Would you still be honest to your partner on a certain issue even if.....

Hi Mobhomeir. I do understand your plight. My best advice is to walk the talk. Means to walk through the process step by step (even if it bores your wife to tears) so that she understands the things that you are going through; by making friends online and earning and stuff like that. Show to her how harmless it is, and leave her some time alone with the PC for her to participate. If she knows the drill, she can then come to a better conclusion. Normally, most people jump to conclusions because they don't understand how non-impact an easy thing that they don't understand is. Of course, there are those danger moments, but a harmless one such as going online and making friends harmlessly across the globe would not result to anything. And furthermore, all of your friends would know that you are married and they would respect that. All the best yeah..

I would continue to be honest because if she ever thinks you've lied..it will only be worse in the long run. Why don't you start a discussion introducing her to all of us? That would be great! She could come read the responses and maybe get an idea about who we are. Maybe it will make her feel better about us too. If I were you, I would just use my best judgement.

This is a very difficult situation because jealous partners are usually insecure people who may need help, or visit a counsellor. I have seen this problem as a therapist so many times, and I urge the partner, not to change what they are doing on a day-to-day basis, because that is like being untrue to what they want to do. It is no good trying to force such a partner into counselling. They eventually go themselves, when they are ready. And it's very difficult to say when they are ready because this is something they will feel themselves, spontaneously. As I mention previously, a person would need to carry on what they are doing whilst trying to be patient and understanding as possible and just to keep on reassuring their partner as often as possible. Defending oneself, or protesting innocence very often only makes the situation worse, because if an insecure person loses his/her jealousy of one situation, he/she would find another situation to feel negative about. You need to get to the core of the insecurity, more than address a specific situation. I hope thing improve for you soon.. - Derek

I dated a man like that and I ended the relationship. I am a very straitforward and honest person by nature. I expect my partner to be honest and therefore I am honest. I have nothing to hide to anyone. Ok so this guy started suspecting everything I did and not just on the computer. I did find myself lying to him about the most silly things just to avoid conflict. I didn't like how it made me feel. I could not honestly say that I was an honest person. That was not the only issue we had and not the entire reason why I ended the relationship but his personality being so negative and paranoid was the biggest issue. It makes for a relationship that lacks the closeness that would be what i'd want in a relationship. Sorry but I could not continue in a relationship like the one you describe.

hmmm! can you think of anything why she acted that way? did she caught sometime that you chatted with somebody which is suspiciously to her part? because sometimes we women can feel it honestly. im not being biased here or whatsoever. i just wanna know why she acted that way? because im sure she will not react if she didnt smell fishy about your online business. please dont get mad at me, this is just an opinion.

For me If it happened to myself I don't say the truth because it's useless he didn't want to open his self to understand you and he keep nagging.If I wear you you don't matter about that situation Because he gave you a complecated life.

Hello Martin, Uh uh,this sounds so bad now. I think she is really a jealous type.I am a woman and was been a wife too,but i am not a jealous type and not even a suspicious type. Every individual being had different attitudes and behaviour,there is no way of honesty or open conversation with someone who is a jealous and suspicious type,not unless he/she would change that attitude. The first thing/step is,ask her to change that attitude it won't do any good with your marriage life. You can discuss this matter with her in a matter of heart to heart talk. Ask her why she cannot trust you fully,when she knows you are head over heels inlove with her. Tell her,if she won't change that bad attitude,it will slowly ruined her personality. On your part my amigo,check yourself too. Being jealous and suspicious is one way of getting attention. Are you sure you are giving her enough attention,care and affection she needs? Are you still as sweet like you were on your honeymoon stage? Try everything to settle this issue amigo...she just needs attention

By not being honest it doesn't stop your wife from nagging you the more she will and it's not helpful. Just continue being an honest person to him even she didn't believe you. Time will come she will trust you again. Maybe you make her feel that way before that's why she was like that. Just let her know you are a going straight person right now but not telling her but by with your actions.Soon you will gain her trust.

It sounds like she is overreacting. But is there any reason that she has to feel insecure, in any other area of your relationship? Maybe the problem is her own self esteem and not to do with you at all. On the other hand, I do not believe a married man should be talking to a woman online regularly. In a group, like posting on mylot, yes, but frequently having one on one conversations with a woman I would find inappropriate from my husband unless it was someone we both knew. Do you talk to her and spend time with her? I know I have been annoyed in the past if my husband spends his whole time staring at the computer and barely answers if I talk to him. I hope this gets resolved for you, good luck!

Hi mobhomeir,Yes!It is better to always tell the truth even if she don't believes in you.I can feel that you are in problem right?By the way i understand what your wife feels,because i am also a wife,that sometimes happened to me.On my part i'll just do some prayers for that because we are only human.Just explain to her,as long as your concience is clean. Be open to her so that you and your wife will always in harmony.May be she feels insecurity.Be honest aalways no matter what.Thanks and Good Luck!

How many pc do you have in your house? :-) Why dont youlet her see how much you earn online so maybe she can help. When my ex used to play online games with his friends, he brings me with them. It bores me really but it makes me appreciate all his tranparency in our relationship. He tells me his passwords and his phone is available for my perusal anytime. So i trust him. It's all games for him though. BUT he doesnt have online friends. I think, for me, i would always choose to be hoest with my partner. AT least, i wont have guilt feelings.

being honest in a relationship is good for two sides.you did the right thing.no matter it is good or bad,just tell her the truth.this will help her know how your relationship is going.

Some say that there are several reasons why someone would regularly confront/nag/acuse or what have you. One of which may be that one who accuses may indeed be the one who is committing the crime. For several reasons, they may have done something of similar nature in the past and knows where it went and may think that what you are doing is in like nature. Or they are currently doing something and are worried about getting caught and would rather place the blame on you first. This is of course just one general theory. You need to figure out why she isn't comfortable with it. And when you have the conversation, don't just listen to what she says..."hear" in a general term what she is saying. You might pick up on clues of a past relationship or scenario. Maybe a friend had a negative outcome in a similar situation. There is a reason why she is being negative, you just have to figure out the real reason, then you'll be able to address the problem.

for me, i should be honest to my partner because in honesty there is a freedom. i know that thru honesty you can really justify what are you doing. ifever my partner is really doubtful about what i have doing, i will let her to explain her side, and then make a justification about our particular issue.. specially on online friendship.

hello mobhomeir, sounds like you got one paranoid partner there mob. i don't know, in my case my mom is lucky enough to understand me and wants me to be here so that i can pay for skype and soon save a lot of money. my advice is talk to her, or better yet refer her to mylot and force her to be active here all the time. she won't believe unless you force her to join or better yet let her see your discussions and responses so that i hope it will clear her doubt about you cheating...

a girl will not be suspicious if a guy is honest with her since the beginning of your relationship. like for me i don't suspect my boyfriend whenever he uses the computer because he told me everything including his password.

Dear, Mohamed. The discussion you have started is most important now a days. This is happening with me also. If you are an honest and share everything you do on the Net, sometimes that are not acceptable to your spouse. They always think that you are cheating them. Its basically because of loyalty and trust building. I have spent last 24 years with my wife and she still thinks that I am having a love relation with another girl. When I tried to explain her the actual facts, even when I introduced my wife to that girl, for a few days no problem, but after a couple days when my wife talks to that girl (20 year less than my age), she starts thinking that I am in love with that girl. And then the actual problem starts. It happens in many cases. One of my close friends also having this kind of problems. The best way to handle this kind of situation, as per my opinion, is to play a drama with that girl in front of your wife and say that you do not want to keep the relationship with that girl, while the Mobile phone is in speaker mode (you should previously inform that to your GF) and that girl also tells you the same thing, that she will not disturb you in future because you are facing trouble at Home because of her. I do not know is there any other way you can handle this. Sometimes you have to be dis-honest and tell lies to save/keep both the relationship. After all, we are all human being. And we need various relationships. Like me I love all kind of humans, this is Love Humans. said by Swami Vivekananda also. I always follow him. My name is also same as Swami too. But I also oppose keeping any kind of physical relationship if you can avoid.

i think u can hide certain things when it affects ur life .u have to spend time with her instead spending time online

Hi,I think your wife is a lucky one because she has a honest husband,which is very rare and very precious today.But I believe there are different ways to keep being a honest husband under different conditions.If you love your wife heart and soul,then it it not necessary to tell her everyting you're doing and thinking,which can strains you so much.You have responsibility to make your wife happy,that's right;you also have right to make yourself happy and relax.:)