In real situations, how do you answer questions that you do not wish to answer?

Hi Kala! Very good question! I face this sitatuon quite often. Some of our close relatives always keep asking very personal questions, whenever we see eath other in functions or at our respective homes. They are just incorrigible. If I do not want to disclose the information, I give evasive response(s). However, if they keep persisting with the same question(s) and I feel they cannot be avoided, I better let them know the truth and funnily enough when they would meet us next time, they would repeat the same question(s). My better half feels that one way of tackling with such persons is to also ask them similar direct question to make them feel a little bit embrassed. I've observed people won't share their personal information easily, on the other hand they remain quite inquisiite and curious to know the personal details of us.. I on my part, refrain from asking uncomfortable personal questions. I do not want them to feel them irritated or embarassed with my questions.

Hi kalav, people who are close would know me well enough not to ask, people who are not as close who ask receive the standard 'I don't talk about that'. Nothing could be simpler.

i act dumb as if i havent heard the question or sometimes i say a plain i dont know.i try to divert their attention by either reprimanding kids for their unwanted behaviour and so on.

If someone asks that kind of question, they also just usually move on talking even when you just started to open your mouth to try and answer the question. That kinda relieves you of having to think of something fast since the person asking might have already forgotten about it. That may not always be the case, and in those situations where the one who asked clearly is waiting for an answer, quick wit should be exercised. When that happens to me, I just smile and look at them then they'd go on talking. When that doesnt work I just ask them the same question, and they'll just answer their own question. I also just change the topic or ask them something that I know they'll get excited about so they would forget about the question they posed. There are those people that where Id have to use all those mentioned just so the one who asked would just drop it. When all else fails, I excuse myself and tell him/her that I need to go to the bathroom or to talk to someone else for an important matter. Different techniques work on different people. You just gotta find the right mix.

I would not be afraid to say that it is none of their business, or i would just ignore the question and not answer. If you let other people dictate how you would answer a question, or how you live it is not your own life any more.

depends on the question..then i would laugh and open another topic or try to divert my frens attention to other things or simply pretend you need to do other things and say one moment let me get this...

I makes it a point that the people I move with feel that I do not entertain personal questions and practice it too.I never probe into their personal matters ever.I haven't come across with this problem with the people who are close with that would have made things difficult for me to handle. But if ever I come across a situation with the people whose feelings I do not want to hurt I may give a very vague reply that may be interpreted in many ways. With strangers this has never been a problem with me.I cal always tell them softly and sternly 'Isn't it a wee bit personal'? with a smile on my face.

This is the time that I would pull them aside and quietly tell them: "I'm sorry, I value your friendship, and I hope you will understand, but that is not something I comfortable sharing with anyone." If they insist, then you can add something like "I really do like the close relationship that we have but you are now overstepping the bounds of that friendship. If you don't back off, I will feel forced to discontinue the friendship and ask you not to contact me again."

I'm a pretty honest and open person. My close friends and family would not have to ask such questions because they already know pretty much every deep dark personal secret that I may have and then some. If they did have a question, I would not be in the least uncomfortable in answering it. The ones that usually ask such questions are not as close to me as they perceive themselves as being and I would just say simply that "It is personal and I am not comfortable talking about it." If they did not understand then I suppose it would be more their problem than mine.

kalav56 If they are close to me they will know that there are some things that I do not talk about except with my ' very best friend or my son.If they are not that close, I will say with politeness, I am sorry, but that is a 'closed' subject. then move on to some other safer topic.

Hi Kalav56, You do bot have to say anything you don't want to say, that way you are not lying, you just don't wish to anwer them on that subject ot just stir the converation away, your personal situations your business and not theirs. Tamara

Well, if it is really really personal, then I will explain to the asker and however I will never answer it. I've been asked several times about things which are very very personal and I felt like I was being offended beside the asker felt the same way as I did. Who was right and who was wrong ? I really can't explain it. But I have right to answer any questions addressed to me, and I know that people have a right to ask a question, but about the personal one, do they still have the same right ? =)

It is awkward when we are asked questions we are not comfortable answering. I have a friend that has no problem divulging all her family’s personal information such as how much they earn, what they owe etc and she expects me to do the same. I don’t like to talk about my finances and I know my husband does not like me to do so I tend to avoid the question and change the subject. Nine times out of ten she gets the hint and stops asking but when she persists I just say something along the lines of,” I would rather not say...”and quickly start talking about something else. It’s not always easy though; I hate it when you say to someone that you can’t be somewhere because you’re busy and they insist on knowing what you are doing, I get a little irritated and say, “I’m just busy, ok?”

If a close friend ask me very important question which is really need to it for myself, then I choose not to tell either. I will personally her that kindly respect my privacy, I will tell you if it's good and enough for me to share. I'm sure a real friend will understand.

I have close people who are very nosy and ask questions about my personal business that they do not have a right too. They will not recognize a boundary about my personal life and stay out of it so I do the only thing I can do, I tell them that it is my personal business and I am not going to talk about it. And since that rarely works, sometimes I will try to change the subject to something much more interesting than my dull personal business. And since there are times that doesn't work either, then I have to finally tell them that I am not talking about that with them and I say it quite firmly. Yes, I do end up antagonizing them but how else can I tell them to back off. They are family and sometimes they are very mean and terribly nosy. I actually do my best to keep them from finding out about my personal business as much as possible.

Just say,"no comments".They should surely understand and stop further questions and if they continue with the questions,make fun like answering unrelated answers like,"today is hot".........!Sure,it is a tough task to handle such irritating questions from people who think they are close.They embarrass us in public without having the least common sense.

When someone asks me a personal question that I don't want to answer I give them ambiguous answers, or of I can't think of an ambiguous answer I simply tell them that I can't answer their question. After that I change the topic so that the situation doesn't become awkward.

They maybe offended if not given and answer but I would not give them one anyway. I would tell them I do not think they need to know and then change the subject to something else. I hope that will give them the hint not to ask anymore personal questions.

My near and dear ones are well aware of what to ask and what not to, but at some times, when I am in a difficult situation like you mentioned, I first try to ward off the question by saying something, if the person persists on an answer, then they will see me angry. Knowing that they are asking something which I am not going to like or which I am not going to answer,and to proceed with it is quite irritating.I do not ask silly things to people and I expect the same from others but you know how persisting some people can be, in that case, I tell firmly that I do not want to talk about it but with a smile. That helps a lot, the smile I mean hi hi...

jokes are half meant but of course my friends knew me well so i merely said, " i prefer to invoke my right against self-incrimination!" we all laughed and changed the topic eventually. ü