Is it fair to receive salary from MOM?

Wow that is a lot of money that she is paying her own childern to help her. It sounds to me like that they would help their own mother out for free or at least not as much money.To me it sounds a little selfish. After all she did raise them as children.

I think that is a very large amount of money for a mom to pay for her children to help her. My brothers and I always helped my mom out when she got older. She did offer gas money and even when we were all caring for her in her final days she pushed us to accept payment. We did not. I'm sure there are situations when it would be right but family is supposed to help each other out. That is what family does. right?

But she is hiring them and they will be working for her. They are employees and employees must be paid and receive various benefits though I'm not sure what these are, if any, in your country. I don't understand how you expect them to work for nothing, support themselves and their family and support you Mum as well....how does that work? She is a business woman and she wants to employ family. This is what is done in many affluent international companies. Just on a side note, your mum must have an extensive range of properties to manage if she needs so many people...good luck to her.

Hmmmm, sounds like your mom is a pretty reasonable lady and she wants to get things done, and so, perhaps sound off the 1.5k per month for your siblings. What did your siblings say at first? Did they totally agree or were they reluctant to agree with the term? I think aging parents should not pay their children for anything, but if they willingly do that like a form of gratitude, then it's a different story altogether. I think monthly payout of 1.5k is a bit much, but if your mom could afford it and she sees no other way to it to get things done, then it has to be that way. The only people whom could reject that sum of money per month would be your siblings. She is offering them an incentive, I think if she sees it right. And she wants things to be done a certain way. But I wouldn't have the heart to take the 1.5k if I am her child though. Interesting mom you have..

hi zandi458 Well most moms don't have that kind of money but stll its her business and she is giving them money for managing her property. I suppose in a way children could halp their parents without being paid but I think in your mom's case she is actually paying them wages for work they are doing for her.

If it is a proper business and proper work then yes they should get paid and be lucky they can work in the family business instead of joining the queue for work.The only time is if they are not doing a proper job bearing in mind if they let her down she will sack them.That is a lot of pressure.After all you will all benefit in the end and it is better than letting the business be run by complete strangers who might diddle you out of your inheritance and your mother out of her business.It is a childs duty to make sure your mother is looked after in illhealth and her house be kept nice for her.Business is business and why should they work for nothing could you afford to.

Is this to each one of them or al togehter.? If they are caregivers they need alittle bit to help pay her bills and such and if they are running a business for her is good to receive a wage for that. BUT this sounds like an awful lot if it is $1500 each!

I guess it is your mum's way of showing appreciation towards your siblings for helping her with the management of her property. Rather than let some stranger agent earn the money, your mum prefers to have some one she trust to handle her affairs. And she is just rewarding them for helping her. Let her be. As long as she is happy with the current arrangement, let her be.

GOOD MORNING ZANDI, The first thing that popped in my head is why just giving to three when she has other children. I hope i never have to have help from my kids.I nevr helped my mother financially at all . She had alot more money than i did & didn't need help.

My question is is she didn't pay the children for this work would she pay someone else? As long as all agree and there is fair value given I don't see a problem.

Hello my friend zandi458 Ji, Your conception is natural. But as of now, whatever is with me as a MOM and G/Mom, I am not going to carry alongwith me after I complete my earthly journey, in case any of my children need my help I am always at tehir disposal. may be taht I get lot of satisfaction. At the same time, if any of my earning children and their children give me something, I always take it a smy birth-right. One more things in our society and dealings we do not take anything from our daughters even after their marriage. We always give them. It is taken as a sin. May God bless You and have a great time.

Hi, Zandi! Generally, I don't think it is fair to receive salary from our parents IF we are doing household chores and baby sitting for the youngsters at home, but even sometimes, some parents just love to shower their kids with some incentives of their hard work. In your case, will the 3 appointed siblings work full time in managing her property? If yes, then, I think your mom is thinking about paying them as she is the employer and them as the employees. However, if she was just asking for their help to manage her property, I don't think it will be necessary for the 3 siblings to receive the 'salary' from your mom. She can reward them with any amount of money, but if you mean giving them a fixed salary, they are taking advantage of her and they should reject the money, but help willingly. If she has no money to offer them, are they still going to help her out?? If yes, then, it's OK, but if not, then poor mom , she has to 'buy' her own kids just to help her. Bless her!

Hi Zandi, Well I think its nothing wrong if she is paying because its her way of thinking if you really think its wrong and its your duty to help aged parents then teach your children that you can earn money only if you work hard and help the aged parents without expecting anything and take the amount from your mother save the amount in her name and it can used for her medicines or you can even purchase some surprising gifts which makes her really happy. This is my way of thinking, what do you say? ok have a nice day.

as they say mother will always be a mother who will always be there for their children no matter what. maybe that's the way of your mother for your siblings not to go anywhere and not being progressive at all. at least if they are working with your mom then your mother is happy seeing them have enough money for their living and she don't need to spoonfeed them, like giving money without any reason at all,right? so be happy that your mother is indeed a truly great mother of all, who tried to help her kids in any way she can.

Hi zandi, I know some parents who are still giving payment or giving valuable things to their children and grandchildren. Actually it is the duty of the children to take care of their parents. But I think the parents are finically sound then only they can help their kids and in fact their earnings are going to their next generation automatically. So there is nothing wrong to give money to children irrespective of their financial background, if the parents are in a position to do it. I have seen you new discussion and I tried to respond it from IE and Firefox. You are right I can’t respond the same. Unfortunately I did not get the notification of the same in my gmail. I have some notification from other friends and I can respond directly from gmail but I can’t respond to those discussions with no response.

I agree with you that it is the duty of the children to help their aging parents with out expecting in return. But it is case to case basis, such as it would depend on the point of view of the giver, in some point maybe your mother does take your brothers not as sons but as an employee in her business. Or in the case above it would i guess your mother would have thought that your brother would not act as custodian voluntarily because it is by the culture that they have been used with the idea that every thing has to be exchange with money. I remember during my childhood my mom would give me small amount to reinforce me to do certain task. But only to use it as an encouragement.Later it was cut off.

Ya u r right , childrens should not depend on parents once they finish up their studies , they should support themselves and the family instead of depending on parents i think that coz even i am dependent on my parents , am going to finish up my engg, then i would make sure i get into a good job and atleast support myself

As a general rule, yes, I would agree with you. But this sum sounds like the siblings are doing work that your mom would have to hire someone to do anyway; a real job, not just helping her clean the house. If so, I see no reason not to expect a proper salary for a proper job. It also might be your mom's way of staying connected. Grown children have to work, so why not create a family business where everybody benefits?

i think it's just right because they worked for it. it'd be a shame if they just got it without having worked for it..because business is a different matter. it's just so happened that they work for your mother and she's the boss and it's employer-employee relationship and you separate it with personal matters.

hmmm.. is it good for child not for adults... they must be on their own toes, they must earn money and give to their parents.. that is my thought