Does divorce have to change your life forever?

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I am relatively new to this whole forum. However, I can see the potential to generate some strong interaction for the purpose of helping myself and perhaps others at the same time. I have been divorced for ten years now. One morning while getting ready for work, I found a note from my now ex-wife questioning why we were still together. At the time we had two daughters, a two year old and a five year old. On reading the note, I almost collapsed to the ground. I had no idea we were drifting apart. She was very involved in her work, mostly nights and weekends. Subsequently, I played a big role in caring for our children. As a result, our time together was becoming more limited. I new in my heart that as we improved it would not always be that way. Over the next few months I made every effort to make some changes in an effort to save our marriage. I even attended couples therapy at the request of my ex-wife only to find out later that she was only in it for herself. To make a long story short, despite my efforts to save the marriage, my ex kept pushing me away and made my life so difficult that I had to move out. Within months I learned that she had a boy friend. I believe it had been going on for some time and that she was drawn to he for financial reasons. That a aside, the divorce finally came and she was re-married a year later. As the years progressed, she made every effort possible to alienate my children from me and to make things very difficult. I believe it was her intention to make things so difficult for me that I would just give up and let her have the children full time. I never did give up and as difficult as it became made every effort to see and be with my children. It eventually cost me my career. Five years after the divorce, I found the love of my life and re-married. We have a beautiful daughter together. My ex still makes things difficult when it comes to my older girls. Her unwillingness to be amicable when it comes to the children is affecting my wife and young daughter. She will not acknowledge my wife whatsoever and never engages in any conversation about the children unless she needs money. My oldest daughter now 17 rarely comes to see us anymore as her mother's influence has finally taken over. My 14 year old still comes now and then, but appears to be following the same path as her older sister now that she is in high school. I guess through the thick of all this, does it every end? I have set aside my dislike for my ex long ago and have tired to move on. However, she will not. Despite the fact that she has a wonderful husband, beautiful home and now one of my daughters. My mother (yes my mother) told me that it is time to focus on yourself, your wife and young daughter and let the older daughters go. "You have done all you can for them" she said. I agree with her on this. However, they are still my girls and I love them very much. Looking forward, I know things will still be difficult when they are adults because of their mother's influence. I try to remain positive and focus on my family. I know this is a lot and maybe some of you out there have gone through and are going through a similar situation. Any comments and suggestions will be greatly appreciated.