Cat owners - your suggestions please.....

Aw, it sounds like she has been mistreated, by a male, and she is now wary of them, god love her I had similar with my Border Collie, she was afraid of the milkman, and we wondered if she was abused by someone, who dressed similar, as she was definetely wary of my milkman, and would growl at him. We took it slow, i let her see that i was friends with the milkman, and petted her, and stroked her, whilst chatting with him, gradually letting him sroke her too. She was wary at first, but now she is fine with him, i think your boyfriend should just take it slow, and let her be curious of him. Given time, she will see he is there, as part of your little group, not to hurt her, and i am sure she will settle. Good luck.

Though it could be so, as many noted about the kitty's past possibility of a bad experience with a male or similar scent person... Here's my case: one of my little family members, who is a "senior cat," we adopted when she was just a kitty too, several months old. We adopted her with her sister (dear sweetie who we have lost). Now, at times, I think if I were a visitor, I'd even have the back thought that I might be cruel to her, because over all the years, I tried to get her to spend more time with me- nada. She cringes whenever anybody that is FEMALE (so it seems) tries to pet her or just cuddle or give her a warm nod to, she slithers away or runs for the dickens. But with my father she always slept with, cuddled with, purred with, and rubbed against. And we think it may just be something she was born with, because her "fraternal twin" loved us all so much, and they were completely different in character. However, one thing that makes her happy around me is when I take out the comb. She loves to be combed, and will plop onto her back, tummy in the air to be combed. Otherwise, I feel like an evil, scary monster, how she runs away when I try to pet her or give her any loving nods.

some cats are just like that with people. one of my males does that sometimes and he's never been abused a day in his life. it's like the swiftness of the hand movement startles him. i've had some adoptions that were borderline feral/distrustful of people and what i usually did was just sit on the floor and read or watch tv,and let them gradually come over by themselves.after awhile,they stopped the fear display.

I’ve had the same problem with a little stray that we adopted four years ago. She was in poor condition, had clearly been abandoned, possibly mistreated and was very timid. She had no problem with our dog, our other rather large cat but my husband she feared so much that she would not set foot in any room he happened to be in. Our vet seems to think that she may have been kicked or hurt in some way by a male in the past; she had no hassles with me or my daughter and would follow us around. What we did was introduce her to my husband a few minutes at a time every day and slowly increased the length of time; he also made a point not to startle her and gently pet her whenever he was near her; it took over a year but now she has no problem with him, she still doesn’t like him picking her up but she is fine sitting next to him. It took a lot of time and patience but we got there in the end. Good luck with your cat, I'm sure given enough time she will adjust to your boyfriend.

i've a cat too, and when tehre is another person outside the family she go away and stay hidden to wathc us. i think that the only things that you need is much time, she will accept your boyfriend when is the right moment.

I will give one idea ask your boyfriend to stay to your home for one week and ask him to feed the cat for all the session. Then you will be surprised that it will be friendly with your friend. It should be taken care of your boyfriend throughout the week time.

I would guess that some male hurt her in her past. Probably if he took over all the feeding and also do you best to have him be her major interaction for affection. I know this will be hard, but maybe when he's there, but really he should be doing all the feeding...

Don't get too upset about your new family member being frightened of your BF. I had the same problem with my little girl, Murphy. Some time in the past your baby was either frightened from a man's booming voice or a man abused her. Abuse sticks with an animal for quite awhile. I figure that it is the abuse angle because she cowers and runs away. Now, first, let your new baby come to him. If she has a favorite treat, have him give it to her, she'll begin to associate his scent with good stuff. You might even let him do the feeding too, to get her used to his scent. It will take a little time but soon she will start approaching him and sniffing him to compare scents. Don't have him try to pet her, just let her make the moves. Pretty soon she'll be in his lap wanting him to pet her. He needs to be patient and not force the issue. She will remember his staying with her the first couple of nights, but maybe is having separation anxiety from his not paying her total attention like he did when she first arrives. But by backing off and letting her make the first moves, she will become more and more friendly towards him. It isn't that your BF did anything, it is something that happened in the past.

animals sense things. maybe there is something about your boyfriend that she doesnt like, such as his smell, cologne, etc. experiment, and let ur boyfriend wear a different outfit or a different cologne. or change his hair or wear a hat or just do something different and then see how the cat responds.

Hey magickat! I tend to agree with most of the posters here too! I think that your cat was probably frightened by a male and is still afraid so it will just take time for her to adjust to your bf! I have the opposite problem! My bf has made my cats afraid of him and I want to kill him! He didn't like them sleeping in the bed so now they are scared of him when they hear him coming home they run! I have been smacking HIM for doing that to them because I don't want them ever to be afraid of ANYONE! So he gets smacked in the head alot! My cats were never afraid before and now I have to convince them it's ok to be in the bed! My bf will pay dearly for what he's done! My cats come first always!

It might be the cologne he is wearing. My husband went and changed his cologne and our cat wouldn't go around him for days, lol. Then he changed back and hello she jumped back into his lap like nothing ever happened. They have keen senses, smelling, hearing, etc. Have your boyfriend come over without cologne and see what she does. Good Luck!

OH, that poor baby. She must have been abused by a male in the past. Cat's are so picky. My son had a boy cat that was really pretty. His name was 'Spunky'. I did all I could to get to love me as much as he did my son, but NO WAY!!! Generally, they pick their human "pet" why b4 we have any idea. OR like I said something bad coulda happen in her past and men just scare her off men. Maybe?

My cats were afraid of males also. It took them awhile to get used to my then boyfriend. I do think the one was abused by a male when she was in another home. She was a little afraid of everyone at first, even me. They eventually got used to him, which was good as he became my husband, but they always seemed to prefer females and of course me. I think that had a lot to do with always being around a female, and I was always good to them. They just weren't as used to him, even though he was a cat person also and never mistreated them. It just takes time I guess. Maybe they feel more comfortable around females because of their mother, I don't know.

Does he have a cat. Most cats are territoral with each other.