Help!!! Female Menstrual Mood Swings! Long Distance Relationship!
@hexeduser22 (7418)
Philippines
October 5, 2009 10:34am CST
I need help... I'm in a relationship with my most beloved girl for almost three years now. I love her so much that I'll do anything for her. We've known each other since college and we started out as friends. Ever since then I'm the target of her frustrations and anger every month when her period is nearing, it's not that I'm doing anything wrong to her but it just happens and it's always me. I felt like a guinea pig for her monthly mood swings but I learned to adapt and understand her. After college, we were separated and we had this kind of long distance relationship because she works outside the city and I'm still stuck in college, I missed college for two years. Every weekends we see each other, I go to her place and she goes to mine. Were going strong and of course we also have some ups and downs but we overcame it all together. Last April, she went to Singapore to find a new job that could help support her family. It was hard but I need to understand the situation. We still keep in touch and every night we chat through messenger. Everything is looking well because I told her we need to be strong for each other. This month was different though, she told me that I'm very annoying and she's pressured because she felt I'm controlling her and I'm intervening a lot in her life. I trust her I know it's just the mood swings and yes I said I understand her but still I was hurt. She said sorry and she told me she doesn't like the way she treats me every time she had this mood swings. Then she told me I don't deserve someone like her and I deserve someone better and she even said that she wants me to go back to my ex, that until now loves me. I told to stop rumbling nonsense because your hurting me more and it doesn't really help."If you really want me to leave then tell me now say it directly and I will do it, it may be hard and painful but I will do it if it makes you happy"and "You wouldn't have said such things if you still love me, give it some thought. You never heard me complain. My goal is to marry you and be with you forever" were the exact words I told here. She logged off and after a minute or so she called me and said she was sorry and she love me.
Wow that was long... I want to prevent this things from happening again. I know it's her nature to have this mood swings and I have to live with it. Can you tell me what to do to understand her more? I've been very understanding so far for three years but I can't help it, I still get hurt. I need advise to keep our relationship strong.
Thank you
1 person likes this
8 responses
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
6 Oct 09
Hello
You sound like such a loving caring guy, god knows you don't deserve this this, in al reality neither do we lol, I hate this time of the month 
my mood swings are not as bad as they use to be, but sometimes I still get down, I stay to myself, I will never mylot if I did I will have no friends 
I guess in a way this can be a beautiful thing look what we go through as woman, we carry life inside of us for nine months, then we have to push the babies out, we go through so much, its a wonder why our hormones are all jacked up, just continue to be there for her my friend, and keep your distance during this time of the month, hopefully in time she will be able to control these moods, hopefully don't say kitty said lol because we never know, we can only hope.
like the way you handle her, just be a little firm, not mean but firm, say look I have feelings when you are over this give me a call, things like this maybe that will help snap her back into reality.
I think the two of you will be fine.
Thanks for this, we are sorry, we don't mean to be a bitckk
You sound like such a loving caring guy, god knows you don't deserve this this, in al reality neither do we lol, I hate this time of the month my mood swings are not as bad as they use to be, but sometimes I still get down, I stay to myself, I will never mylot if I did I will have no friends I guess in a way this can be a beautiful thing look what we go through as woman, we carry life inside of us for nine months, then we have to push the babies out, we go through so much, its a wonder why our hormones are all jacked up, just continue to be there for her my friend, and keep your distance during this time of the month, hopefully in time she will be able to control these moods, hopefully don't say kitty said lol because we never know, we can only hope.
like the way you handle her, just be a little firm, not mean but firm, say look I have feelings when you are over this give me a call, things like this maybe that will help snap her back into reality.
I think the two of you will be fine.
Thanks for this, we are sorry, we don't mean to be a bitckk1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Hello my friend
I am so happy to hear everything is fine, you are really great and she is lucky to have you, just give her a call when you know this is happening say things like I am just checking in if she sounds like she is going to spas out say bye lol, we are unpredictable but we will be fine, as long as she knows you are there all will be fine my friend, thanks for being you 
I wish the two of you all the best.
I am so happy to hear everything is fine, you are really great and she is lucky to have you, just give her a call when you know this is happening say things like I am just checking in if she sounds like she is going to spas out say bye lol, we are unpredictable but we will be fine, as long as she knows you are there all will be fine my friend, thanks for being you
I wish the two of you all the best.1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
27 Feb 12
Thank you! I would just like to let you know that somehow we made it through. It's been a rough ride for the both of us but we learned and we grew stronger. I hope that on your side everything is well.
Again thank you! I would never forget the day you came by this discussion
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
She usually comes around whenever she saw me sad at times like this. I'm happy to tell you that were okay now and were back to normal as if nothing ever happened. I guess it's best for me to know when to stay away or stand near. I'm just worrying a lot when I'm not near her or when I cannot talk to her because she, and other women, tends to be very unpredictable at that certain time of the month
@ladyella (145)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
well, i can sense that she is using her mood swings as an excuse for her irritability towards you. this is not a good sign because she may be up to something but she can't say it directly to you. maybe she is working on detaching herself slowly from you, maybe not for good but just to give yourselves space to breathe. just don't let your guard down and be ready for whatever might happen. be sensitive and look for more telltale signs of the current status of your relationship. good luck to both of you. i hope you can sort this out. ^^
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
It has been like this for almost three years and so I can say she's not into cheating. I'm a man not a machine that's why I broke down earlier and yes we sorted it out. I just need an advise on how to be more patient and understanding so as to prevent this kind of things from happening again. Don't worry I didn't let my guard down:)
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
It's easier said than done but yeah I sometimes try to put myself in her shoe. One time I remember, I let her do what she feels like to do that very moment and try not to speak. Sometimes it would work sometimes it won't. There was also a time I tried to cool her down with a smile but it only made matters worst
@Rakshas (223)
• India
6 Oct 09
Hi hexeduser22, You have to understand your girlfriend because i hope she is also understanding you.She let me tell you very clearly I don't believe in long distance relationships because i feel that long distance relationship cannot be trusted any one of them can go in wrong path and the partner wont know anything and the other partner will be waiting for the her/him and will just be fooled.I don't actually know about your relation and I m also not commenting on yours but It was my feeling.Sorry if you got hurt.But try and understand your girlfriend more.God bless you both.Happy my lotting
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
I understand where you are coming from and I appreciate your view. Sometimes not all that we see and hear is true. Trust is the main component of maintaining a long distance relationship. There is a happy ending in long distance relationship too, you know
@nagikka (407)
• Italy
6 Oct 09
I don't think there's anything more that you can do. I read what you have done for her so far and you seem very understanding and supportive, which I think is enough. She is the one who has to work on herself If she cares about you and this relationship, she's lucky enough to have you by her side and that's enough. I don't think it's all about menstrual mood swing, I think it's more about her temper and attitude that need to be rethinked over twice :)
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
It's not an everyday thing so I can say it really is the mood swings. There are times when understanding and being there is not enough. No matter how careful or good you are in handling relationships, there are times you tend to overlook something and thus results in conflict. I know how to handle her temper but it's really hard when it's accompanied with unpredictable mood swings
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
hello hexeduser,
Well, if she's on Mens, expect the unexpected there and probably better be careful on what you say to her. yes, women with menstruation can drive a girl nuts and have a lot of mood swings, even if they have it they tend to literally change minds. reminds me a lot of a friend a few years ago. i thought she lost some one in her life where in the she was just in the mood swing.1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
Hi!
Your right I must expect the unexpected hehe. I agree that I should be mindful and careful of my words whenever she transforms. I'm always wrong and reason is not logical at times like this
Your right I must expect the unexpected hehe. I agree that I should be mindful and careful of my words whenever she transforms. I'm always wrong and reason is not logical at times like this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
There was a time that I had some suspicions too but later I realized that was very immature of me. I trust her completely as she trust me her life:) I agree women are difficult to understand sometimes but I think is somewhat the same too
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
5 Oct 09
I always feel sorry for my husband I have said the most awful things to him at my time of the month.My daughter kicked her husband out of the house ,after a few days she wondered why she had done it.My husband gave our son in law some advise,what ever she says don't take any notice be kind and understanding and put up with it.My husband learn't a long time ago not to argue or tell me I am wrong at that time of the month and my husband passed on the information and they are a lot happier now.We girls cannot help it ,we love our men really but something changes in us.Even my teenage son knows to keep clear and help me more when I am like that.Just don't take it personal.please put up with it,as we don't mean it.If you intend marrying and having kids you must find a way of dealing with it,as we are all the same.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
6 Oct 09
Thank you for this wonderful advise. I guess I have to live with and put up with it forever but I'm happy. I will try not to be very emotional when this things happen again. Misterwit and I were right about this things being inherited. I'll take your husband's advise and I'm sure will be happier too
@irisspeedy3xc (64)
• United States
5 Oct 09
to be honest there is nothing you can do, because is not you having the moood swings is her, so she is the one who has to work on it, on not taking it out in you. it sounds like you do love her very much, so be patient and explain to her that you want to work it out, but she needs to do her part, on not taking it out on you, during the time of the month. because that makes it more difficult, if she really loves you, she will do her best to manage that anger to something else, that is not you.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7418)
• Philippines
5 Oct 09
I guess I just need to be more patient and understanding and show her I support her all the way
