguing everyday, kids may not talk but it does affect them emotionally. So you see you are not just messing your life. Going on separate lives doesn't mean that you will neglect your responsibilities to your kids.
Now, if you think the marriage can still be saved, then better deal with it. Keep your communication line always open. You need to discuss things with your husband. Don't just fixed your relationship just because of your kids. Do it for yourself.
@forestgold (792)
•
1 Oct 09
I think emotional abuse is harder to overcome.
It stays with you, pschologically, whereas, physical abuse, the wounds heal over time, and you can move on.
Definetely emotional abuse is worse. 
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
It is really hard to reprogram our mind after being in an abusive relationship. Getting into counselling and talking to support themes will really help a lot. Thank you for responding forestgold.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Hi asfiona! Thank you for sharing your views. Emotional abuse really makes a person focus on past. He is hunted by his bad experiences. He tend to be scared all the time. That is because strong pain controls our mind.
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Sooner or later the physical pain is gone, whether we like it or not. But emotional pain stays for a long time and in some cases people carry it to their graves. That is the gravity of emotional pain. Not only that it also results to physical pain. Many of what we feel physically are psychosomatic illnesses caused by the mind and aggravated by the emotions. That's how terrible emotional pain is.
In some cases, it takes the help and intervention of experts for us to overcome them.
Thanks.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Hi manong05! Sorry for the late comment. You probably forgot about this topic already. This was 4 months ago. 
I agree it is always good to seek the help of an expert. They will help the abused person overcome his bad experiences and move on with his life.
I agree it is always good to seek the help of an expert. They will help the abused person overcome his bad experiences and move on with his life.@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
That is true. The bad experiences affect ones personality as a whole. That emotional abuse that the person had been through will be like a ghost that will scare him/her forever.
@WANDALIE44 (888)
• United States
30 Sep 09
i think that both kinds of abuse is harmful to any one. one is on the outside and the other is invisable. but both do damage. the scars may offtend heal but to you they are always thier. no one should go thru any kind of abuse whether mental or physical can be down right damaging.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Hello WANDALIE44! You are right both act are abusive and nobody deserve to be treated like that. Either way, it can damage to the person. Physical abuse has emotional effects too...
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
30 Sep 09
I think that both types of abuse can be just as harmful and hurtful as the other. It's really difficult to compare which one might be more dangerous and harmful. Neither are right. No one should have to suffer from any kind of abuse, whether it's physical or emotional or any other form of abuse. No matter what kind of abuse you have suffered from you need help no only from the police, but also from case workers, psychologists, or someone like that.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
You are right, dodo19. Nobody deserved to be abused whether he or she has done something really bad. Nobody has the right to abuse any person. That is against the law.
@irene3184 (898)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
Its very hard to choose between a physical and emotional abuse because I've never experience such situation. But I think the more easy to overcome is physical abuse compare to emotional abuse? Am I pointing into something? I had been emotionally depressed and stressed which it takes time for me to get over it totally.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
1 Oct 09
If your emotional depression is caused by someone who is trying to control you or saying things against you that really put your spirit down, I guess you were somehow emotionally abused. Sometimes we just don't notice but it has greatly affects us.
@anselseenu (27)
• India
30 Sep 09
Its surely the emotional abuse because the pain given by physical force varies depending upon the person as some will more gigantic and some will be weak.. The weak person suffers more pain than the strong one.. and also the pain will be for short time whereas the emotional attacks everyone equally and very hardly.. and that pain cannot be healed forever...
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
11 Jan 10
Righ anselseenu... wherever we look at it emotional abuse has greater impact. Though physical abuse is not also good for anyone... Even if the abused person undergo theraphy, that still somehow affects his way of life and thinking...
